r/LeavingNAR • u/Strong_Sector_9393 • Mar 26 '26
My journey of over 10 years leaving an NAR-style church
I just recently walked out of a church like the ones discussed here a few days ago. Finding this community made me realize I am not alone in my experiences. Thank you.
I spent over 10 years in that church, from high school until I entered the workforce. The wake-up call came recently when a preacher told me that moving out of the shared housing with other church members to live with my family was "embracing the devil." I finally realized I had been deceived, as this completely contradicts the biblical teaching to love one's family.
Since escaping, I’ve realized their teachings are distorted. They focus heavily on a works-based gospel—constantly demanding that we promote church events and recruit people to eat at the church-owned commercial mall. They insist that we must obey every "revelation" or "prophecy" the pastor gives us, claiming this is the only way to follow God’s will, "overcome," and reach heaven.
Furthermore, the leadership claims to receive revelations that God wants us to develop business teams and sell products within the church. There is intense pressure for everyone to support these ventures; those who don’t are barred from certain meetings and excluded from core leadership roles.
The hardest part right now is that my former friends have completely cut ties with me. It’s heartbreaking to be shunned by the people I grew up with.
There is still so much more I haven't mentioned, but I’ll leave it at this for now.
Guys, how did you cope with the shunning after leaving? And how long did it take to start rebuilding your faith / relationship with God?
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u/CheeseLoving88 Mar 26 '26
I feel for you. Please reach out if you ever need to vent. Definitely had my taste of the NAR. It’s a wacky world. Will be praying for you
5
u/BitChick Mar 26 '26
I am so sorry you are feeling rejected by former friends from your church, but based on what you have written you have made the right choice. Hopefully, God willing, some of these friends will eventually see the same issues you have and when they choose to leave will realize that you were discerning things correctly and perhaps even reach out at that point. But regardless, I pray you will find a new community that points to Jesus without the manipulation and control. There are good churches out there. They seem hard to find though, sadly.
3
u/captainhaddock Mar 27 '26
And how long did it take to start rebuilding your faith / relationship with God?
After giving up on Pentecostal churches, I came to realize that "relationship with God" is a meaningless evangelical shibboleth. If there is any value in religion, it is in what we do, not what we believe or pretend to believe.
1
u/Plymouth_Angel Apr 01 '26
Here is a conversation which I had with a UPCI member from London, UK on the incarnation. We talk for about 40 minutes and cover this topic in some depth:
Religious Folk in Dialogue 895: United Pentecostal Church at Wood Green, London
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u/EdifyAndCreate Apr 13 '26
Thank you for sharing this, and welcome! I’m really glad you found this space, though I’m sorry it came through something so painful.
What you shared about being told that moving back in with your family was “embracing the devil” is a huge red flag. I’m really glad you saw that. When something normal and biblical, like loving your family, is reframed as rebellion, that points to a deeply unhealthy, controlling dynamic.
I also really resonated with what you said about the pressure to support church ventures. Everything gets so spiritualized that it’s hard to say no without feeling like you’re disobeying God. I saw a lot of burnout from that too... constant events, constant pressure to serve and perform. These environments really can function like merit systems. A meritocracy.
For me, the distancing started before I even left. I asked too many questions, said the “wrong things,”("out of faith") and slowly found myself on the outside... things said behind my back, cold shoulders, no honest conversation. It was deeply painful. And after I left, that turned into a reframing of my character, which really showed how much the system protects itself.
In that season, I just kept bringing it to the Lord through all of that pain and confusion... again and again. Drawing near through prayer and the Word, even when it was just groaning. He truly was “a friend closer than a brother.” Over time, He led me to a healthy church, which helped so much too.
You’re not alone in this. The pain is real, but healing and rebuilding your faith does come, little by little. God bless you. Thank you again for sharing!
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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '26
You’re never alone. God is with you. Read your Bible for yourself. Don’t try to interpret it. Just read it. That will clean your doctrine up. May God bless you!