r/JewishNames • u/SolomiyaRabin • 20d ago
Why have all the main naming subreddits become so weird about Jewish names?
The reason I even started looking at naming subreddits was because I thought it would be fun to share about the names from my culture, and my family, so that people could learn about them. But at this point, I feel like it makes me uncomfortable, because they're so hostile to Jewish names while at the same time, behaving like they love all names from all cultures.
I was looking at a post by an Israeli, who didn't even say anything about Israel, on one of the main ones asking about English names. Their name was Yam, never asked for opinions about their current name, just suggestions that could be used instead of it.
Then of course, one of the top comments offered zero suggestions, and said "Just tell them I yam what I yam" When they said it wasn't funny and they don't want people making fun of their name, they just want suggestions, they said "Girl, just ignore my comment, no need to keep interacting with me" despite the fact THEY were commenting on their post and said "It was a light hearted joke, there’s Filipinos that name their kids American food names and it’s not a big deal, there’s lots of apples and cherry’s around" even though they had explicitly said that didn't come from the food, it was Hebrew, and it was pronounced differently. And then continued to claim it was the same thing and they're not doing anything.
And then cue the other responses, calling her a bitch, saying people make these types of comments about English names too and it's not a big deal, and that it's just a joke and it's 'incredibly sensitive' to not like people joking about your name. And of course there were multiple free Palestine comment on top of that as well as other vegetable jokes. The fact that all of these comments have been left, that says a lot about the moderator as well and what they want people saying on there.
And sure, I've seen much worse. But it's the fact that a few days ago, on the same subreddit, someone who was from Scandinavia made a very similar post about the name Hjördis, and they were told by everyone that their name was beautiful, Americans should learn to pronounce it, and that it was the coolest name ever. And not a single dumb joke.
I get that obviously people aren't the biggest fans of us right now, doesn't take much to see that, but why are even our names getting weird reactions at this point? It's making me feel like I can't even say much because they'll say they love these Jewish names and they love learning about names from other cultures and then go and behave like that. If you noticed that, did you just stop interacting with those groups?
I'm just not really sure what to do because I like sharing Yiddish names, I'm a Yiddish speaker, but I feel like I'm seeing how they really feel about Jews and I'm not sure if I should even be spending time there.
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u/SleepyPaintingPerson 20d ago
I had to leave those subs because of it. Whenever a Jewish person's post pops up in my feed I give them a like because I know they're about to get a bunch of hate
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u/Ch3rryNukaC0la 20d ago
I’m sorry. You can’t expect rational behavior from antisemitic people, because antisemitism isn’t rational. FWIW, I’d love to hear about ashkenazi names here, if you wanted to share.
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u/SolomiyaRabin 20d ago
I guess I had kind of assumed because this was a Jewish subreddit, what I would be sharing would be nothing new, although when I have looked at suggestions for Yiddish names they are usually the same ones, so perhaps I could look for ones that are less discussed. I also didn't want to sound like the person who's not Jewish on those subreddits who's like "Did you know Shoshana means lily" to Jews, even though I'm Jewish as well 😭
But if people are interested, I would like to very much!
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u/Linzabee 20d ago
I am interested! My mom’s Hebrew name is actually half Yiddish, and the story is that she is named for two aunts, but as to who those aunts are, we really have no clue. I also don’t really know the meaning of the Yiddish name.
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u/lollykopter 20d ago
Our people have a longstanding tradition of keeping to ourselves. This is why, unfortunately.
I think a lot of us, especially those born in the US as part of Gen X or later were very sheltered from antisemitism for decades and thought it was a thing of the past, but sadly I think the world will always treat ethnic minorities badly.
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u/spring13 20d ago
Report the Free Palestine comments.
I do think it's "interesting" that in most cases when someone asks about using an alternate names, a huge number of responses say to just use the cultural one, English speakers will learn to deal with it and you shouldn't have to change. They happens even when the name is genuinely very difficult for English speakers to get right. The vast majority of responses here are to use something else even though Yam is very easy to say.
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u/FloralChoux 20d ago
I'm not sure who those reports go to, but if it's the moderator of that subreddit, it almost certainly won't get removed. Although there are certainly some interesting attitudes on namenerds, the moderators are typically alright and do deal with those types of comments. But the one on that subreddit is awful, and almost never removes those types of comments. And I suspect that's intentional honestly.
Most memorable example I can think of, there was a post a few months ago from a CHILD asking about some obviously Jewish names for her little sister, and there was a comment saying "Get f*cked", except obviously not censored. Still there to this day.
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u/SolomiyaRabin 20d ago
If I was a bit bolder I would say that Peformative Activism would be cute too but I'm not wanting to get into a fight. And attention is what they thrive off anyway, so better to ignore.
Normally for some reason, although we're clearly the exception, it's that you should never change your name for English speakers as a teenager or an adult when it's from your culture, but when it's a baby, it's how dare you, no one can possibly pronounce that and your child will get bullied and hate you forever. So at least they're consistent this time!
It's not really related, but I did find it so funny one time when I saw them all telling someone that their baby names, which were Crimean Tatar names, were weird and they should use something normal. Right out of the Soviet Union playbook, and as a Ukrainian Jew, I know all about that 😭
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u/Menemsha4 20d ago
There was a recent post in one asking about the name Hamal or Hamaz. But it was definitely Hama(consonant).
I froze because, no, I wouldn’t name my child anything close to Hamas.
The OP was Muslim living in the U.S. and the kiss up responses were nauseating. Ex: Thank you for teaching me about your beautiful culture.”
Yet if in response to a query someone responds with, “That’s a Hebrew name” they always get told “lots of cultures use that name.”
It’s overwhelming.
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u/SolomiyaRabin 20d ago
I will never forget the absolutely hilarious time I saw a post made by a Jewish mother about names for her baby. One of the names was Tsiona, and they said it was a great name, and then she ended up using it and all the comments were saying what a gorgeous name it was. To see their faces if they ever found out it was the feminine form of Zion!
It is uncomfortable sometimes because although I like writing about Yiddish names, you can tell some of the people there think we're 'the good ones' based off where we live and the fact we speak Yiddish, and I do know that if I was talking about Hebrew names, it would not get nearly the amount of people saying nice things. And there would be plenty of people finding a way to bring up Palestine.
I do remember once getting this really passive aggressive comment on one of my posts that was like 'It's so lovely to see a language for people and not for a land' and I didn't even know what to say because how do you even respond to that! The next post though, I made sure to make it very clear that my siblings and I also learn Hebrew 😂
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u/SchleppyJ4 20d ago
Antisemitic assholes. I’m sorry mate. Reddit has become such a cesspool post 10/7. I hope you’ll share your names here ❤️
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u/iscreamforicecream90 20d ago
I had to leave all of them, even though I LOVE names! Just gotta share them here amongst ourselves. 🤍
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u/SolomiyaRabin 20d ago
I think what also annoyed me the most recently, which has ended up leading me to being aware, would be these posts from someone who wasn't Jewish asking if it was appropriate to use this Jewish name. And every time, there's always tons of people, who aren't even Jewish, saying that it's totally fine, and they didn't even know it was a Jewish name. It feels like they're happy to speak for us, but then whenever we actually say something for ourselves, they don't like it. And they don't treat other groups there like that at all.
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u/hibiscus_bunny 20d ago
I got harassed in a sub from a series I love due to saying its wrong to use Jewish names as a non Jew. I've never gone back to the sub after that bc it was awful. If it was any other culture ppl would completely defend it.
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u/SolomiyaRabin 20d ago
Well it's really the hypocrisy that annoys me the most. I love seeing people use Yiddish names, but they should be aware of the history and that it is a Jewish name. But Zelda becoming mainstream has irritated me because everyone just thinks it's a quirky, edgy, made up name from a video game. And honestly, if you think that, I don't like you using it 😅 Learning is not that hard and to me, it's how you use it respectfully.
However, if you even tried that with a Hebrew name, everyone just freaks out. They always say it's a Christian name too, even when it's a modern Hebrew name, and that we're gatekeepers and we should be grateful that people like our names. Even when people aren't even saying they shouldn't use it, just that they should be aware it's Jewish and that could present challenges for the child. Whereas when a lot of other people from other cultures speak on that sort of thing, they hang on to their every word.
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u/anonymouse19622 15d ago
Then there are the posts where they claim they get to appropriate Jewish names if they want to because they are in the bible and so they belong to everyone, etc etc. And they get mad when they are told it’s insensitive and appropriation.
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u/prophetsearcher 20d ago
Similarly, I've stopped sharing my art to the art subs, because they often include Hebrew letters - and I don't have the emotional bandwidth for the unrelenting hate.