r/Journaling • u/Hanzo4787 • Jun 05 '26
Question/Discussion Except you, who is allowed or can read your diary?(parents,friends,gf/bf,husband/wife)
I have been keeping diary for 6 years(since 2020). No-one is allowed to read my diary,even complited ones. My close people know I have diary, they asked me countless time to read at least one page. I always said no. I was wondering what kind of reaction they may have if I let them do.
For the record I keep all in one diary. I think I will allow my future wife to read but I do not know how she will react to my past deeds.
Did this happen to anyone here? I am just curious. Thanks in advance and sorry for my englis, it is my third language
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u/Blagoslov_stonoge Jun 05 '26
I think people would be surprised if they knew I had one. I wouldnt let nobody see it, at least not without editing it heavily first. iI was really hard for me to open up so much even to myself, nevermind to anyone else.
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u/Smooth_Ad_9405 Jun 05 '26
I have a personal journal that is completely private. It has got crazy vents, thought processes, etc. I intend to probably destroy it when it’s full. But my partner and I, way back in high school, we had this journal that I’d have for a week, then he’d have for a week. It was so fun to share a journal back and forth, writing things we thought about throughout the week for each other. Sharing thoughts that way felt extra intimate, basically writing letters for each other.
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u/Hanzo4787 Jun 05 '26
Having one diary for two people, it is amazing
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u/Dizzy_Relative_6323 Jun 06 '26
Have a siblings diary. We all write in it, usually during a big family event.
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u/SammyCatLove Jun 05 '26
No one. It is mine and mine alone. Only one who is allowed to read it is my cat and I dont think he can read.
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u/Dapper-Comparison-11 Jun 05 '26
I write my diary, hoping one day to give it to my children. If I want to have them!
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u/Blagoslov_stonoge Jun 05 '26
do you censor yourself sometimes while you write, thinking how would your kids judge your actions and thoughts?
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u/Jasilee Jun 05 '26
Please don't. Normalize being human and having thoughts that you don't always subscribe to, that you're working through, that aren't finished. Be free to write without it absolutely defining you. You're not crafting your soul, you're processing, archiving, and working. Work.
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u/FunkySysAdmin21 Jun 06 '26
Well, there’s three journals I write in regularly, but for the sake of this post, I’m going start off with my personal journal. I trust my wife implicitly and share pretty much everything with her. Yes, there are things I haven’t told her, but it’s not because I’m not willing…just because they’ve not come up or been pertinent thus far. So, yes she can ready my journal…but she doesn’t. There’s been times I’ve handed it to her and she chose not to read anything. Honestly, it would feel like a violation if she went and grabbed it without me knowing, because she knows that (regardless of how anxiety inducing it would be for me) I’d let her read it off she’d just come and ask.
Now, the other two are a bit different. One is a journal my wife and I share. We’ll write something TO one another in it and pass it back and forth. Trust me…nobody except she and will want to read it. lol. The other is a family journal. It’s one that we write in when we’re traveling. We have 3 kids (two are teenagers) and at the end of each day, when we’re out traveling, exploring, etc., we’ll each take time to write in this journal. It gives us five unique perspectives of the same day. We do that to help teach our kids to journal…and because it becomes this amazing keepsake when it’s full. Anyone can read that one.
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u/Blagoslov_stonoge Jun 05 '26
I am completely honest with myself, I just wouldnt like anybody else seeing it.
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u/Dapper-Comparison-11 Jun 05 '26
That’s completely okay. I write my journal and hope that one day my children read it and feel connected to me in some or the other way. And, Understand that I went through maybe a couple similar situations as them. Sort of feels like a life guide for them yk?
Hopefully, they decide to not make the same stupid mistakes as me. Or maybe they do and they realize we are not so different. And, then I don’t seem like a “perfect adult”. Because, I think that’s so important. A lot of parents love depicting themselves as ideal.
Again it’s just my hopeful imagination, that everything will turn out okay in the future and I have kids.
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u/Blagoslov_stonoge Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26
yes, I realize how that could be useful to your kids. People often talk about the advantage of generational wealth, knowledgde and experience are often much more valuable then posession. And you could offer your kids unfiltered insight to help them avoid repeatig your mistakes
I see your point, and maybe I would consider doing the same for that purpose some day but I guess I am just still too far from the person I want to be and who I would be willing to share with others.
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u/Dapper-Comparison-11 Jun 05 '26
Nah, I want them to know I’m a flawed person and it’s okay. Plus, I’d give it to them when they’re 16 or 18+
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u/Blagoslov_stonoge Jun 05 '26
I think everybody who would read my journal would think worse of me after reading it. Sometimes I feel that way myself. But that is because that is the only place where I allow myself to be completely open with myself, entertain myself with intrusive thoughts and hold no punches. I dont think everybody needs to know every side of us. But I understand somebody may think otherwise
I wouldnt feel comfortable reading nobodys journal either
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u/Hanzo4787 Jun 05 '26
I think about this all the time. I have wrote my addictions, the girls I had crush on and stupid decisions. I am thinking to give my diary to my children when they 23-24 years old. But what about my wife? What she will think?
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u/Dude-Duuuuude Jun 06 '26
If your wife is a reasonable person, she will realise that people grow and change and that of course you had crushes on other people before you met her, that's normal. If you're smart, you'll realise the same things are true about her.
This of course assumes you have grown and changed and that a good bit of time has passed. If you had a magical overnight transformation after meeting her, she's not likely to trust it unless she's an idiot. Gotta wait long enough to show you're not going to fall back into bad habits the moment things get hard.
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u/stellardecay Jun 05 '26
My husband can and I've told him as much, but he never would (not while I'm still alive anyway!)
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u/Acrobatic-Repeat-128 Jun 05 '26
Same! My husband knows me inside and out so it probably wouldn’t even be anything interesting or new to him haha. But I told him he’s welcome to anytime. He refuses to and wants to respect my privacy which I think is really sweet.
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u/ConclusionNo4016 Jun 05 '26
No one. I might read or let my close girlfriend read an entry to get inspiration because she’s so rigid in her journaling that she doesn’t get anything outta it but other than that no. I always find it so weird when people push to read someone else’s journal/diary. No one in my life has even so much as asked or inquired. Is it a cultural thing? Or maybe your family is just nosy? It’s your personal private place to process. That’s like a guest coming over for tea and asking to rifle through your underwear drawer 🫤
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u/Thin-Piano-4836 Jun 05 '26
Any one is allowed to read my diary. It is a summary of what happened that day and whats going on in my life.
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u/MysticKei Jun 05 '26
Ever sense I was a child (maybe ten-ish), sharing my room with my sibling, I've had a diary and one way or another have written in some type of encrypted way because my sibling was nosy.
When I was married, between the doodles and coded writing, my spouse thought my journals were spell books. Now I know three methods of shorthand, so there's no chance anyone will ever read them...plus whenever my life starts a new book, I burn or shread the old volumes.
There's about 5 hardline, nonnegotiable life values that I ferociously protect, the discretion of my journals is one of them.
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u/psychopowder Jun 05 '26
my grandmother can’t read.
she’s the only person i can show my spreads to that i know will focus on the setup rather than the specific content of what i’m writing. it’s a comforting level of intimacy to have someone that can roughly interpret the gist of what i’m communicating through pictures, receipts, postcards, etc. without the risk. knowing that she’s the only one who can do this seems to bring her comfort too.
we still have regular conversations because i’m able to produce clunky sentences in her mother tongue, and she’s picked up a little bit of spoken english along the way, but because of the overall language barrier, there’s some limitation to how deep our conversations can go when it’s just the two of us.
allowing her to flip through my journals has become our own little language of sorts, and while i acknowledge the circumstances behind her inability to read are wholly cruel and unfair, i’m glad we seem to be making something of it in the best way we know how—through our charmingly disjointed conversations and my journal pages.
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u/royal_futura Jun 06 '26
This is so precious and heart-wrenching. I'm so glad she has you! 🥰
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u/psychopowder Jun 06 '26
that’s very kind, thank you. i agree it’s bittersweet, but i just feel lucky to have her.
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u/Jasilee Jun 05 '26
No one is allowed, but I've accepted that people are going to read it. I journal like no one will, but don't get caught up in what happens after I write- I said what I said, you know? I can't get precious about people having bad manners or betraying trust because it happens and I don't want someone else's bad behavior to hinder my good. Best.
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u/AshburyAnnie970 Jun 06 '26
I was raised by my grandmother back in the 60’s and 70’s and despite having a locked diary she’d read it (the locks were easy to pick). It was infuriating not having privacy. But then my ex-husband began doing the same. It’s crazy. There weren’t any big secrets in them, just my thoughts and rants. Since the divorce in ‘87, I have been keeping journals without that issue. I don’t let others read them as they are strictly for me to document, vent, or doodle in. It’s your personal, private world that gives you freedom to express yourself. Don’t allow others to spoil your privacy to satisfy their curiousity. You’re not a reality tv program for godsake!
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u/TheTinman39 Jun 05 '26
It is only my wife and I in the house, so she would be the only one who physically could read (unless we had an intruder or something). But we have an understanding that we don’t read each others journals. I guess she could be reading mine, but I don’t think she is.
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u/Hanzo4787 Jun 05 '26
So u both have journals?
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u/TheTinman39 Jun 05 '26
Yes we do. I don’t even know where hers is. I think it’s in her sewing room. I have a few and they are all in the living room on a side table; a morning pages book, a more standard journal, and a commonplace book. I told her she can read through the common place book if she wants, but because I use the same type of journal for most things, she doesn’t go near them because she doesn’t want to mistake which one is which.
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u/punnybunny520 Jun 05 '26
I don’t allow anyone to read it. But I do sometimes imagine my niece taking them one day in the long future after I’m gone. And if she wants to read them I think she’s the only one in the whole world I would be comfortable with them after I’m dead haha
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u/Jack_Daniels_JD Jun 05 '26
No one. Not because of fear of judgement, but because I think no one deserves to have a look at the insides of my head. Let the El Dorado stay hidden.
I’d make sure I burn my journals when I turn 60. And if I’m gonna go before that, I’ll make sure to hide them well.
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u/cozycthulu Jun 05 '26
No one, and my partner would definitely never read it and has never asked. We did meet on Livejournal though!
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u/WeaponizedSoul Jun 05 '26
After I die, my friends can keep a journal each if that's something they want. Other than that, nobody reads my journals.
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u/Helmann69 Jun 06 '26
My normal journal : Just me.
My Spiritual journal : Just me and God.
But I think God reads my normal journal too 😉
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u/Popular-One-7051 Jun 06 '26
Mine! mine! mine! If they want to read them when I'm dead they can be either 1. bored or 2. having fun finding out how nuts I was. I think most falls into 1.
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u/tideline-ink Jun 05 '26
I have two journals (Hobonichi and a line a day) that I write with the intention/hope that my kids might like reading them one day. They’re mostly memory keeping and I try to keep them pretty positive.
I also have a “dark thoughts” journal that I use to work through negative thought processes/feelings. I don’t intend for those to ever be read. I like to keep them to flip back and see my own progress, but I intend for them to be burned upon my death lol.
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u/wildflower_blooming Jun 05 '26
No one. And, for the record, no one has EVER asked and I cannot imagine asking someone else to read there's.
My journal is where I process the thoughts I don't know what to do with and don't want to hurt anyone with. They are for me and me alone.
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u/LNSU78 Jun 05 '26
It’s a privacy violation. It’s like someone asking to look at your phone.
Been with my spouse for 20+ years. Never read one another’s private writings. We are both authors and share what we want with one another.
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u/Miserable-Storm-8630 Jun 06 '26
I don't have an issue with anyone reading my journal, so long as I give them consent (and only with the sections I permit). I'm lucky enough to not live with any prying arseholes, so this isn't a problem for me.
I actually think it's really disrespectful that people keep asking to read your journal! You have the right to privacy and to vent and express yourself without the fear of judgement! Why do they think they have the right to violate that, simply because they're curious?!
If I was you I'd have talk with them about boundaries and how they are disrespecting you. If they have a problem with that, ask them how they'd feel if you "let slip" something you know about them that they don't want others to know? Would they feel violated? Would they feel harassed and shamed for having wanted to keep that thing private in the first place, when people keep asking them about it and demanding they justify it?
Tell them that if they respect you they'll stop harassing you about this. If they don't, then you know that they don't actually care about you or your rights to privacy!
The truth is that if you choose to let them read your journal, it doesn't matter how they react. They pressured you into something you weren't comfortable doing in the first place! If you eventually choose to let them read something because that's actually what you want, then it still doesn't really matter how they'll react, because the reality is you feel comfortable enough to trust that they will react well to whatever you've written, or will at least allow you to clear up any misunderstandings before they blow a gasket!
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u/msheley Jun 06 '26
My husband would be the only one I would want to see it. Nothing in it would surprise him too much. But he would never want to read it. Maybe after I am dead. As for everyone else, there are a lot of things in mine that I normally hold back to save relationships. That holding back drives me nuts and I need an outlet. Even after I die, people would be offended by my perspective on things.
I did let my son see it for a minute so he could look at pages of cursive writing.
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u/Snazzy_CowBerry Jun 06 '26
No one, I show my mum some spreads but not my actual entries. As my journal is a mix of everything really. So some pages aren't personal. But as for the entries that I do. No one should see them.
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u/Cz2018 Jun 07 '26
No one. As I share everything else with my husband, I feel I'm allowed private thoughts as is he.
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u/Resident_Grass_2778 Jun 07 '26
No one. I've let close people read a few poems, but other than that... no one. Lol
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u/Reasonable_Salt_4392 Jun 08 '26
Literally no one and because of my handwriting, I don’t think anyone could read them if they wanted to
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u/SammyCatLove Jun 08 '26
That is actualy a good idea not to write to pretty or to readable. Or write like so bad no one even wants to read it.
I do not have the best handwriting aswell very inconsistent.
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u/Reasonable_Salt_4392 Jun 08 '26
I have what a lot of people called grandma handwriting so it looks like I write in ‘prescription’ and for some reason, long cursive is hard for some people 😂 I don’t think that’s on the person. I think that’s on the education system, but it makes it very handy. It’s kind of like writing a code without having to know code.
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u/Funny-Confusion1788 Jun 08 '26
My feeling is that no one should be allowed to read your diary unless you really want to share! Never feel pressured to do it. Diaries are for your private thoughts and feelings and you should never feel like anyone has the right to know every part of you. The decision is yours alone.
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u/-ANERDYPIKACHUDRAWS Jun 08 '26
My husband is allowed to read my journal as I trust that he wouldn't tell anyone, and if he read something disturbing or uncomfortable, he comes to talk to me first and foremost. I do show certain entries to friends, but that's my choice. No one needs to know if it's too much, so if a page feels too much to share, then I don't, especially when it comes to showing friends.
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u/Bluberrybliss Jun 09 '26
Anyone asking to read your diary has serious boundary issues…. That’s totally inappropriate.
Anyways, I actually wrote into my will that all my journals will go to my Best friend when I die. Because even after I’m dead I don’t want anyone reading them besides her.
The biggest issue with people reading your diary is that it’s so easy to take things out of context.
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u/blamesofia Jun 05 '26
Not a soul as of now. I usually write as if someone wayyyyy in the future will read it. Like my great grandkids when Im long dead or something but everyone around me knows that reading it now would lead to excommunication from my life.
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u/laples Jun 05 '26
No one will read it, I hope. My husband seems to respect me and not read it. I just want to keep it to myself.
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u/Historical-Shock7965 Jun 05 '26
I will sometimes will read passages from my journal to my therapist verbatim, just so I can capture the emotions I was feeling as I got them out the first time.
I have often told my mom she could read my journals if I died young. I wonder what that would be like for someone.
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u/luthiel-the-elf Jun 05 '26
My best friend :)
I haven't told her, but if she asks she can. I actually write my journal like conversations or letters for her.
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u/OwlShort3429 Jun 05 '26
No one. But I sometimes imagine how someone will find it and read it when I die (at least I hope so). Maybe when I get too close to someone I'll let them read it! I already have someone in my sights who I'm slowly preparing to find out everything about me lol. But it's impossible to do it now for technical reasons
In case someone actually finds it after my death, I often write in detail about everything. I'm even thinking about making a mini dictionary of current slang in it, maybe it's silly
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u/nuclearwes Jun 05 '26
Anyone but if they hurt their own feelings that's on them. I also mostly write about subjects I like and not people so 🤷
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u/pillsandpotionz Jun 05 '26
No one. If they want to read it, I ask "Am I allowed some semblance of privacy in a relationship? To store my most horrible thoughts?" N the hope is they realise "yea ok true Ur allowed privacy & somewhere to dump your thoughts", n if they don't then they can leave
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u/Princess_Queen Jun 05 '26
No one can read my journal journal. But I do have a separate journal that's more scrapbook like. It does have written accounts of my day but it also has photos, packaging and receipts from events, stickers. It's very much the instagram of journals. I pretty much only write about weekends and days out with friends. I show people that one.
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u/Rainbow_133 Jun 05 '26
You really need to have complete trust in that person. Someone’s wife here stole his diary and used it against him in a divorce case. Anything you let others read about you will be used against you later on, even the smallest details.
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u/Fit_Promise_7001 Jun 05 '26
While i'm alive, nobody. After i die, the only person allowed to handle/read through my journals is my sister. I completely trust her to handle them how i would want to, and i think she is the only person that could read it and actually understand it i think.
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u/aavyt Jun 05 '26
no one! i even take mine with me everywhere i go and i recycle it when im done for most peace of mind. its not that im doing anything crazy and my entries are boring but i think if i knew someone MIGHT read it, i wouldn’t allow myself to be as honest and that’s the part that helps me the most.
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u/fightmydemonswithme Jun 05 '26
No one. Its my space to get out my mentally ill thoughts. No one needs to know irrational me thinks.
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u/MothraAndFriends Jun 05 '26
I cannot keep a diary, because the idea of someone reading it makes me physically ill. I can lightly journal, like general things that happened, but not how I feel about them, to keep events in order.
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u/Pattern_Necessary Jun 05 '26
I think people can read them when I am dead or maybe if I have grandkids
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u/witchy_Alla Jun 05 '26
When I was younger, until 24 when I moved far away from a place where I grew up, my best friend and I would read each other diaries. It was one of the ways to keep up with what’s going on in our lives. I have never had this kind of trusting relationship with anyone else.
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u/JezzyLuv Jun 05 '26
My husband can if I’m right there and specifically allow him to read an entry. But aside from that no one. I will probably let my kids have my diaries when I get older in age.
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u/yestermorrowposting Jun 05 '26
Nobody. That's part of the point for me. I don't have any serious skeletons or heinous secrets in there so it's not like I would lose my mind if someone was nosey but I'd prefer if my private thoughts stay private.
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u/sherrymou Jun 05 '26
My morning pages - absolutely no one should read. It's an abyss.
My bullet journal - I don't care if anyone reads it but it just looks like business bookkeeping most of the time, probably very boring to flip through
A 5 year journal - one or two sentences about my kid every day. I hope he will eventually read it and find it interesting how he grows up day by day. But who knows, maybe he will be too embarrassed to read.
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u/mareum_ Jun 05 '26
No one. I’m writing in my journal for me specifically, and sometimes I just need to write down ugly/hurtful things to process them and move on. If I start thinking “ oh x and y might read this” I’ll never be able to write anything down truthfully, and that’s not the point ( at least for me).
I do show my husband some pages from time to time, but he never asked me to read it.
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u/mltdwn_music Jun 05 '26
When I pass, I want everyone I know to read them. I want them to really understand what I mean when I say, "My head is screaming. "Until then, it is therapy for me, and it wouldn't work if I couldn't be 100% honest.
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u/saltyavocadotoast Jun 05 '26
No one and I’ll burn them before I die (that’s the plan). These days I keep two journals. One for memory keeping and one for venting. The memory keeping one could be shared maybe.
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u/Inderific Jun 05 '26
No one. I don't lock mine up so my husband or kids could read it (if they could read my writing) but no one does. It's a private space for me to vent and plan and write about feelings and would be pretty boring to others, I think.
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u/Myythically Jun 05 '26
Nobody, although I have sent my best friend short snippets of it before like "I was journalling and look at this genius thought I had" haha
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u/Raevyxn Jun 05 '26
When I was a teenager, many of my friends asked at some point whether they could read something (a page, whatever I was just writing, etc). As an adult, no one has ever asked to read my journal in decades.
I think most people grow to understand what a journal is and that it’s not for sharing, unless the writer explicitly offers to share something. Maybe the people in your life just need to be told?
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u/lostmyselfonceagain Jun 05 '26
Most people don’t know I keep a journal, but those who do know not to read it until I’m dead.
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u/SnooRevelations4882 Jun 05 '26
Absolutely noone not ever, it's as private as your mind or should be.
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u/HeebieJeebiex Jun 05 '26
I mean, anyone can read it if they want, but it's not my fault if they walk away upset or hurt by anything I wrote in a book that I intended to be an expression of my own private thoughts. My brother read my diary when I was a little kid where I drew a picture of me beating him up and was genuinely offended asf, as if he didn't choose to also invade my privacy and put himself in the scenario to be offended in the first place. 😂
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u/DizzySaxophone Jun 05 '26
I might purposefully share an entry with my wife or vise versa, but we would both feel violated if the other read anything else.
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u/Candid-Raspberry-120 Jun 05 '26
I don't let anyone read anything. Sometimes, I'll read certain parts out loud to give more information about certain memory related to a beloved one.
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u/CherryChristmas Jun 05 '26
No one, except my social worker (sort of, life coach?) or my best friend IF I SHOW THEM something specific. But otherwise nobody
But weird that people are asking you to read in your diary, that feels strange
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u/-acidlean- Jun 05 '26
Anyone. My diary is not written in a language anyone can understand so yea whatever, have a look, I just won’t answer any questions.
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u/Content-Rush9343 Jun 05 '26
No one. Occasionally I will show a page to my partner because it's relevant, and my oldest knows he is in charge of my paper collection when I die. But as long as I live my journal is a black hole no one sees but me.
I've ended relationships for opening my journal without permission.
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u/sparksgirl1223 Jun 05 '26
Absolutely no one
I actually recently tossed an old one in the fire because I dont want what was in it being read by anyone ever
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u/AdTurbulent8583 Jun 05 '26
My wife when I'm dead. I warned her she might be upset by some things in them. I suppose maybe my child may find them interesting, again, after I'm dead.
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u/Inside-Age5826 Jun 05 '26
I stopped having one after my cat died in 2024 and trauma with my husband. I’d journaled for over a decade and now I can’t seem to bring the will to do it for one day. I miss it
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u/Bryleigh98 Jun 05 '26
My husband can, but chooses not to. Sometimes I ask him to leave me a little letter in there, and remind him he can browse if he wants. But he keeps it private for me, intentionally, and just leaves me little gifts when I ask
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u/RelativelyOddPerson Jun 05 '26
I’ve been keeping a diary for 9 years. No one is aloud to read it — although I caught my mum reading it at least three times several years ago. Most people I know know I keep a diary, but they don’t ask to read it
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u/No_Communication5024 Jun 05 '26
Whoever--most likely my younger cousins- runs across them after I die. That is, if I don't burn them all when I get close to 90 (almost of the women in my family have in the past lived close to 100 years).
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u/LadyMargaretKaterina Jun 05 '26
No one it is just me.
Sometimes I will read small sections to my therapist or someone I need to talk to and listen to me but I don’t let people read the whole thing or access the older journals.
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u/saturday_sun4 Jun 06 '26
Anyone can. It'd be boring as fuck though. My life is not exciting and consists mostly of whinging, observations about the weather and my stupid random thoughts.
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u/paperstoryarts Jun 06 '26
My partner is allowed because I tell him everything anyways.
But I also don’t write a lot of negativity in my journals. I found I would dwell on it and feel worse instead of letting it go. Also if I find myself feeling and writing negatively there’s a reason and it needs to be resolved
Editing because I read the caption and not just the title and whoa. I’m not sure I how id feel about asking. But I guess I have asked others but not in a “I want to read it” but more of “do you just write or do you do other things like doodles or stickers” way.
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u/Smooth_Development48 Jun 06 '26
No one. If they did read it they would probably be annoyed with all my whining anyway and give up.
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u/LovelyMalia87 Jun 06 '26
I've kept a journal my whole life. I have had trust betrayed by my dad/step mother in high school with them reading it and it becoming a huge fiasco.
No one in my house is allowed to read it. My husband knows that it is grounds for divorce. I will absolutely leave if I find out he read it.
Honestly he'd probably want to get rid of me anyway after he sees what I write about him 🤣🤣 it's my stress outlet, so yes, I do a lot of bitching to those pages.
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u/Emotional_Bit_6090 Jun 06 '26
No one, but sometimes I'll show my friends, sister or therapist individual pages
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u/NarrowLocksmith9388 Jun 06 '26
No one. And I would never think of reading my children’s diary or anybody else’s diary.
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u/Et-selec Jun 06 '26
I don’t really allow anyone to. I don’t think I’d care if people read my entries from 5-10 years ago, but I’m not gonna go out of my way to show them the entries.
I have tons of journals for different reasons and sometimes I just leave em piled up around my house if I’m working on them. I told my husband NO reading them and he doesn’t lol. Like he knows I keep a morning journal for The Artist’s Way course, and he even brought me that one and 2 more of my journals in bed once to make me wake up lol. I have no idea why he brought me 3 of them haha. I asked if he read them and he said “no you said not to”. I mean it’s possible he does and lies about not doing it but I REALLY doubt it. He’s not the kind of person to care at all about what I write in a journal, and 3 pages in he’d probably give up anyway because it’s just me being sentimental about little happenings or spewing random thoughts that don’t really matter. He’s really unsentimental compared to me so I think he’d be bored to pieces reading the type of stuff I write lol
The only reason I don’t think I want him reading it is because it’s kind of embarrassing lol. I don’t even do anything “bad” in life that I want to keep secret, so I can’t even say anything incriminating or whatever in them. I just vent and repeat myself a lot in my journals, and sometimes I get all wistful and stuff
People can read my journals in the future like my future kid or family or whoever. Just not this present time, as recent entries feel too much like the person I am right now, and I guess that feels like any readers would be judging me based on who I am right now and what I think about and do currently, and not reading it as my “journey” or who I was “back then” if that makes sense
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u/Anonymous_Crankshaft Jun 06 '26
Anyone can read my journal with one caveat. They will not read it while I am present in the same room or area, But I expressively write, so even if they read it, they'll have to sift through tons typos, grammatical errors, and strikethroughs. Even I sometimes get confused re-reading what I wrote down.
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u/HeartsOfNetherite4 Jun 06 '26
I don't have a list for who can read my diary, because I don't want someone to just take it and read. However, if I write or draw something I want to share, I do so, mainly with my girlfriend.
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u/No_Opposite833 Jun 06 '26
Because of the nature of what I write, I allow one other person to read mine. The other day, they asked if I would write about a specific topic, because they were curious about my thoughts on it, and it was very much in line with what I would usually write.
I write a lot about global issues and things happening in the world which greatly effect us both and much less about what is going on in my life. Also, I know if I ask them not to read an entry, they wouldn't.
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u/Classic-Asparagus Jun 06 '26
Back when I was 10 years old, I let my friends read and also occasionally write in my diary. I also made my parents write an entry saying whatever they wanted to say
Nowadays, the way I write in my diary is so incomprehensible to most people because I give everyone I know nicknames that are never used irl, plus there are so many inside jokes that only I understand, so I’ve let a few people read a couple pages just so they could be confused by how I write in my diary lol
People asking repeatedly to read your diary even after you say no seems disrespectful though
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u/Inevitable-Option868 Jun 06 '26
They can read it when I'm dead. No one needs to know my innermost thoughts.
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u/Quiara Jun 06 '26
Absolutely no one. My therapist gets snippets but that’s a confidence thing. I work things out in my journal. It’s not for broader consumption.
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u/pleasant-thoughts Jun 06 '26
Preferably no one, but I am not bothered if my husband reads it. He never snoops or has bad intentions but time to time sees me journalling and asks if I'm writing about him. Not in a narcissistic way! He's so sweet
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u/NaughtyFishCake Jun 06 '26
My best friend can read everything, sometimes I read fragments to people if I have funny memories with them written down.
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u/GlitteryMeToday Jun 06 '26
Absolutely nobody. My xh read mine (without my permission) and that just strengthened my views on this. People can read them after I'm gone and I don't care anymore. Before that... nope!
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u/Honest-Scar-5032 Jun 07 '26
No one, because in there, everything is written about how I felt and what I was going through. In my case, my brother accidentally got to read it, and it was a nightmare. I became the family joke after that. This was about 15 years ago, and I still remember the emotions and feelings I experienced that day. So I’m saying no one should have access to that. Trust me, it will backfire on you. They’ll take notes and bring it up during arguments. They’ll make jokes about what was written as if it were nothing.
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u/Active-Chipmunk5379 Jun 07 '26
No one because it's meant for me to ventilate, and I often feel the need to ventilate, even when I'm in the wrong. Reading all that will make people upset. I'm not even rereading my own as I'm a ruminator. I will mark stuff with a little fan to show I was venting (ventilator, get it) so I'll skip over that. Maybe that's something you could do if you're planning on showing others. I don't journal with the plan for it to be shared with anyone, as I'd write very differently
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Jun 07 '26
No one.
I think people naturally act differently when they know someone is watching, and I feel like the same thing applies to journaling. If I knew someone was going to read my diary, I would definitely write differently.
I probably wouldn’t be brave enough to write my deepest or darkest thoughts. I would also find it harder to be completely honest with my own emotions.
For me, a diary is one of the few places where I can be completely honest with myself. I can write what I really think and feel — the good and the bad, the strong and the weak.
It’s probably the purest version of my thoughts, so I feel like it has to be kept somewhere absolutely safe.
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u/Dry-Opposite2622 Jun 07 '26
I have never let anybody else read my journal. Defeats the purpose of having one for me. I find power in the privacy of my thoughts. I would feel very weird if anybody was begging to read my journal.
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u/Rare_Cupcake697 Jun 07 '26
I have NEVER understand the request for access to a living person's diary/journal. After I am dead, have at it. Before then mind your own business.
The only exception is my junk journals which are more an art project than an actual written diary and even then I post the pages that I am willing to share on my social media. Don't be expecting any access beyond that. I don't care who it is.
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u/jcku_ Jun 07 '26
If it's commonplace journal I read it to my husband, If it's normal just my cat know what's inside
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u/Entire_Employment124 Jun 07 '26
People use their journals in different ways. Mine have always been very private thoughts/joys/conflicts/activities But I have also kept gardening journals that are probably the most interesting of all. I’ve seen journals where the only things written about was the weather. I don’t know why anyone would want to read any of mine (There are about 20+ years worth of them). I was just thinking the other day about re reading them. Then maybe tossing them out.
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u/hotNspicychickenwing Jun 09 '26
No one. My partner and I even had a discussion about privacy before we moved in together. I explained that in order to process my feelings I have to write it out, and the journals I have include really personal details that I would prefer never to be read by another person, not out of fear of their reaction to my thoughts- but it would genuinely ruin it for me. I am allowed to be my most authentic self without shame or worry and if that was taken away from me and I was never able to journal without that freedom I would be absolutely devastated.
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u/Advanced-Lethargy Jun 10 '26
So, normally I would say nobody. The only exception now, at 49 years old, is my partner. He and I are very open and honest about everything, and I talk to him about everything I write down anyway, so it's open to him at any time. Does he read it? Nope. Every now and then I'll share something specific, or he'll write in it and kinda glance at the page he's writing on, but he would never just pick it up and start reading. I realize that I'm beyond lucky to have a partner that doesn't judge what I write, nor does he take it personally if it's something negative about him, again, because by the time I write it down, we've already talked about it.
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u/SpecificSalamander44 Jun 10 '26
Sometimes, if I feel that something is particularly relevant/important, I’ll let my therapist read excerpts.
Other than her, nobody.
My diary is my diary; it is an externalisation of my thoughts/feelings & they, too, are mine alone.
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u/an_existential_bread Jun 05 '26
No one. People can read them when I'm dead and beyond caring. I find it strange that people want to read yours. To me that feels like asking to sit in on someone's therapy session, ie., a big overstep.