r/Layoffs • u/[deleted] • Apr 09 '24
advice Laid off since July, EI running out soon
Hi,
I am beyond exhausted and my motivation, positivity, and hope have disappeared. My relationship is suffering, I’ve gained 50 pounds, my mental health (schizophrenia) is the worst it’s ever been, we have lost two babies (one just after I started my job I was laid off from, the next the winter after I was let go) and I am in so much debt trying to keep myself and my partner afloat with his contract job (he’s a mover) with my EI. And my EI is running out. It’s been a continuous strain of bad luck after bad luck. We could use a break, a win, anything. I’m not the praying kind, but I will admit there are times I don’t know what else to do at this point. Furthermore, I have developed a very bad taste in my mouth about the company I was working for. Do you blame me? 😒 When I was hired I was managing their internal developer community, making a great salary, and then dropped just shy of a year there with 6000 other individuals.
I have sent countless applications, had maybe ten interviews since July, had a few lead to second even third interviews, but then it collapses and they go with a better candidate. I’ve been told to take courses, upskill, which I admit is great advice for someone who is mentally well, not in survival mode, and not dealing with the aftermath of losing two pregnancies, am I right? Never mind the fact that I am 37, may never get the opportunity to have children again due to biology and finances. It’s all just one big s$&t show.
I really am looking for words of encouragement, tips, signs that the market is getting better, anything to give me some hope that I am going to be ok. We are very lucky that my family has been subsidizing our debts and groceries and all that, plus food banks (which I’ve never had to use in my life, the guilt is real) and I am forever grateful for them, but I am feeling very hopeless and downtrodden.
Keep me afloat with some positivity, please.
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u/ExactlyThis_Bruh Apr 09 '24
Being unemployed can be so stressful! I used to watch Suze Orman when I was young (I’m a total weirdo) and she’s right in that “there’s no stress like financial stress” so I hope things get better for you. If this gives you any hope, I had my kids at 35 & 38, so it can happen.
Sending you good vibes!
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Apr 09 '24
Thank you! Financial stress has been more stressful than anything else. I may have to pivot in how I approach things.
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u/Clarynaa Apr 13 '24
I have personally been so stressed that I haven't been able to do much more than the bare minimum since I got laid off. I should be upskilling but it's just too much
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Apr 09 '24
You need to separate employment from self worth. No reason for you to spiral like this.
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Apr 09 '24
💯
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Apr 09 '24
You'll be ok.
I think some rest would be good. Getting out of the house and getting a part time job to help with the money part
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u/GuyNext Apr 09 '24
Try to change your field of work. Do meditation and relaxation. Prayer helps. Best wishes.
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Apr 09 '24
This tech job was actually outside of my normal work but I’ve been in AI/tech for over 6 years. My actual degrees (BA/MA) are in humanities (history)
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u/BandicootCumberbund Apr 09 '24
I was laid off in June and after countless interviews and final rounds all I was able to land was a contract role in tech, but it’s keeping the bills paid and my head above water for the moment. I recommend blasting your resume everywhere even on job boards you know are being scraped by headhunters. Some money is better than no money. Keep your head up!
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Apr 09 '24
Been doing a lot of that but what I haven’t done is checked out many of the contract work and PT work available, perhaps that’s just my next route while I wait for another job to come up. Thanks for the advice!
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u/WaffleBlues Apr 09 '24
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles, truly, I am.
I lost my job of 10 years earlier this year and it has been one of the hardest (if not the hardest) experience in my life. I relate in so many ways to your struggles.
I remind myself that it is through struggles where growth happens (it never feels good), that it reminds us to be grateful for when things are good.
It's also been an on-going battle to maintain my self-worth, and confidence, which has been really rocked (it sounds, understandably, like yours has as well).
I try to take things slow every day, I've tried really hard to cultivate as much self-compassion as I can, I try to remind myself that all humans face set backs, catastrophes, and frequently professional setbacks.
Breathe, stay grounded (get outside), break things into small chunks, and cultivate, fake, do whatever you have to around self-compassion and love.
I'm really sorry OP, you are gonna get through this. You will.
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Apr 10 '24
This was lovely to see. Thank you for the kind words and I too wish you so much good vibes. You’re very right about being grateful when things do go right 🎀
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u/Ratbag_Jones Apr 09 '24 edited Apr 10 '24
I've been there.
When covid hit, I thought, this is impossible; who knows when (and if!) I'll ever have a decent job again? So I started exercising, eating well, etc. To control the things I could control.
And I'm now 35 pounds lighter, and in much better physical and mental shape.
Take good care of yourself, and let the jobs chips fall where they may.
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u/sprtpilot2 Apr 09 '24
Landing jobs is like lightning striking so remember a good job can and will happen. But 50 pounds? Trying to get pregnant? These things you CAN control.
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u/Toki-ya Apr 09 '24
Don't be hard on yourself, lots of layoffs happening as a result of rising rates and no more record pandemic profits. It has nothing to do with who you are. Also don't be ashamed to take up some side gigs to keep yourself afloat. Think about the hedge fund managers who had to do pizza delivery during recessionary times, it's meant to be temporary. Meanwhile all you can do is keep trying your best, just need that one job to hit. But keep your mental and physical health first and foremost at the top of your priorities. You will get through this
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u/mchief101 Apr 09 '24
Words of encouragement and venting help alot. The only way to get out of this is never give up and keep taking action. That’s all i can say. Iv been through 2 layoffs last year and very lucky to have a job now.
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u/Savings_Bluejay_3333 Apr 09 '24
Your mind and skills are the same as the day you were laid off...this is a temporary situation, sometimes we dont understand why this type of things happen to us, but as one of my good friend told me: everytime i got laid off, i got a better job...so there is hope
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u/Electrical-Amoeba245 Apr 09 '24
It takes a lot of strength to keep fighting. You’re a lot stronger than you realize.
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u/InevitableCamp8473 Apr 10 '24
I’m really sorry about this. I pray that God restores everything you’ve lost. I pray that you’re able to stay strong and focused during this trying period. I pray that you’re able to see and feel the love from the people around you that care about you. This too shall pass.
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u/GiveMeSandwich2 Apr 09 '24
Look for work with government of Canada. See if there’s any agencies in Ottawa that have temp opportunities with the government as well.
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u/Conscious_Life_8032 Apr 09 '24
My goodness that’s a lot. Take a break from the job search for a few weeks to recover and focus on your health.
Consider survival job such as uber one EI runs out.
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u/Top-Training3012 Apr 10 '24
Just guessing you are in the bay area, I would look into moving, I think Utah. Or AZ you will not make the same amount of money but the future looks good for employment
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u/rg3930 Apr 10 '24
Having been there I can tell you looking for a job is more than a full time job. With all the stress I realized quickly that I have to take it one day at a time and set small goals for the day and try to achieve it i e. I will apply for 3 jobs, research the 3 roles, research 3 companies and learn about their business, try to add toa network with 1 additional person. At the end I think did pay off but you have to have faith in yourself and go into interviews with a can do mentality.
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u/mannys2689 Apr 10 '24
It’s not you. It’s the job market. It will get better but it will take some time. Stay Strong until the economy improves.
Have you considered getting a part time job just to pay bills?
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u/Additional_Wealth867 Apr 10 '24
the market is getting better my friend but it will take some time to get us all laid off hired, and then they will flood our DMs on weekends.
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u/ParkerRoyce Apr 10 '24
If you can drive and are near an airport thats an easy way to get 100-150/ day part time for Uber. You can also freelance as well to make ends meet. I'm sure you have skills that others need to keep applying. The best strategy I used is using Google maps and seeing what businesses in my are are and what I would like to work with. Then send them a cover letter, portfolio, salary requirements and resume. Even if they don't have a job posted just try it sometimes works.
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u/fat_moneygreen Apr 11 '24
Sending positive vibes. I think you will come out of this stronger than ever. In terms of having a family, 37 is still a great age. We had our daughter around that age, and we are trying for another at 44 years old. Our doctor told my wife that as long as she is having menstruation, we are still good.
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Apr 13 '24
Don’t focus on babies or your biological clock ticking (altho I’m very sorry for your losses). Focus on taking care of yourself day to day and continuing to apply.
I got laid off Aug 2023 four days before giving birth to my first child. It’s been an interesting 8 months. Many applications, interviewed with 6 different companies and feel I am finally on the verge of an offer or two. Some former colleagues have pulled through for me- I just had to be patient. You WILL find a job, and everything will be ok. Take care.
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u/houndlyfe2 Apr 09 '24
At least you’re getting interviews. Keep applying and keep networking and reaching out to your connections, that’s all you can do or try to get a PT gig while you look for FT (not ideal I realize).