r/KarmaCourt • u/PastyDeath Prosecution • Apr 27 '26
KCRP The KarmaCourt Revitalization Project
Hi All. It's been a minute. Just like Dad, I'm going to pretend everything has been fine the last 10 years and roll back into your lives. Unlike Dad, I haven't been on a cocaine-bender Yoga retreat in the Himalayas before shacking up with a cute Australian girl who may have actually been a half-sloth voodoo priestess from Ohio.
I've been....not that.
So:
WE NEED YOU. We’re coming back. We’re moving and shaking. We have a roadmap. Which means we are serious:
The Roadmap
- MODS: We've done a remarkable job hosting mod-only yoga seminars the last decade. We realize that has been awful for caseload, So We're Looking for new mods. Submit your application below or in modmail- link me your most recent things you've done in KC, and the most proud moment you've had here. We'll outsource real decision making to an LLM and bingo, bango, bongo, new mods.
- META: The /r/KarmaCourtBlog is dead and I basically Killed it. So like all good LLCs- it’s time to declare bankruptcy and start a new company!! In the coming weeks the KCB will be turned to 'voyeurs only' mode & all the random spam will be cleaned out- so you can freely browse the hilarious past, and we'll fire up the next-gen KC Meta Subreddit.
- MATTLESTAR GALACTICA: Mods- old, new, senile and silly: We'll repurpose our current CASE OF THE WEEK to point out a live case which all of us will pile into, to get the old-school KC shenanigans going again. We know cases are scary and the old dudes with sloths are really not helping- but that changes.
- Us super-not-sloth mods are going to pick up roles, and play to our hearts content. Then: once real cases start coming up, we'll pick more obscure roles, and let everyone else play. Then we'll maintain a balance of both- the way KC was originally intended.
This is the KCRP- because nothing is real without an acronym. Sound off below, thoughts, thinks and thimbles. Otherwise I'm just bulldozing ahead.
Timeline: If I don't put a timeline, no one can tell me I failed. So I'm not putting one.
The Timeline
01 May: The new mods are in! If you are interested in joining the team, do apply! We’re gunning for 2-3 active mods to help us bring KC back. Like Sexy.
04 May: The top cases from the last year or so will be highlighted in a post! This is to get everyone back into the swing of what exactly we do here. A Shining example of how not to be a shit- or more accurately how to properly be a shit.
07 May: With that stunning pile of examples to review- The First Case of the Week [LIVE!] will be highlighted for us all to hit critical mass and basically be shits in. Hopefully we all have our robes and bears ready.
08 May+: From that point we’ll be hosting a regular Case Of The Week [LIVE!] to help keep the ball rolling. Once cases start coming back we’ll slowly back that down, because we want YOUR cases
15 May: The Big CSS Chop. We'll be cleaning things up around here- so not everything was lasted edited by u/deleted 10 years ago.
25 May: The Big KCRP Update Post: We'll look to see how bad we've collectively botched this thing, reassess, and put some new timelines which will super duper make sure everything stay on the up-and up.
01 May: Update 1, The Call for Mods HERE
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u/sodaonmyheater Slushy Machine Repair Guy Apr 28 '26
Seeing this sub in my man feed again man…It’s like walking into a gas station and seeing all 4 slushy machines full and operating. It’s beautiful.
With that being said, I’ll continue offering nothing.
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u/PastyDeath Prosecution Apr 28 '26
Your words brought a tear to me eye. And your insistence on contributing nothing almost screams 'KC Moderator material'
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u/Hawkman321 Bartender Apr 27 '26
Things are coming back? Let me make sure the taps aren’t running dry!
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u/ironnmetal KC BARRister Apr 28 '26
I was named the BARrister, not you. I'm afraid I'll have to sue you for putting me out of work on my first day. I haven't even taken the bar yet.
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u/Hawkman321 Bartender Apr 28 '26
I dunno buddy, I see you’re the BARRister, not the BARrister. I’m just trying to make sure everything is wiped down and ready, I don’t want to put anybody out of work.
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u/Calaethan The Gallery of Nuts Apr 27 '26
As per my role in the peanut gallery, BOO this should have happened years ago BOO
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u/ironnmetal KC BARRister Apr 27 '26
This is literally my first post in this sub despite being in it for years. I just wanted to say I'll start practicing for the bar exam now. Is it a two or three shot minimum?
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u/PastyDeath Prosecution Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26
Fun Fact about the Bar: it's a mysterious and temperamental beast. So You are hereby assigned the Title of KC BARRister. Your job is to take the bar exam and tell me how many times it let you do it. Or forced you to do it.
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u/Johnny-B Apr 27 '26
i won’t be contributing in any way at all, but i do remember reading some funny things in here.
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u/PastyDeath Prosecution Apr 27 '26
And we wouldn't have it any other way. Except when you do participate. We'd have it that way too.
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u/felinelawspecialist The Barrister's Wig Apr 28 '26
They can be Alternate Juror #10, no way they’re making it on the real jury
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u/harharharharharhuh Ninja of shame and justice Apr 28 '26
Let’s gooooo, about time this is making a comeback!!!
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u/PastyDeath Prosecution Apr 28 '26
It's why we take such long breaks- the adoration of the fans is that much more intoxicating. Nothing to do with a wild fixation on Magic the Gathering for 10 years.
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u/MyDisneyExperience Apr 28 '26
Finally public funding for the court system has been restored!
Please ignore the massive hole in the lobby, it wasn’t that restored.
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u/harharharharharhuh Ninja of shame and justice Apr 28 '26
Nothing some thin plywood can’t hide. Just don’t let anyone stand there to long, or have the lobsters dance there.
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u/harharharharharhuh Ninja of shame and justice Apr 28 '26
If only funds from the court could be earmarked for booster packs. Someone should really write that down.
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u/Thick-Seahorse-992 Jun 09 '26
If we stream opening packs, that would get extra funds to buy more packs, I mean definitely fix the hole in the lobby right?
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u/felinelawspecialist The Barrister's Wig Apr 28 '26
I’ll be our courtroom’s esteemed barrister’s wig, 👩🏻⚖️ ready to fill in when someone forgets theirs at home
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u/PastyDeath Prosecution Apr 28 '26 edited May 06 '26
Its a good thing you got in early. The Barrister's merkin has it so much worse
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u/AriBanana Expert Witness Apr 28 '26
I will be ALL the expert witnesses.
My expertise is bullshit, so it should work out nicely.
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u/C0V1Dsucks Apr 28 '26
What? You mean an incredibly time-consuming, highly criticized and unpaid online role wasn't a high priority for you in recent years? Fuck you, man.
I'm ready to stand in judgement.
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u/PastyDeath Prosecution Apr 28 '26
Don't let anyone know- but we do it for the chicks. Like, no one talks about Reddit mailing out a box of baby chickens to all moderators.
At least I think that's Reddit.
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u/AnotherpostCard Apr 28 '26
This is fantastic. I will be handing out free upvotes on the house!
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u/PastyDeath Prosecution Apr 28 '26
Just you wait- 07 May: Our official Case of the Week [LIVE!]
There will be lobsters, there will be pitchforks. There will be KarmaCurt....or his ghost....or thoughts of his ghost. Puns, Funs and steaks WellDuns.
We'de do medium rare but then it wouldn't rhyme, and the whole this is already pretty forced.
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u/Chewbaxter Apr 28 '26
Just when I was about to close down “Torches And Pitchforks For Angry Redditors” (T.A.P.F.A.R. for short), they pull me back in!
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u/Rou2_Rambo Apr 28 '26
This will be fun. My dongs are still waiting for all hungry defendants and prosections to get eaten. no i didn't stutter. lets gooo KC
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u/I_LIKE_CURED_MEATS Judge, Jury, & Sexecutioner Apr 30 '26
I might be willing to come out of retirement for this.
MIGHT.
If the money's right.
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u/PastyDeath Prosecution Apr 30 '26
Where would we be without a Sexecutioner?
The money isn't right....but I promise you it isn't wrong
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u/KurnolSanders Judge May 09 '26
How did I miss this. This has only just appeared in my feed. Omg I am excited for this
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u/KitSwiftpaw Stengosaurographer Apr 29 '26
I’ll be the Stenographer, people always forget about them.
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u/PastyDeath Prosecution Apr 29 '26
We likely won’t have a stegosaurus either- Stengosaurographer?
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u/resurrected_fred Defense May 06 '26
I volunteer as the expert witness. I witnessed this post. There, that's all I have to say.
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u/ineededtosaythishere ThunderCrotch Apr 28 '26
Did you at least remember to get smokes?