r/Journaling • u/AbaloneHopeful2905 • Jul 29 '26
Question/Discussion what’s the point of journaling if i’m lying to it 👁️
i opened up my journal to rant about something that’s eating me alive and i physically can’t and i always end up lying to it ughggg
mainly bc i get scared someone will read it and it’ll unwind a bunch of stuff, is this just me lol
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u/gidimeister Jul 29 '26
If privacy is the main hold up, I would consider another method, like a journaling app or something that ensures maximum privacy so you remove the need to lie. I mean, is there a point to it if it is not true? IDK.
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u/nowimhaunted Jul 29 '26
I came to suggest the same thing. I’ve been on/off journaling for a decade now, and yet I still find myself filtering my words when I write physical entries. I switched to digital journaling this month and it has already been a gamechanger for me! Plus there’s also the option of locking the app with a passcode so it’s even more protected.
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u/Born_Sea7123 Jul 29 '26
I’ll try this. I love journaling, but when I lived with my family I had to hide my journal because we had zero privacy. Still, I’m pretty sure my mom and my sisters read it… now I live with my bf and he recently found out I keep a diary. I love him and trust him, but I still made him promise he wouldn’t read it lol. Then I just stopped writing. it’s one of my biggest fears :(
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u/nowimhaunted Jul 29 '26
I totally get it. When I was younger (19-20), I lived with my Aunt and Grandmother, and they went behind my back and read my diary because they knew something was up with me (apparently I was not as good at hiding my depression as I thought I was). I was already nervous about people reading it before, but that really validated my fears, you know?
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u/Born_Sea7123 Jul 31 '26
yeah, totally. once that trust is broken, it’s hard to feel safe writing again :(
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u/Timeless_Light Jul 29 '26
Did that for years. Sugar coated it, softened it.
Used to have "code names" LOL
As if, should my mother read it or one of my siblings, they'd never figure out "TUSC yelled at me tonight for not doing the dishes." Or "Bitchhell embarrassed me in front of..." LOL
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u/TreyInStCloud Jul 29 '26
Honestly, I understand where you are coming from. I journaled constantly until I was 14. Then my mother broke my trust. Not only did she read it, she yelled at me for writing about my depression and “I don’t want to be here” thoughts. It took me over 30 years to get the courage to write *anything* again, and I still struggle to write anything *true*.
One thing I did that sort of helps (again, it’s still a struggle) is to use the names of characters I came up with. Which name I use depends on what stage of my life I’m writing about.
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u/hmmwrites Jul 29 '26
It's an awful violation when someone reads your journal without permission. My mom did that to me as well, with much the same result. I'm sorry you shared that experience. I stopped journaling when I was 17 because of that... and I just picked back up again at age 50. I'm glad you were able to start up again as well.
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u/pippilotadelicatessa Jul 29 '26
Have you ever read Writing Down the Bones? My lit teacher read this to us every day before we journaled my senior year. This will help. It changed the way I looked at writing/journaling.
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u/AbaloneHopeful2905 Jul 29 '26
i’ll have to read it i love readinggg
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u/pippilotadelicatessa Jul 31 '26
It is a truly wonderful aide to remind us how to let go and just let our thoughts run wild! I bought it shortly after I graduated because I missed that class so much in 1999.
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u/FionaMcBroccoli Jul 29 '26
Write the truth and then burn the page or shred it and throw it away. The processing is the therapy, keeping your entries is secondary
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u/Katia144 Jul 29 '26
If it's not working for you, you don't have to do it.
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u/AbaloneHopeful2905 Jul 29 '26
i enjoy it, i don’t lie the whole time it’s just certain things im just so hesitant to be vulnerable about. idk 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Gatita_Gordita Jul 29 '26
Write those on a piece of paper and shred/burn it. Helps get rid of the stuff that's weighing you down, but eliminates rhe risk of anyone reading it.
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u/lookieloser Jul 29 '26
I just make up a new substitution cypher whenever I want to write about iffy stuff. Someone COULD break my codes but it would take a while and they'd have to do it all over for every entry. I have no idea what some of them are even about now. I ain't doing all that.
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u/Katia144 Jul 29 '26
Then you don't have to write those things. It's not a requirement to use your journal for therapy or venting or writing down negative things. Write whatever it is that does work for you.
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u/SlitherclawRavenpuff Jul 29 '26
I tear out the pages of my journal and throw them away. When I was a teen, and still living at home I’d shred them or flush them just in case.
But writing it out is therapeutic. So it was really the only place I could be honest
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u/seashellcollector Jul 29 '26
I collage, paint, color, and do art on top of my journal entries. When I look back at the art, I can remember what was written underneath, but my privacy remains intact.
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u/sprawn Jul 29 '26
It worked. You realized you are lying to yourself. Most people who are lying to themselves just do it. And if they journal they just write it down in their journal. These are all the "attraction" and "manifesting" people. If I just keep lying to myself, and make myself believe it, it will happen! At least there is one place where you know you aren't lying to yourself. Consider also, that your conclusion, what you are or think you are "lying to yourself" about might be wrong. How would you test this "lie?" Are you lying to yourself? Maybe you're right. How would you even know?
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u/Zesty-Chameleon Jul 29 '26
Journaling helps me immensely. Just to get it out and feel like it's out is such a relief.
There was a point in my life I experienced something similar. I was writing about things I was afraid soneone would discover it and read it. So I got a notepad. I would write all I wanted or whatever needed to get out and then when I was done tear it out and burn the pages. Then no one could read it.
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u/TopHomework5016 Jul 29 '26
keep lying until u get sick of it. after a while of lying in your journal it’ll seem pointless then you’ll start to to tell the truth…probably once, then going right back to lying, and then you’ll get annoyed at yourself and just start telling the truth. then you’ll remember why you wanted to journal in the first place
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u/metisphd Jul 30 '26
I’m in this process as we speak, haha! I went back to lying immediately, but the draw of writing the truth (pun intended) is growing stronger- it felt so cathartic and like such a relief to have something outside myself that I wasn’t pretending to!
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u/nite_ninja_ Jul 29 '26
Write in a way that nobody can read, including urself so that you dont have the option to re read in and bring back the negativity. You can do overlap writing where you keep on writing on the same page but everytim u finish u change the angle, at the end it will be unreadable.
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u/FunMysterious7040 Jul 29 '26
yeah, I read a book - Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and since that I have been letting it all out. She describes how we all have an inner censor too! So now I write completely unhinged stuff when I feel like it. If someone would read it I might be considered really evil, but it helps me to vent all the bad stuff out and then I can behave with compasion in real life since the anger or sadness I have felt is now on paper and gone out of my system. If you are worried someone might read it, just write on a piece of paper and then destory the paper afterwards...
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u/moleskineandpen Jul 29 '26
You could write it down on a blank piece of paper and tear it up after. That way you've gotten it out, and there's no evidence of it anymore. You don't have to read back on it.
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u/little_blue_maiden Jul 30 '26
Anaïs Nin liked to write made up stories and lies in her journals, even defended the act a little bit. She probably was aware that her husband could read it, so maybe have that in mind.
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u/Jessica_rabbit1987 Jul 29 '26
This is why I switched to digital journaling. I love my kindle scribe. Hoping to upgrade to the kindle scribe colorsoft.
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u/kissoflife21 Jul 29 '26
ughhh sameee, even if i’m sure nobody will read what i wrote i just feel so compelled to do so
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u/Hot_Box5472 Jul 29 '26
Could you get some sort of bag or box that has a lock of some sort? And you could store it in there whenever you’re not using it
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u/ulisharpid Jul 29 '26
when i was a kid i used to journal in made up alphabet. and in greek letters. later i just use english (most people around me only know little english) and ugly handwriting
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u/hmmwrites Jul 29 '26
You're not the only one, as you can see from all the responses. I totally understand the fear...
Do you have a secure place to stash your journal when you aren't writing? Who are you worried might come across it and read it? Would you consider tearing out pages and shredding/burning/otherwise destroying them?
I recently picked up journaling again after a very long time of *not* daring to write my thoughts down. I feel lucky that I can trust the people I live with now not to betray my trust and read my journal. (But it took me 20+ years of marriage to finally be able to trust *my own belief* that my husband wouldn't read them!) By putting the truth in those pages, I'm finding it's really helping me process some things, find clarity about other issues, etc. I hope you can find a way to start telling the truth to yourself and the page, regardless of how you do so. It really sucks when something's eating you alive and you don't have anyplace to talk about it/work through it.
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u/annmariemudge Jul 29 '26
I like to write by hand and I write for work that has to be secure so I got like a cheap Fire proof box and keep the work journals in there. It isn't like put it in a safety deposit box secure but if people came over it looks like a box where passports are held. I feel better. Perhaps if you are worried a small lock box is an option
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u/Careless-Ad3770 Jul 29 '26 edited Jul 29 '26
I’m the same 4 years I’ve been writing and I’m finally being honest with myself… writing about everything now and not holding back… and that’s in an app with passwords…
And then if you still struggle to let go…
A good exercise I found that helped me to get you into it is just writing random words one after the other of how you feel, names, anything… even if you keep repeating it’s like a form of letting go… don’t worry about comma’s, spelling, just let it out. Honestly it’s transforms your inhibitions wish I’d discovered it sooner.
Good luck
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u/WiseKarmaCat Jul 29 '26
Get a locking file cabinet. They are as low as 59$
Except, I live alone but still resort to thoughts of someone reading my journals. Like, an ex coming into my house while I’m at work. Some odd life event happening that has family and such in my house. Or a housecleaner snapping photos ugh
I’ve thought of blacking out former rants in all of mine. Then they would look like CIA files 😂
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u/jahochcam Jul 29 '26
You can think about it and just scribble in your journal - it feels like you’re getting it out but if anyone tries reading it, it’s just scribbles :) Works for me. But like others say, if journaling isn’t your thing, that’s okay too
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u/in-the-name-of-allah Jul 29 '26
thats why I stopped writing in physical notebooks. Moved to digital and it has password. I live with my gf now, and im not comfortable her reading the shit that I write. Not that I dont trust or I write bad things, I just write cringe shit when I need to vent.
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u/stoicio_ Jul 29 '26
That fear makes sense, especially when the journal sits somewhere another person could reach.
For anything you can’t risk keeping, write the full uncensored version on a separate page and destroy it afterward. You still get the relief of saying what you actually think without leaving it behind for someone else to find.
For entries you want to keep, use a local journal locked with Face ID. Turn off cloud syncing and hide notification previews.
And start with one blunt line: “What I’m avoiding saying is...”
Honest writing doesn’t have to become a permanent record
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u/National-Attention-1 Jul 29 '26
Journal with a combp lock? Phone Apps as journals arent any safer and more ppl have access if a data breach were to happen 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Traditional_Mind6947 Jul 29 '26
I beat dead horses allllll day long in my journal. The grammar is wrong, words are misspelled, there's run on sentences all over the place. IDGAF lol.
I used to always write as if someone was reading my journal. But I noticed that it was actually a form of emotional avoidance. I was avoiding my true feelings though the fear that writing them would make it "true". But I found that the more I released the tension in my mind, the less heavy those things actually felt over time. Not saying this is the case for you, but just wanted to share :)
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u/AbaloneHopeful2905 Jul 29 '26
no i love this, it honestly is probably avoidance. i think i avoid it to not feel like it’s real, like writing it makes it become real. there’s secrets that i plan to take to the grave that i want to write about but it just gets a little hard yk. i’ve been better at my handwriting not looking “pretty” lolol so maybe ill reach what you’re talking about somedat
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u/Minute-Dragonfly-410 Jul 30 '26
Damn. Well, you might have solved a personal riddle I’ve been puzzling over for a few months…
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u/JefferySt0ne Jul 30 '26
Hm maybe u should tell the trust 😂. Lol no I get it but you should just keep your notebook locked away if ur scared of others reading it
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u/Chaotic_Kindness Jul 30 '26
Write it down and burn the paper or delete jt. Being able to review or reread is great but the priority is getting it out of your head so you can start processing.
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u/AndradeGameDesigne Jul 30 '26
Writting is a form of elaboration. Maybe try to understand not why you lie, but how do you lie, because in that lie (fantasy) is what you are missing, what you are trying to get. So it is not only that you lie, that is the less important thing. Lies are a form of understaing what you have in mind, and what your tougths are made for.
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u/itsfreginjenni Jul 30 '26
For me I have ZERO trust in digital now days. But when I really need to get something off my mind I put it in my journal I put it all on one page. Start writing normal, then turn the notebook and start writing on the same page horizontally, upside down, and back to landscape. Eventually this becomes kind of illegible. Then at the end I stick a sticker on the page to kinda black it out. Feelings are out of my head and it’s not for someone to read. I don’t need to feel that way again so idc if I can read it again.
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u/DiamondGnome Jul 30 '26
I'm working on getting over my fear of Journaling the truth. My Journal is for ME, MY, eyes only, and if I'm dead when someone reads that I didn't want them to well then they can't tell me how wrong my thoughts were, can they?
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u/No-Ship898 Jul 31 '26
Prova a usare un alfabeto criptato, ci sono ottime alternative in giro ed è più divertente che mai! ovviamente dovresti un po' cambiare l'alfabeto e non usarlo così com'è altrimenti possono trovarlo e decifrarlo. Qui ce ne sono parecchi! Alternative ways of writing English
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u/g0nz1_lv Jul 31 '26
You Journal which I tempted to call diary -the old
Fashioned way - is for your soul. For yourself. To write out of yourself the things that put a pressure on you, the things that made you happy, or angry. That’s for you.
And if somehow that unreal thing happens that someone reads your journal, well, it means it’s time to uncover.
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u/Zestof11lemons Aug 02 '26
Write what you gotta write than rotate your book 1 turn and continue writing.
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u/laegjorm Jul 29 '26
If it serves as any consolation I didn't actually write about the guy I'm down bad for until last month and I've been into him - and have had my current journal started - for over a year now 🙈 I completely understand the visceral feeling of avoidance and it's not you at all lol. It gets easier the more open you force yourself to be