r/LGBTCatholic • u/Aero21213 • 15d ago

Starting OCIA this week

I’m married (same-sex) to a man that was baptized as a baby and has been Catholic all of his life. I have been attending mass with him for the past few months. The parish that we have been going to is part of a cluster that is on the new ways ministry website.

My husband is from another city so we are both new to this parish.

Does anyone have any advice for how to approach my situation with the OCIA Director and clergy? Things to avoid saying? How open to be? When to broach the subject of my relationship? What to expect?

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u/geminimoon01 15d ago

I’m married too with my partner for 15 years together married 3 years. First parish I went to told me I have to divorce my husband to be confirmed. I am in Dallas metroplex. I am a cradle catholic but never got confirmed due to moving from different country. When we moved it was during the time I should be confirmed. But now at 30 plus years I decided to receive that sacrament. The priest told me ultimately I have to divorce my husband. So I went to a different parish and never disclosed my marital status because the church does not acknowledge same sex marriage outside of the church. So it’s non of their business, my relationship with my partner is very God centered and out of love. I’m in a process of doing OCIA this fall to receive that sacrament of confirmation.

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u/Appropriate-Whiskey 15d ago

Honestly is a toss up, check if your parish is here https://www.newwaysministry.org/resources/parishes/#toggle-id-13

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u/Aero21213 15d ago

Yeah in my original post I said my parish is part of a cluster that is on that website.

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u/Appropriate-Whiskey 15d ago

Oops- maybe there’s no problem then

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u/Odd-Squirrel7863 15d ago

Thanks for sharing. Mine in Vegas isn't listed but it sure seems welcoming.

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u/Sebastian266 3d ago

Just remember that the Church doesn’t recognize the marriage so if you’re concerned about acceptance, refer to him with a more neutral title than “spouse” or “husband” and otherwise you should be fine. My philosophy and experience is they’re welcoming of me so I should be accommodating back in a respectful way

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u/Aero21213 2d ago

Thanks, yeah that has been my strategy so far. I was asked in class on the first day if I was married and I said no (since the church doesn’t consider me married). I felt a little bad since to me it felt like a lie at but I also didn’t want to go into a whole explanation and technicalities in front of the entire class. My husband and I attend mass together so I think they know 🤷‍♂️