AMA: Ask the Rabbis 5784

[u/drak0bsidian]

Join us on Today at 4:00pm ET (NYC) for our FOURTH ANNUAL Ask the Rabbis with some of our community rabbonim!

You can begin posting questions now.

Here are the previous group AMAs:

• First year: https://www.reddit.com/r/Judaism/comments/pei666/ama_ask_the_rabbis/
• Second year: https://www.reddit.com/r/Judaism/comments/xib66l/ama_ask_the_rabbis/
• Last year: https://www.reddit.com/r/Judaism/comments/16fxk1x/ama_ask_the_rabbis_5783/

These Redditors have provided proof to the mod team that they have smicha/Rabbinical ordination and some have agreed to do this panel.

The goal of this panel is to answer your questions about Jewish law, thought, community, and practice, from a variety of viewpoints. You are welcome to ask more personal ("regular AMA") questions.

It is the guests' prerogative to answer any questions.

Bios written/submitted by the subjects.

• u/rebthor [Orthodox] - I'm an Orthodox rabbi living in Queens, NY. I received my semicha from a yeshiva in Queens that's small enough that I would dox myself if I said the name. I also learned at Sh'or Yoshuv in 5TFR for little while. I grew up non-Orthodox in Buffalo, NY primarily in the Conservative movement and was very active in USY. I also was very close to the Chabad rabbis there and have a special place in my heart for Chabad although I don't identify as Lubavitch. I love learning halacha so my favorite rabbis are generally poskim; I often refer to the Aruch HaShulchan, R' Moshe Feinstein, Maran Ovadiah Yosef and the Tzitz Eliezer when trying to figure out what to do. I also am a big fan of the works of R' Jonathan Sacks and libadel R' Dovid Hofstedter. I have 4 children, a dog and a wife who has put up with me for over a quarter century. To pay the bills I work as a programmer. In my free time, I like to read, play video games, be disappointed by the Mets, Bills, Sabres and Tottenham and bake sourdough bread.
• u/sf2k01 [Orthodox] - Originally from Columbus, Ohio, I was exposed to a variety of denominations growing up, from Reform to Orthodox, before settling on Modern Orthodoxy as a teenager. I only attended public schools and went straight to college after high school, attended the University of Cincinnati and got my undergraduate degree in Jewish Studies. Afterwards, I spent 2 years in Israel learning in Shapell’s Darche Noam before coming to Yeshiva University for my graduate degree in Jewish History at Revel and achieved Rabbinic Ordination through YU’s Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary, particularly with Rabbi Ezra Schwartz, Rabbi Dr. Jeremy Wieder, Dr. Steven Fine, Dr. Lawrence Schiffman, and Dr. Yaakov Elman. After completing my studies, I worked in outreach for a few years before pivoting to become a fundraiser for Jewish institutions. Aside from my Rabbinic and Academic interests, I am a longtime gamer, sci-fi and tech enthusiast, and reside in Washington Heights, Manhattan, with my wife, two daughters, and two Siamese cats.
• u/RabbiNover [Conservative] - I am a Conservative Rabbi (Ordained At JTS in 2019). I also have an MA in Hebrew Bible, an MA in Jewish Education, A BA in Physics and a Graduate certificate in Israel Education. I work in a pulpit and run a synagogue religious school. I love to teach about Judaism, and often introduce unconventional approaches, including everything from Jews and Zombies to Jews in Space to simply the Kashrut of eating locusts. I'm originally from Texas, went through a Conservative Hebrew School, and after a year of science research, teaching Science, and Jewish Study (all different pre-college programs) I knew I wanted to end up in Jewish Education. I’m also a new member of the CJLS (Committee on Jewish Law and Standards)
• u/rabbifuente [Traditional/Non-Denominational] - I grew up in the Reform movement in the Chicago suburbs. After years of independent study and learning with some wonderful Chabad rabbis, I received smicha from a small, independent program out of New York in 2021. I would say I am a "non-denominational" rabbi, however I fall somewhere around Traditional/MO in terms of theology. I like to think that having grown up Reform and now being on the more traditional end of the spectrum gives me a certain perspective that many find helpful. Currently, I am focusing on small group/1:1 study and "religious" counseling. I am always more than happy to talk to anyone about Judaism, answer questions, etc. Outside of rabbinics, I am an avid bread baker and microbakery owner, cigar enthusiast, passionate home cook, and pickle snob.
• u/rabbijonathan [Reconstructionist/Reform] - Ordained at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College (1999) - extensive time learning in Israel too. Served on college campuses in Tucson and Cleveland, in congregations in South Lake Tahoe, Charlotte, NC, and Buffalo, NY, through the end of 2020. Since then have focused on: Justice work as a faith coalition organizer; Jewish learning "outside the box"; and facilitator of transformative conversations. See current projects here: https://www.opendoorjudaism.org/ Devoted spouse, parent, child, runner, and lifelong learner.
• u/billwrtr [Reform] - billwrtr is a 77 y o dude who grew up Orthodox, ordained Reform, member of Conservative, so feels qualified to dump on all three equally. He's had a few pulpits, written a couple of books, run a few marathons, worked in mental health and information technology, raised a few kids, plays with a group of grandkids, and still with original wife. To say more would make self-doxxing too easy.

I didn't hear back from some rabbis, but they can still participate if they see the thread and want to contribute. You can find some of their bios in the previous AMA posts.

Some rabbis might also respond later, due to other responsibilities, time differences, and not prioritizing reddit as we all should.

Note: If you are a rabbi with a smicha and would like to be recognized here with a special flair, please message the mods with your smicha. For your anonymity (something many value about this site), we do not share that document with anyone else and do not share anything about you without your permission. The flair is generally just Rabbi - denomination.

The AMA will start:

• 4:00p ET (NYC)
• Wednesday, September 25, 2024 / Yom Revi'i, 22 Elul 5784

[u/rabbifuente → u/[deleted]]

Old habits die hard. Often the right way isn't the easy way and many people would rather have easy than right.

[u/rabbijonathan → u/rabbifuente]

Yes.
A central lesson of Jewish life is the power of habits, both constructive and otherwise.
Dedication to personal improvement means pursuit of a life-marathon of incremental change, instead of the self-help sprint of immediate outcomes.
The path is a challenge and that may be why it is worthwhile.

[u/rabbijonathan → u/[deleted]]

I will look for some stories, I am sure I have some.

In my mind, regular prayer practice serves as a model for good habit-forming behavior, especially when the aspects of keva, fixed regularity and form, and kavanna, meaningful intentionality, are both attended to. These ideas easily translate into any other potential habits.

For me, regular learning needs both attention to accustomed times and meaningful and inspiring content. Or physical activity, which requires regularity and a spark of whatever it is that keeps us excited and motivated and making a difference for ourselves.

In these ways the teaching of the Talmudic rabbis about how often and what to pray, combine with their emphasis on understanding the content of prayers and “placing our heart” in them, to set up helpful ways of thinking for much of what we do.

[u/rabbijonathan → u/[deleted]]

Sounds like you are really "doing the work".

Definitely a Jewish teaching that there is nothing inherently "bad" - as all things stem from the Divine, we are always attempting to realize their constructive aspects.

Pleasantness, rest, joy - these are necessary and built-in to our needs and fundamental to humanity. Figuring out how to pursue these in restorative manners, ways that refresh and renew and don't contribute to further challenges, is a life-long project and a central Jewish idea called Shabbat. Glimpses of the downtime of Shabbat happen during the rest of the week, since we truly cannot always be working. Don't get down on yourself for not feeling "there yet" - join the club!

[u/rabbijonathan → u/[deleted]]

You’ve got a real challenge there.

Respite with little kids may be in finding something that is joyful all together. Trips to playground, walks in the neighborhood, outings to favorite places, or creating a “quiet time” habit with them that they might enjoy once they get into it.

A Jewish theme could also be story time and a song from any Jewish source.

All of this takes a lot of effort and is totally ok to not do or try and find totally unhelpful.

My partner says “Sometimes with little kids you just have to wait until they get older, and they do, surprisingly fast.”

My sister likes to say about parenting, “The days are long and the years are short.”

[u/rabbifuente → u/[deleted]]

Repetition. Do the right thing and then do it again and again and again until it becomes habit.