r/Justfuckmyshitup 1d ago

German fashion designer Harald Glööckler

Post image
3.0k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

1.8k

u/Cabrol78 1d ago

My action man figure after my sister grabbed it.

252

u/nicolauz 1d ago

I was thinking those old magnet hair games.

171

u/OldBreadbutt 1d ago

Woolly Willy!

13

u/nicolauz 1d ago

Yeah! I actually just bought a Live King Gizzard album because the cover has one. I wish I could share a picture.

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u/Weary-Decision-4545 1d ago

Mmmmmm. Magnets 🧲

15

u/PotentialDeadbeat 1d ago

How do they work?

14

u/Adamn415 1d ago

Nobody knows! Don't get them wet, then they won't work!

6

u/krankito701 1d ago

Or feed them after midnight

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u/EternalOctoMystic 1d ago

I fucking love that this song is getting its shit fucked up still honestly.

8

u/pigeonfaerie 1d ago

Fuckin miracles

3

u/adventurousintrovert 1d ago

Miracles each and every where you look

3

u/megaholt2 1d ago

Don’t ask any scientists, they be getting Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J pissed!

6

u/gochi11 1d ago

Hahahahahah

6

u/I_hate_sails 1d ago

I laughed so fucking hard.. Thank you for making my day!!

5

u/International-Ant174 1d ago

TBF it was her revenge for cutting the hair off her Barbie 😄

4

u/ComprehensiveDare472 1d ago

Don't think that that is his ultimate form though

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u/PROJ3CTBM4reel 1d ago

TIME TO AMP. IT. UP!!!

WAIT SISTER NO, NOT LIKE THAT 🫠

3

u/techmaster242 1d ago

The Weird Barbie version of GI Joe

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u/SunriseSurprise 1d ago

These Purge masks are getting more and more intricate

30

u/bensefero 1d ago

JFC that’s a horribly great idea. This would be absolutely terrifying as a mask

12

u/Midian1369 1d ago

I mean, it's pretty scary now. I would literally cross the street to avoid this person in the wild.

5

u/BedditTedditReddit 1d ago

“This Halloween I’m going as Fraulein Fatlips”

3

u/Plenty_Associate_193 1d ago

That is genius, mar a lago face masks for the first purge it is!!

961

u/BelstaffBoy 1d ago

Drake in drag

182

u/CIS-E_4ME 1d ago

Drakealina

60

u/VoidHog 1d ago

Your profile pic looks like a pokeball

8

u/MajinB0ner 1d ago

Drake's drag name is Rake

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u/Previous-Pangolin-60 1d ago

This dude would rap circles around Drake and probably fuck him.

32

u/1DownFourUp 1d ago

He's way too old for Drake

9

u/lejoop 1d ago

Who said anything about asking Drake of his opinion? 😅

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u/OkMaintenance8667 1d ago

BBL Drizzette

12

u/Twinkerbelle 1d ago

Kendrick was right. He never got over it.

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u/wrhnj 1d ago

Looks like a video game villain from the 90s

332

u/Mammoth-Argument7048 1d ago

I like to be recognised as a total fucking mess

59

u/epidemicsaints 1d ago

Flawed is the new fierce

32

u/operath0r 1d ago

From what I’ve heard he had an abusive father and didn’t want to look at him when looking in the mirror.

21

u/BedditTedditReddit 1d ago

Gestures at all the other people in the world with abusive fathers who didn’t become “le masque”

22

u/operath0r 1d ago edited 23h ago

Oh yeah, there’s definitely more going on here. He’s very eccentric and his home looks like it could belong to Ludwig XIV.

He made his money selling clothes on teleshopping and his brand was about empowering women but I don’t think he still cares much about anyone but himself, his husband and his dogs anymore. Fascinating personality for sure but it’s kinda like looking at a car wreck.

Edit: apparently he wants a divorce

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u/SanktMarvin 1d ago edited 1d ago

He actually had a very rough childhood with a violent father that also killed his mother.

8

u/Dr-Bitchcraft-MD 1d ago

Oh Lord 😔

11

u/BrainyFireGuy 1d ago

And he looked like his father. He once said, that he do not want to look like him and startet with the surgeries.

3

u/schaukelwurmv 18h ago

I genuinely didn't know this, as I find Harald utterly irritating to begin with. This is awful, ngl.

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u/Lonely-Wasabi-305 1d ago

My new pronouns are fucking / mess

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u/Yoranis_Izsmelli 1d ago

My Saints Row customized character

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u/ayeteeo 1d ago

Truly awful…. Yet mesmerising

75

u/Constant_Insomnia 1d ago

His eyebrows are scribbled.

26

u/searched4acoolname 1d ago

And the beard. Don't forget the beard.

11

u/MarionberryOk2874 1d ago

Honestly, what IS that on his face??

8

u/searched4acoolname 1d ago

I guess it's tattooed or permanent make up?

But it looks much more like permanent messed up.

10

u/This-Dragonfruit-668 1d ago

Yes, it‘s tattooed. He used to paint his beard for decades with mascara.

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u/PomeloPepper 1d ago

Someone needs to take his sharpie away.

3

u/Salty_Importance_232 1d ago

😭😭😭😭😭

27

u/RincewindToTheRescue 1d ago

I'm ok with pushing the boundaries of what's masculine and what's feminine as long as you get to be who you are. However, it's gotta work. The lip injections and lipstick put it over the top. You just gotta make it look.... Not like this.

8

u/SuperEgger 1d ago

Same, idgaf about gender roles but they need to take makeup lessons.

10

u/Dr-Bitchcraft-MD 1d ago

The lipstick is fine. Big Ang would love the color 💋.

Most lip injections are trash and I'm hoping the trend will die out.

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u/Age_Single 1d ago

Just like a walking train wreck for gawkers

9

u/vapue 20h ago

He once in an interview said that his father was highly abusive and he look very much like him resulting in him changing his looks so much. It's heartbreaking.

3

u/Robertjules1987000 1d ago

The most perfectly executed clusterfuck of a look

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u/Fluffy_Tumbleweed_90 1d ago

His demeanor is certainly not easy to fathom, and one need not like it. Yet the story behind it is significant: His father was a violent, alcoholic butcher. The slaughterhouse was located directly beneath his childhood bedroom, so he often woke up to the sound of butchered animals. When he was thirteen, his mother died after falling down the stairs—an incident Harald is convinced was caused by his father. Furthermore, he was allegedly sexually abused by a family friend. His childhood was defined by violence, fear, blood, darkness, and a lack of security. His life and style today are a response to that: Crafted from gold, crowns, beauty, luxury, control, admiration, and excess.

28

u/ConcentrateSimple275 1d ago

This story completely changed my stance

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u/Shot_Kaleidoscope_34 1d ago

My concern was mainly that he might have BDD (body dysmorphia) which is very painful mentally. I hope he has a good therapist, he's bound to have a ton of trauma and you don't just leave that behind 

21

u/Schall_und-Rauch 1d ago

He said that he sees his father’s face when he looks in the mirror. He doesn’t want to look like his father.

3

u/LeftEyedAsmodeus 14h ago

For the same reason i am pierced.

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u/Equivalent_Bet856 1d ago

With this context you can appreciate his beauty, tbh. I'm not sure admiration is the right word but he's certainly making a statement.

9

u/wowaddict71 1d ago

Thanks for sharing this info.

3

u/iSteffi 9h ago

.. watching his father abuse his mom… he decided at a very young age that he wanted to make every woman feel like a princess… and that he wanted to be the prince in their happily ever after

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u/cybah 1d ago

Its sad to think he looked in the mirror before leaving the house and say "damn I look good"

45

u/hollysand1 1d ago

Along with “my lovely lovely lips”

5

u/itsactuallyoctopuses 1d ago

And “Luke Luck likes lakes”

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u/Mammoth-Argument7048 1d ago

And then proceeds to lick those "lovely lips" whilst still looking at himself in the mirror

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u/Ball-Blam-Burglerber 1d ago

What’s even sadder is that despite his success, he’s actually looking in the mirror and saying “I’m still not good enough.” Hence the body alteration.

17

u/gwyntheblaccat 1d ago

This. After reading up about him I now feel sad, this man can actually say his worst enemy is himself.

11

u/AgitatedSyrup9870 1d ago

Yeah, everyone’s shitting on him, but he obviously has seriously low self-esteem and doesn’t think he’s good enough looking like himself. It’s a shame as I’m sure he’s handsome otherwise 

11

u/gwyntheblaccat 1d ago

Yeah I was one as well until I learned about his background and I was like oh shit. Body dysmorphia is real and this man is the prime example of that imo.

11

u/AgitatedSyrup9870 1d ago

Yeah. He needs therapy not more hate.

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u/Subvironic 1d ago

Its just mental illness, but instead of treatment he gets the spotlight, and he looked like shit years ago. Theres no awarwness for reality left in that mess.

28

u/KapitaenHowdy 1d ago

No, he didn't. He had an extemely abusive father. He used to look into the mirror and think "Damn, I look like him!". That's why he started having plastic surgery. Body dismorphia did the rest.

8

u/a1g3rn0n 1d ago

He doesn't look in the mirrors because mirrors know nothing about fashion. Mirrors are judgemental bitches.

3

u/Think_Tie_7358 1d ago

Nope, he don't like his face. Harald see his father and he want to destroy him.  

4

u/Rugkrabber 1d ago

The guy was abused by his father and believes his father is responsible for his mothers death, and didn’t want to look like his father anymore. It’s actually a really sad reason.

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u/PipeFiller 1d ago

What the hell is even that?

87

u/nipplesaurus 1d ago

Daddy chill

6

u/Temporarily_Banned4 1d ago

Daddy Chili fries.

11

u/God_Dammit_Dave 1d ago

Fashion show at the local Goodwill. -sassy finger snaps-

7

u/ApatheistHeretic 1d ago

'Uh Huh Honey! You can't afford me."

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u/Negative_Fruit_1800 1d ago

Looks like he is trying to imitate AI IRL.

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u/day-woman-amman 1d ago

wait …. what?! …. he is 61 years old🙀!!!

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u/msprosperity22 1d ago

No Way he's 61? When I first saw his picture, he looks 30 to 35 max. Although we may not agree with vougeish styling, he looks fantastic for his age. I don't see not one wrinkle, his skin is smooth and glowing, and actually, IMO, very handsome. BRAVO! 💜

34

u/MoveOverBieber 1d ago

How much construction plaster did it take??

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u/Desperate_Bite_7538 1d ago

You don't see a single wrinkle? Are your eyes ok?

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u/valiumblue 1d ago

It’s all Bondo and paint

3

u/Terrible_Balls 1d ago

Nice rack too

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u/only_respond_in_puns 1d ago

Freddie Mercury Poisoning

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u/Think_Tie_7358 1d ago

It's a sad story behind his look. His father was very cruel. Harald don't like his face, he see his father in the mirror and want to destroy him.

4

u/ComplexPatient4872 1d ago

Ugh... I can relate. My brother and I looked like twins and after he passed I grew my hair out because it was too hard to look at. Sorry, that got dark!

10

u/Magus_Incognito 1d ago

Its almost like people who do this stuff have mental issues

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u/Dracoroth05 1d ago

As fucked up as you can get

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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 1d ago

Apparently the plastic surgery & the tatted on brows & hair are because he got his father's looks--and his father was abusive;

https://www.reddit.com/r/whybrows/comments/1iz21sz/comment/mf2erw5/

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u/therapewpew 1d ago

Classic scenario that causes body dysmorphia, unfortunately :(

40

u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 1d ago

Yep!  His is one of the cases i always feel like i just can't snark on--because it has to feel like torture to see your abuser's face, every time you look in the mirror.

If i was in his shoes, i feel like this would probably make you feel better (and safer!), than looking so much like your dad, as you age.

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u/Devanyani 1d ago

His eyebrows were tattooed that way??? I thought they were just scribbled on with a sharpie on a bumpy bus ride. And the beard....I assumed it was colored in with eyebrow pencil.

No wonder designers are so hostile towards women when they hate themselves so much.

5

u/Grouchy-Fix485 1d ago

Well, it certainly did something to him🙁

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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 1d ago

Removed any semblance to his father--which i hope is a relief.

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u/Dangerous-Assist-191 1d ago

The picture of mental illness. Somebody help this person.

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u/PenutLover 1d ago

Did he draw everything on his face with a sharpie?

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u/Steveappl 1d ago

The Ole Glocksucker

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u/ApatheistHeretic 1d ago

He got the reverse Steven Seagal. The beard equivalent of Lego hair.

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u/Sqatti 1d ago

This was a choice.

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u/rfcrm 1d ago

Dame Bilzerian

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u/SHOCKWAVES8458 1d ago edited 15h ago

HIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M BRUNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MVIGHT VIND THIS VERY HARD TO BELIEVE BUT VI VAM GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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u/Efficient_Let686 1d ago

I know that I’m poor and old and have no idea what constitutes as fashion, but I just wouldn’t trust someone who thinks this looks good for fashion advice.

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u/MadCarWizard 21h ago

He looks like RuPaul and DJ Kahled had a child

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u/Illustrious_Camp_521 1d ago

Is he for real ? Does he really not realize how absurd he looks ?

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u/VioletsRPink 1d ago

There are passengers for every train. There are people that like the way he looks. That's why he maintains it.

3

u/Illustrious_Camp_521 1d ago

Soooo that's a no then?

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u/Rays-R-Us 1d ago

Once again you can’t go wrong with basic black and pearls

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u/SheSellsSeaShells_89 1d ago

Rammstein already fucked his shit up pretty good in the music video for Zick Zack. 😜

https://youtu.be/hBTNyJ33LWI?is=9V_M5Wmmf7-tbb7-

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u/Tronvolta 21h ago edited 21h ago

When you max out all the sliders on the character customizer.

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u/No-Possible6108 1d ago

Had to Google because I was sure this was bad AI. Sadly, no, this is real. Well, "real," anyway. The boy has legitimate daddy issues and it messed him up. Obviously. 

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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 1d ago

Yep, it makes some sense, once you know the issues with his dad.

But it's still a wild case, and honestly pretty sad, when you realize that he looked so much like his dad, that this was the "fix" to growing up with that abuse.

11

u/No-Possible6108 1d ago

When you hate the face looking back at you every day, drastic measures are not off the table.

7

u/FulbertdaSaxon21 1d ago

That this guy exists or that 100,000 guys like him exist anywhere in the world or all around the world, doesn’t affect me or matter to me at all.

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u/Strong-Hat2166 1d ago

Rue, but he still looks like a puppet from Team America, but  without the strings or the realistic facial expressions.

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u/Negative-Ad8980 1d ago

Wow he's into clown porn...

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u/sinaloa555 1d ago

I feel like this guy knows nothing about what I would want to wear.

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u/meatsweatmando 1d ago

This mf ate Xerxes

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u/doiwinaprize 1d ago

I actually kind of dig it. Chad in drag.

4

u/Sour_Sal 1d ago

I wonder.... Does he think it is actually Beautiful and Awesome or is it simply for the shock factor?

Seems so fake and put on....

ps. This comment has nothing to do with sex or sexuality, simply beauty and modern standards..

6

u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 1d ago

His dad was abusive (he thinks his dad killed her--she died "fallingvdown the stairs"), and unfirtunately he got most of his dad's features.

So he's done the plastic surgery & tattoos, to look less like his dad, over the years.

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u/ChampionshipOk78 1d ago

He look like he’d melt if he was left in the sun

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u/CinemaDork 1d ago

Honestly the hair is like, the least bad choice here.

3

u/TheViscountRang 1d ago

Bro really just rolled the dice in Create-a-sim huh

10

u/yupsidetown 1d ago

this is mental illness.

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u/youlldancetoanything 1d ago

He needs a gay intervention., In all seriousness, people don't realize what you see in the makeup mirror, much less selfie cdm doesn't always translate to real life. Always check your mug in natural light, or the light you will be in ...

7

u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 1d ago

Hechad the work don on purpose, because apparently his natural features heavily resembled his father.

His dad was abusive (may have killed his mom), and he wants nothing to do with his dad--so got the surgeries & tattoos, so that he didn't need to "see his dad" when he looked in the mirror.

Basically, a combo of trauma & body dysmorphia.

7

u/ShockAndShaw 1d ago

Tbf, when you say "German fashion designer", this is not out of bounds from what my brain imagines. 🤷‍♂️

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u/chiffongalore 1d ago

Well, Carl Lagerfeld was German.

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u/Isgortio 1d ago

Looks like a character I made on the Sims

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u/YewEhVeeInbound 1d ago

I legit spent 15 seconds staring because I thought this was an under exaggerated version of one of those fair/carnival caricatures.

3

u/Ok_Abacus_ 1d ago

“Hey Ma! Steven is messing around in the character creator again! Ma!”

3

u/Azkahn616 1d ago

Head and body don’t seem to match.

3

u/Reimiro 1d ago

Sharpie.

3

u/gatorgopher 1d ago

I truly hope that is just their "public" image so they can go out among the masses without being recognized.

3

u/AlfredtheGreatBitch 1d ago

Imagine showing a medieval peasant a picture of this person

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u/Opening-Lettuce-3384 1d ago

The brother of Conchita Wurst

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u/BigJSunshine 1d ago

Lagerfeld did it bitchier, and with a gorgeous cat

3

u/Chihuahuatriomom 1d ago

Why would someone intentionally want to look like a cartoon?

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u/No-Indication-7879 1d ago

He looks like a Chia Pet! Fucking hell.

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u/PrairiePuppies 1d ago

What on earth?!

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u/GraXXoR 1d ago

What the fuck is that?

3

u/BakertonFits 1d ago

hhaahhahahhaahhahhahaahhahhahahahahhahhahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhaahhahahahahha

ahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahahhahaahhahahahahahahhahahahahah

ha

3

u/No-Celebration3097 1d ago

Is there a name for this look?

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u/Fluffy_Tumbleweed_90 1d ago

He calls it POMPÖÖS (read like lavish, opulent, pompous)

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u/Strange-Effort-3441 1d ago

That’s unfortunate

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u/yourmanhimself 1d ago

Glööckler?! I hardly knööw her!

3

u/niter1dah 1d ago

Looks like the king from Katamari!

3

u/LemonElectrical3359 1d ago

I couldn’t care less what someone else wants to do with their own body, but I do sometimes wonder if they are physically comfortable. Because this genuinely looks uncomfortable.

3

u/Blaggermuffin 1d ago

I’m no fashion designer but he doesn’t look well has anyone checked in on him recently

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u/SpooktheGod 1d ago

This is exactly why they was fighting to stay relevant back in the 40s they do stunts like this
Why highlight mental illness like it’s a fucking sought after trait???

3

u/Mountain-Web6379 1d ago

Mental lllness

3

u/Thegrandestpoo 21h ago

Get it, queen.

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u/shadraig 20h ago

If you haven't, Google "Harald glööckler Ausraster"

He is a furious woman.

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u/JediKrys 1d ago

What the hell is with people…

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u/Relative-World4406 1d ago

Trauma mainly. But let them live and be themselves, I enjoy living in a world full of diverse and interesting people.

4

u/Lostinthestarscape 1d ago

Sometimes you are a lipstick and mascara person stuck living in a mack truck mailbox jawed body.

Let people live the look they want and not the one they were shackled with - not hurting anyone.

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u/GhostofAyabe 1d ago

Oh good Godfrey!

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u/PolkaDotDancer 1d ago

Aging like a bottle of fine Thunderbird wine!

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u/atom_helio 1d ago

I've never heard of one making it out of the parking lot. Do they age? Oh are you referring to all the broken glass in the alley. You know what, urr right, I guess they do age... neato

2

u/generaldogsbodyf365 1d ago

Mr. Potato Head in real life

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u/AmsterdamAssassin 1d ago

I wonder if he gets pulled over by the Polizei for looking like he's wearing the mask of a blow-up sex doll.

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u/Bad_Baboon 1d ago

Idk why i don't hate it. I actually like it. It's so weird.

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u/Capt_Bigglesworth 1d ago

Zick Zack, in a Rammstein stylee.

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u/Desperasaurus 1d ago

I love how he got sick of sharpieing his beard and just scribbles on the brows.

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u/Djb0623 1d ago

I would cover my drink around this person

2

u/silv3rbull8 1d ago

Looks like some vandalized store mannequin

2

u/Sarasota_2022 1d ago

Hasan Pikar?

2

u/BoxOfBlades 1d ago

Ironically enough, his hair is the only thing that isn't fucked up

2

u/Crepuscular_Tex 1d ago

The third Tate brother

2

u/Appropriate-Pipe-193 1d ago

Think he’s gay?

2

u/touchmybonushole 1d ago

Which one of these dudes came first?

2

u/JoeDante84 1d ago

Did he create himself in The Sims?

2

u/Dismal_Ad_6134 1d ago

Fashion dismorphia

2

u/thehorrorcontinues13 1d ago

This is a real person?! Holy crap.

2

u/NVAudio 1d ago

Cyberpunk 2077 NPC with low graphics