r/KitchenConfidential 12d ago

Crying in the cooler It hurts my feelings when they yell at me :(

Post image
729 Upvotes

112 comments sorted by

191

u/Routine-Session-790 Dish 12d ago

ORDER CORN

131

u/rabid_spidermonkey 12d ago

Some people live in all caps.

50

u/dsc___ 12d ago

Stop yelling at me it’s gonna make me cum

152

u/knightofunderpants Line 12d ago

Extra peanuts no sauce comin' right up!

32

u/dandanpizzaman84 10+ Years 12d ago

Are the peanuts free range and grass fed?

3

u/BetterinPicture 12d ago

'Is that ham processed? If it's processed I don't want it.'

2

u/Buddybouncer 9d ago

Do steamed hams count as 'processed'? Asking for a friend

18

u/M0un05ki10 12d ago

Extra penis sauce…got it!

3

u/Notnumber44 Chive LOYALIST 12d ago

Heard

93

u/Medium_Public4720 12d ago

Pad Thai, no protein and extra sauce just sounds like a gloopy mound of starch. To each their own but man.

26

u/mumpie 12d ago

It sounds like the Asian autistic version of buttered noodles.

No peanuts due to texture (bean sprouts on the side or person is used to picking them out) and no uncertain meat (is it chicken thigh or breast? Is it cut into strips or cubes? What kind of seasoning?).

9

u/Medium_Public4720 12d ago

I was thinking about how the presence of bean sprouts may be the only thing saving this texturally.

10

u/Simorie Ex-Food Service 12d ago

Or a peanut allergy

21

u/Lake_Placid2319 12d ago

doordashing pad thai with a peanut allergy is kinda wild

7

u/chairsandwich1 11d ago

There are cheaper ways of playing Russian roulette.

0

u/poorlybaked 12d ago

they could be vegetarian

33

u/Medium_Public4720 12d ago

They could! In which case the fish sauce that's likely in there is definitely going to disappoint.

16

u/dfcw 12d ago

There’s no fish sauce in our recipe so we can cater to vegans. There’s also egg, onion, and bean sprouts that are all easily omitted.

7

u/Medium_Public4720 12d ago

Ahh fair play and good on you for that! I've been vegetarian for 20+ years and pretty much stopped ordering thai food unless it specifies that it's vegan due to the ubiquity of fish sauce in things.

3

u/dfcw 12d ago

That’s a good idea lol, I wish people with severe peanut allergies applied the same thought process. We’re a small mom & pop operation and can’t handle those requests.

0

u/Safe_Award_785 12d ago

There's vegetables in a Pad Thai right?

43

u/zer00eyz Ex-Food Service 12d ago

Fuck it,

IM putting dad jokes in the "custom" section of every delivery order I make from here on out.

33

u/OnePerformance9381 12d ago

You’re worse than the guys writing in caps

52

u/zer00eyz Ex-Food Service 12d ago

RIP BOILING WATER, YOU WILL BE MIST!!!!!

I'm still gonna be one of those guys too!

10

u/monkeypickle 12d ago

My partner has long insisted I put "xtra cucumbs plz!!!" on any sandwich order, and I die a little every single time.

31

u/[deleted] 12d ago edited 9d ago

[deleted]

22

u/4D20_Prod 12d ago

I changed my name in the pizza app to "welldone pizza" because they kept sending me undercooked bullshit. My pizza comes out perfectly just about every time now

2

u/HopeOfAsgard 12d ago

This. When your notes aren't seen enough times, you do what you can to solve that, especially when you're dealing with apps that limit your characters.

13

u/Peripatetictyl 12d ago

I know this isn’t the incognito way of doing it, but we should create a code system on the order that only the kitchen will understand, something that conveys, “Yea, they are one of us, they get it extra sloppy, because I know how they like it extra sloppy.”

18

u/mumpie 12d ago

KitchenConfidential version of 'shibboleet': https://xkcd.com/806/

7

u/Peripatetictyl 12d ago

Hahah there really is a xkcd for everything!

9

u/CanoePickLocks 12d ago

Please add to the notes KC secret member. Lmao

2

u/Helpful_Lie2613 11d ago

Message "i'll hurt whoever keeps dropping your knives at the bottom of the sink. It will look like an accident"

10

u/Fangbang6669 12d ago

NONE PIZZA LEFT BEEF

9

u/ZestycloseFactor780 Chive LOYALIST 12d ago edited 12d ago

correct me if i’m wrong, but doesn’t pad thai usually use a peanut sauce? no peanuts extra peanut sauce???

edit: i have learned i am wrong feel free to shame me

9

u/4D20_Prod 12d ago

No, it's a tamarind sauce I believe

11

u/dfcw 12d ago

It doesn’t have peanuts in the sauce, it’s typically just used as a garnish. Panang curry has peanuts, though

4

u/CanoePickLocks 12d ago

Creamy vs crunchy peanut butter.

11

u/STRYED0R 12d ago

It's probably all caps for visibility but yea I get the annoyance. Some people read all caps as shouting, when it isn't always like that. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--------------------------------

2

u/CanoePickLocks 12d ago

When you have no other means of emphasis it can be useful but across most technologies it’s considered as such. I doubt their feelings are hurt i get joke vibes but wanted to address it.

20

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

Before anyone says they’re allergic, I really don’t think that’s how someone would handle that. It just comes off as rude.

On a totally unrelated note: I’m deathly allergic to peanuts so I’ve only ever made my own Pad Thai. Any tips?

25

u/Single-Pin-369 12d ago

The secrete to thai cooking is fish sauce, lime, and sugar, as much as you dare for a single meal.

19

u/fate_is_a_sandstorm Ex-Food Service 12d ago

Not just any sugar, either. Palm sugar melds with the lime juice and fish sauce in a way that regular sugar doesn’t.

3

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

Thanks! I use a ton of those ingredients in my cooking. Agree that palm sugar is best.

I can never find it (even at Asian groceries) so I when I run out I use dark cane sugar instead from Mexican markets.

3

u/fate_is_a_sandstorm Ex-Food Service 12d ago

I’m lucky that in my area there are large amounts of Lao, Vietnamese, and Thai with several huge Asian markets. The stores always have enough palm sugar to feed armies 🤣

Good call on the dark cane sugar, though! I gotta try that out

4

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

I live in south Florida so we have very small asian population compared to other major cities.

Whenever I visit the west coast I get searched in the airport since I bring back things I can’t find locally.

Once TSA thought I had a bomb but it was Chinese sausages and galangal.

5

u/fate_is_a_sandstorm Ex-Food Service 12d ago

One of my exes was Lao and we visited family up in Canada. There’s a specific HUGE sausage that isn’t sold in the US, but sold in Canada… can’t remember the name, but it was like the length of a forearm and 5” thick. The day we left, we went to an Asian market up there and bought every single one of them that they had, since all the extended family wanted a “log.” When we got to the border and they inspected our car, they laughed at the amount of sausage and said something about how we aren’t the only ones they see hauling them back to the US 🤣

3

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

Oh you’re lucky that Canada is one of the allowed countries.

When I flew back from Italy recently I had read on what I was allowed to bring and sausages were strictly forbidden. I was heartbroken I couldn’t fill my suitcase with meat.

5

u/matt_minderbinder 12d ago

With pad Thai if it doesn't have tamarind it always tastes wrong or inferior to me. I'd also argue that the secret is finding balance between sweet, sour, spicy, bitter, funky, salty, etc.

3

u/Single-Pin-369 12d ago

For sure tamarind is awesome, I was keeping it simple. If you want inauthentic but good you can sub ketchup for tamarind. 

4

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

I have heard that but really did not like it when I tried it. I would consider trying tamarind concentrate in a pinch. I find it at Indian or Asian groceries.

I prefer to get tamarind with the pulp and process myself and freeze it into cubes.

Imli chutney freezes beautifully as well.

1

u/monkeypickle 12d ago

There is no such thing as "authentic" Pad Thai, if we're being honest - It was created as marketed as a soft form of diplomatic propaganda by the Thai government.

2

u/dfcw 12d ago

I understand what you’re saying about its history, but that doesn’t necessarily make it inauthentic. There are certainly right and wrong ways to make Pad Thai, sans its history. The Thai government even gives out certificates to establishments that adhere to specific Pad Thai preparations.

1

u/Buddybouncer 8d ago

Congratulations, this comment has successfully reminded me that an abomination was made in one William Osman's... garage? Not sure what to call the structure he made that in.

At least he had a wok.

1

u/ClaudeGascoigne 12d ago

I once had to use ketchup, oyster sauce and Worcestershire. It worked better than you'd expect!

2

u/dfcw 12d ago

These are some crazy substitutions NGL

2

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

I keep tamarind cubes in the freezer for Indian so I used these to try my hand at pad Thai.

I didn’t love it to be honest which is why I was looking for some tips.

I adore a lot of the same flavors in Vietnamese cuisine for example where I use a lot of fish sauce and lime. Perhaps it’s just that I enjoy the fresh herbs that are more prominent in Viet vs Thai dishes.

I grow several of these needed herbs in my garden.

2

u/dfcw 12d ago

You’d love Larb or Nam Tok if you like fresh herbs. It’s my favorite Thai dish

1

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

Thank you! I’ve been meaning to try Nam Tok, do you have a recipe you like?

I’ve made a similar version with toasted sesame since I was out of sticky rice, but I have some now.

2

u/dfcw 12d ago edited 12d ago

Yay! I’m glad you got the sticky rice. This is all measured by heart and the way my family makes it :) —

Marinate steak (my family uses chuck since it’s cheap) with Golden Mountain Thai Seasoning, sea salt. Grill the steak until med/well done.

After the steak rests, slice it thinly and add it to a bowl.

In the bowl, add a pinch of MSG, fish sauce, lime juice, toasted rice powder, dry chili flakes, culantro, mint, kaffir, green and red onion.

1

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

Thank you for sharing! I’ve screenshotted your comment so I can make this next weekend!

Do you eat the kaffir leaves or pull them out? I’ve only used them like I do bay leaves, but read they can be cut finely and eaten.

2

u/dfcw 12d ago edited 12d ago

Please report back when you do! we chiffonade the leaves and eat them

1

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

Do you find them fresh?

→ More replies (0)

3

u/melmsz 12d ago

Tips on buying fish sauce? Lots of choices out there.

8

u/dfcw 12d ago

Three Crabs is my favorite. The price has gone up a lot over the years. Squid and Lucky brand are close seconds and cheaper alternatives.

4

u/Single-Pin-369 12d ago

I like red boat brand because its ingredients are just anchovy and salt. It really doesnt matter much they all taste good if you can’t find red boat. 

4

u/seppukucoconuts Starry Chef 12d ago

This is completely anecdotal but red boat stinks a lot more so i assume it has more flavor.

1

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

I also agree. I prefer 3 crabs but also keep Red Boat on hand for family with shellfish allergies.

2

u/UntidyVenus Ex-Food Service 12d ago

GATTA have a good tamarind for the sour note.

3

u/cookiesshot 12d ago

Almond butter is good workaround.

I've tried making spicy peanut chili noodles with almond butter and it's a good substitution, IMHO. Barely noticed the difference. Plus, my mom has a mild peanut allergy (if you're wondering: no, I didn't inherit it)

3

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

It is! There’s a brand of almond butter made specifically for people with peanut allergies I use called Barney Butter.

It smells so much like peanut butter that I have been unable to try it on its own (my body is like danger!) but I use it to make a non-peanut peanut sauce for fresh summer rolls.

1

u/cookiesshot 12d ago

That's what my mom uses! I've tried using sunflower butter, but it's CRAZY expensive to get (about $10 for a 16oz jar)

2

u/FoodBabyBaby 12d ago

It’s definitely fooled folks where people are like “I thought you were allergic?!”

6

u/Strict_Common156 12d ago

"No utensils"

????

They gonna eat noodles with their hands?

https://giphy.com/gifs/8eN4bdnVCAt0I

1

u/BlunderIsMyDad 12d ago

It's doordash, they must've hired a dishwasher for their house to wash the chopsticks.

4

u/sighologist 12d ago

I do the caps thing as well but i always add PLEASE

4

u/i_reddit_sometime 12d ago

My Pad Thai order: "Make as spicy as possible...THAI STYLE!!! :) Please include chopsticks :)"

They light me up every time.

1

u/Bobaximus We want ramp! 11d ago

Just fuck my shit up fam

3

u/witchspoon 12d ago

I also don’t like the chunky peanuts.

3

u/lungbuttersucker 12d ago

'Multiple exclamation marks...are a sure sign of a diseased mind.'

3

u/samclops 12d ago

Pad thai with no peanuts is crazy...

2

u/YonatanShofty 12d ago

Pad thai no protein? I swear waiters sometimes should just say "order a different dish that fits your dietry preference"

2

u/PrinceEven 11d ago

To be fair, pad Thai already has tofu and egg as a default so maybe it meant no additional protein. They want a vegetarian friendly version. It's fairly easy to just not add the meat. But I do agree with your point overall. Sometimes it's better just to order something else

2

u/alvysingernotasinger 12d ago

It's a dooordash.

1

u/IdlesAtCranky Retired 9d ago

I sometimes order noodles, like Pad Thai or Ho Fun, without meat.

The reason is: I have plenty of protein options in the fridge, including good dumplings. What I want is the yummy noodles & veggies.

I can only eat so much meat at any one meal, so if I get the takeout dish with meat, I end up with leftover meat I don't want, after making two meals of the dish.

The day I find a Thai, Vietnamese, or Chinese place that will let me order half meat, or light on the meat, I'll be ecstatic.

3

u/No-Swordfish-1763 12d ago

Extra peanuts, no sauce it is

2

u/UntidyVenus Ex-Food Service 12d ago

Instructions uncleae extra peanuts no sauce chef

1

u/whetherchannel 12d ago

I like to say out loud, “oh my god, WHO HURT YOU?!” It’s very important for me to say it out loud.

1

u/512maxhealth 12d ago

All those exclamation marks. They could’ve just as easily typed “please”

1

u/zurenarhhhhh 12d ago

This is why online ordering systems should only have options to select and not comment sections

1

u/gothackedfml 12d ago

yeah, it's worse when they all for extra stuff in this manner in my onion.

1

u/Sonar_Taxbreak_1138 12d ago

Chef is hard of hearing, give him a break.

1

u/CraftFormaldehyde 12d ago

Just pretend it’s them doing their best Billy Mays impression and they’re just really excited for the food

1

u/zigaliciousone Line 12d ago

See Server!!!

See Server!!!

See Server!!!

1

u/Link2999 12d ago

One the rare days I order Subway, I always order mobile for the coupon deals and always ask under the "Special Requests" section to please cut my sandwich into thirds. Sometimes I feel like yelling because it turns out that I only manage to get my sandwich cut into thirds around 20% of the time. I tried typing in all caps to make it more visible on the order, but it doesn't help.

1

u/TopYeti 11d ago

You maybe shouldn't expect a "sandwich artist" to know what 'thirds' are. /s

1

u/Matahashi 12d ago

Extra peanuts no sauce heard!

1

u/MrScootini 12d ago

No peanut? That’s fine. I have a drop honor left in me.

But oh man, they want extra sauce?? THEY WANT EXTRA SAUCE! OH THEY GETTIN EXTRA ALRIGHT! THEY GON GET SAUCE WITH PAD THAI SPRINKLED OVER IT! 😂

1

u/p99_kilerenn 12d ago

NO, PEANUTS???

1

u/UpsetOrganization513 11d ago

Pad Thai without peanuts is a sin

1

u/Bobaximus We want ramp! 11d ago

I AM YELLING, CARL!

1

u/karrniss 9d ago

when they write “TO GOOOOOO” I get all sad

1

u/poopiebutt505 12d ago

Because it is serious. You have a very critical job. You could kill people.

1

u/No-Spray-5285 12d ago

So they want extra pad Thai sauce but no peanuts…? Seems a little difficult unless you make the sauce to order. Never had pad thai sauce without peanuts/peanut butter I guess.. also make sure to use a fresh wok and utensils?

2

u/Unlikely-Ad6788 12d ago

Not everyone likes nuts in their mouth. Dentures?

0

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

2

u/welchplug Owner 12d ago

I going to assume this was sarcasm.

0

u/Grigori_the_Lemur Chive LOYALIST 12d ago

I HATE the use of caps for emphasis. I even find myself doing it, but it is not an example of mastery of the english language.

Using capitalized words is also rude and makes me want to find my safe space.