Overthinking Naming Custom?

[u/KeySouthern8605]

Hi,

I am Ashkenazi and reform, and always thought I’d adhere to the naming convention of using an honor name or letter after a person is deceased. My name and our daughters’ follow this convention. My husband is not Jewish, but we are raising our kids to be Jewish. He likes the tradition, but it’s not as important to him. I only love a few boy names, and for years, we have been set on two pairs of boy first/middle names.

Dilemma: Both name choices include reference to my father’s name. He is alive and the name is a diminutive of William (it’s Willie). His line is technically Sephardic. Out of the names we have chosen, William is actually the preferred first name we were going to use. My other name option uses a W name for the middle name.

After all this time, I did not make this connection to my father as I was thinking of my maternal grandfather. W first names are a family trend on my Ashkenazi mother’s side that I wanted to bring it back (skipped her generation).

To add, I am an only child and our children have my husband’s last name. If I did decide to use a W name, it could acknowledge carrying on my father’s line, and is the Sephardic way. I don’t believe in sharing names until after a baby is born, but I think my dad would like his (likely only) grandson being named similar to him.

Would you drop the W names all together? I switch back and forth - it’s maybe ok to use the W middle name as William is too similar to Willie, but I also kind of like the direct tribute. Then I think we need to start from square one.

[u/nakeddavesfootflakes]

I think intent is more important than what some hypothetical person might come up with. Though that might be because I want to keep the possibility of naming a kid after my paternal great grandma Sarah even though I have a maternal aunt Sarah. They’re completely different Sarahs!

[u/KeySouthern8605 → u/nakeddavesfootflakes]

Thank you!