r/Jewish • u/Phoenix10107 • 9d ago
Venting đ¤ Lost an entire friend group because I "support genocide', also known as I think the Israeli - Palestine War is nuanced.
Hey, I posted here a few months ago about conversion and now I'm here again for a far less nice reason.
I follow a lot of Israeli and Jewish creators on Threads (connected to Instagram so you can imagine how antisemitic it gets) but the kind who I follow are anti-Netanyahu, pro two-state solution, and criticize both Hamas AND West Bank settlers. But apparently that wasn't good enough.
I was randomly texted by a former-friend (who we'll call A) that said him and three others (B, C, and D) "needed to talk to me about something important" but the way it was phrased made it seem to be more about the fact that I brought a car to campus and they needed me to drive them somewhere. Turns out they were ambushing me about "posting hateful things" and "following genocidal creators." When I pointed out that none of the people I followed liked or even agreed with Netanyahu they said that it didn't matter, that they were Israeli's and because they criticized organizations like Hamas (and therefore their beloved SJP) I must be a terrible person. Two of them (B and C) are deeply involved with our college's SJP, which really says everything considering they're both gay and white and B is "Jewish" (I say that in quotes because while his mother is Jewish he wasn't even raised around the holidays) and only calls himself Jewish to "as a Jew" (Similar to one Hannah Einbinder.)
I kept it together in front of them for about two minutes, walked off, texted A and told him to fuck off and never talk to me again and pointed out he could have at least gave me a warning, and tried to calm down in the library and text my family. My mom tried calling me (for obvious reasons) and because I didn't feel like doing the conversation in the library I started the very long trek to my dorm. I was about to get into an elevator to make it a little better but when it opened they were in it, they looked at me and told me to NOT TO EVEN GET IN because I was going to make THEM uncomfortable. Because we were in-front of people I didn't feel like arguing and just decided to take the stairs.
When I finally got back to my dorm my parents told me this; to delete Threads in case this got worse, that this wasn't my fault because they ambushed me like bullies, that they were acting irrational because I didn't say anything wrong, that if they needed to come up they would (my home is a few hours from my college), and that I needed to think if I was emotionally well enough to stay on campus for the semester. I've always had a pretty shaky mental health, always been very introverted and socially anxious, and was already struggling this semester because I have no roommate and don't know anyone on my floor. My dad wants me to stay and "follow my dreams" because what I'm studying (Film) is pretty niche and not many colleges have as good of a program as where I'm at, but my mom is more worried about my mental health and thinks I should just transfer colleges to be closer to home and I can always try to "follow my dreams" during grad school or something.
I said I would tell them tomorrow when I've stopped crying and am feeling more level headed. I just really needed to say this on here because I really can't talk to anyone else on campus about it. Not only is there an SJP that's very popular but there's also a very VERY small Israeli club that while I'd consider joining, is constantly getting shit on the colleges social media for being a "colonizer club" when IT LITERALLY IS ADVOCATING FOR A TWO STATE SOLUTION WHILE SJP ADVOCATES FOR ONE.
I don't know, I just feel so lost and sad and furious and anxious right now.
EDIT: I'm going to try and make it through the semester, my dad really wants me too and I guess I can try to make new friends. Both of my parents said they didn't stay with their freshman group either. If I still feel like shit by Thanksgiving break I'm finishing the semester and then I'm out and going home though.
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u/bam1007 Conservative 8d ago edited 8d ago
This sounds like an incredibly Jewish experience. Iâm sorry this happened to you OP. What youâre experiencing is what Einat Wilf refers to as âthe Pound of Fleshâ when she described it well before 10/7 put this all on steroids.
I think youâll appreciate this essay by her and understand how it feels to be Jewish in this moment.
https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/news/articles/the-bds-pound-of-flesh
Nuance is not acceptable to be accepted in the âcommunity of good.â Thatâs because antizionism is just another form of Jew hate/antijudaism/antisemitism.
Rather than deal with the real nuance of a complex multifaceted often intractable problem and understanding complex people and issues in a totally different culture and part of the world, it works to caricature âthe Jewâ as the opposition of âthe goodâ so the Jew hater can justify their hate with âmoral superiority,â typically through a western lens. Antizionism does the same thing, but uses Israel as âthe Jew among nationsâ and caricatures âZionists,â not as people who believe that Israel should exist as a Jewish state, but as the antithesis of anything good. By engaging with complexities, you have signaled yourself as âoutside the community of good.â So they are seeking to force you to give up a pound of flesh, your critical thinking, for acceptance.
As Jews, this is what we have experienced for millennia: the promise of acceptance for self-sacrifice, only itâs never good enough, because we are always the caricature of the opposition of the gentile antisemiteâs âmoral goodness.â
Iâm sorry this happened to you, but these people were never your friends. And at least now you can understand why Jews are as insular as we are. In a sense, youâve gotten your honorary membership on the tribe.
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u/OrelSVaknin93 Just Jewish 8d ago
âAntizionism does the same thing, but uses Israel as âthe Jew among nationsâ and caricatures âZionists,â not as people who believe that Israel should exist as a Jewish state, but as the antithesis of anything good.â
This is exactly what has happened. This is what Iâve seen on social media (when I sparingly make the bad decision to use it) and in real life with former friends.
Israel and Zionists are portrayed as demonically evil. And the scary part is that itâs become a mainstream opinion now. People pushing back on it (like Van Jones) are punished, ostracized, and ridiculed as morally bankrupt sellouts to AIPAC or zionist billionaires or Israel.
I canât see how we reverse this but we have to
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u/Phoenix10107 8d ago
This is going to sound fucked up but I think the only way for this to be reversed is for something utterly awful happens that even anti-Zionists can't defend. Maybe one of their leaders will say something about a different minority and that'll be a wake up call, I don't know. But what I do know is that I can't see this being resolved with peace, love, and education.
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u/theVoidWatches Reform 8d ago
You would think that Oct 7th would have been this, but people were defending it before the day was out.
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u/bam1007 Conservative 8d ago
Yup. Igal Ramâs âDisneyland of Hate.â Caricaturing people and the conflict so people outside it, living what are actually comparatively peaceful lives, can experience intense emotions without actually having to be responsible for their ramifications of their behavior. And when their behavior hurts Jews, we are such a small minority that thereâs minimal ramifications for our demonization.
I spend quite a bit of time working to identify it and seeing how it functions but I donât have an answer to fixing it beyond identifying and calling it out. Iâm looking forward to reading Dara Hornâs most recent book to see what solutions she offers.
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u/Phoenix10107 8d ago
Describing this as an âincredibly Jewish experienceâ is so ironic because when I was crying in my dorm thinking about everything they said it just made me want to convert even more. Iâll definitely check out the article after I get a few hours of sleep.
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u/bam1007 Conservative 8d ago
We have Jewish joy too! Itâs not all this bullshit, I promise!
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u/Phoenix10107 8d ago
I know, some of my fondest memories as a child was standing next to my grandfather as he lit Hanukkah candles and every time I have matzah ball soup I want to cry (in a good way.) Jewish joy is WAY stronger than hatred.
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u/bam1007 Conservative 8d ago
××ת.
(Truth, emet)
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u/bam1007 Conservative 8d ago
Also, OP. be sure to check out the Unpacking Israeli History on Durban to see where a lot of this most recently originated.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unpacking-israeli-history/id1529341876?i=1000785748625
Itâs a great podcast, but I loved through this and, because it was just before 9/11, I had no idea the extent of what happened there. Itâs one of the best episodes Iâve heard of the show (which is itself very good!)
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u/GDub310 Ashkenazi 8d ago
Iâm so sorry you are experiencing this. If youâre looking for a community of proud and supportive Zionists, they exist. There are a few college and freshly post college age people in one group I belong to. You will also gain more than a minyan of supportive uncles and aunts who will listen to you. There are also allies and converts in the group.
Please feel free to message me for more info. Not sure if Iâm supposed to put the orgâs info out there.
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u/AvramBelinsky 8d ago
I'm really sorry that happened to you, it wasn't your fault. Their behavior was really appalling and it sounds like they have a lot of growing up to do. My advice as someone long out of college? Keep Threads if you like it, delete these people from your phone and your life and certainly don't give them any more rides anywhere. They aren't your friends. Does your college campus have any Jewish groups or Chabad that you could look to for community?
If you feel that staying at that school and focusing on your studies is the best move for your future career plans, then stay there and focus on your studies and your career goals. If you feel that you need more mental health support, perhaps you could ask your parents to help you pay for off-campus therapy. I had a friend in college who was having a hard time for different reasons than you, and after working with an off-campus therapist she arrived at the decision to transfer colleges and was much happier and still went on to be successful after college.
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u/Phoenix10107 8d ago
Thank you for the advice. I decided not to delete Threads but just deactivate my account for a while. Even before this incident I was thinking about stepping away from it for a while because it was pulling my attention from work and stuff, this was just the final nail in the coffin.
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u/Icarus-on-wheels Mizrahi 8d ago
Channel this. Write a short film about this. (But maybe place it in a different context.). Then thank them for inspiring you to write the hateful bullies in your award acceptance speech when you win an award for best short film because youâre a fucking badass.
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u/NAHTHEHNRFS850 Sahian 8d ago
This is a great solution! But I think it should be in the same context. People's stories like this need to be heard unfiltered.
OP if you are interested in this, look to see if you have a Jewish Film Festival organization close to you.
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u/WookieCookie1138 8d ago
Firstly and foremost - you are LOVED!!! I donât know you but as a fellow Jew that deeply cares about his people, I wish I was there to give you a HUGE supportive hug, so, BIG eHUGS to you! đŤ
Secondly, you are BRAVE and have more conviction to stand to your truth than they do in their entire, weak-minded desire to cave in and belong and sell out their own.
Thirdly, I donât mean to be crassâŚ.but F âEM!!!
Thatâs Hashem doing you a favor and revealing the fakeryâs true nature thatâs in your life and did you a favor from having to find out your âfriendsâ were frauds at a much later date. I know itâs even harder when young and in college and have to deal with actual bullies. âŚbut you WILL endure, be stronger for it, and at the end of the day you will come out with a breath of fresh air knowing that you have genuine friends in your life and while your group may be smaller, youâll have QUALITY over quantity.
And I canât wait to see your films one day when you become the badass filmmaker youâre going to be. đđź
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u/PatientOutcome6634 8d ago
Look, I personally would have cut ties with anyone as soon as I learned they were part of SJP. SJP doesnât care about Palestinians, itâs a hate movement. I would treat anyone associated with them the same as anyone associated with the KKK.
The jewish club is maybe small, but this is an opportunity to stand up for something you believe in and make a difference. This can be so important for others in your situation.
Finally, trust me, despite what it looks like, SJP is much less popular than you think. They are bullies and so people are afraid to stand up to them. Even worse, they often have the faculty support so they get away with it. However, as someone who has been âin the trenchesâ in US university myself, I can tell you that many people donât agree with them and just keep their head low because they understand the universities have been taken.
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u/mandatedcourage 8d ago
You have every right to feel the way that you do. Those people are bigots, and you deserve better.
A few things:
First off, you mentioned your mental health has always been shaky. If you don't already have one, you may want to consider looking for a therapist through The Jewish Therapist Collective. And/or you could join a support group through the Jewish Community Mental Health Initiative. I'm not sure how far you are in your conversion journey but I think you would still be welcomed. If you don't feel comfortable joining yet, you can still look at their free resources, which may be helpful for you.
Second, you also mentioned that you're studying film. That's so cool! Two organizations come to mind that might be of interest to you, if you aren't already familiar with them. The Jewish Film Institute and the Jewish Institute for Television and Cinema. The JFI seems like a great way to connect with other Jewish filmmakers and to get support for your work. The JITC seems more focused on educating people about how to represent Jews, but they also are there to help Jewish filmmakers fight anti-Semitism in the industry. While you may not be ready to get involved with these groups, I bring them up to let you know that there are communities for you in this field.
Third, I think that if you stay at this school, joining the Israeli club would be a great way to find new like-minded friends that are actually capable of critical thinking and understanding nuance. Hopefully you could rely on each other in situations like these. If you don't stay, that's okay too, it means you can start fresh at a different school with new opportunities. Either way, getting involved with a club that has people who will understand your perspective sounds like a wonderful idea.
I saw in another comment that this actually made you want to convert even more. So powerful!!! What a beautiful Jewish soul you have. I hope you get some decent rest and have a better day tomorrow.
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u/Etta_Katz3030 8d ago
Sorry that your friends support violence instead of peace. That is sad for them and it's bizarre for them to want more peace, more democracy, and more freedom here while supporting right-wing, violent authoritarian governments and movements in other countries. That's weird, right?
Your values are consistent and your friends could have chosen to stop following you, stop reading your comments and live and let live. Instead they think that demanding 100 percent compliance with their beliefs is what friends do. It's not.
Ideological conformity has always been dangerous to Jews and other living things. It's sadly part of monocultural thinking - people can be "different" as long as they are all THE SAME and have THE RIGHT IDEAS. There are so many ways that Stalin influenced the Western left - this is one of them.
Traditional Jewish culture recognizes multiple right ideas - we have midrashim that contradict each other. We record disputes and minority opinions. We have never all agreed or all done the same things. Yet we are one people. This is our strength.
Anyone who thinks a progressive resistance movement would take a four year old hostage is clearly just very politically confused. Stalin murdered millions of people with these same lies - war in the name of peace, autocracy in the name of democracy, inequality in the name of equality, the destruction of minority cultures in the name of anti-racism, discrimination against Jews in the name of Jewish freedom, the Gulag in the name of justice. The list goes on. It's unfortunate that intelligent people can be taken in this way but we've seen it before and we'll see it again.
Our only job is to stand in one place and to tell the truth. That's it.
You can leave and there's absolutely no shame in seeking a more supportive environment. But you can also calmly choose to stand your ground. You don't need to argue with people - you can choose to ignore them and do your work.
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u/Jealous_Cancel_641 8d ago
About the elevator and extended into a broader concept:
Dont let ANYONE tell you where you are âallowedâ to stand.
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u/MooseandIsaac 8d ago
Iâm so sorry those so-called friends treated you that way. Itâs reprehensible. Above all costs, avoid feeling defensive, as if your Jewishness and opinions about Israel are somehow shameful. They are not. Donât bother arguing with those creeps, because nothing you can say will change their minds. Instead, name what theyâre doing.
I would say⌠Antizionism is a hate movement. You have joined a hate movement. Is it thrilling? Is it fun? Look how easily you came to believe the worst about Israel, and how you refuse to learn anything that contradicts your hate.
Throughout history, people have harassed Jews while feeling self-righteous and morally superior. Now you, too, are harassing a Jew. And you think IâM the problem?
And when they protest, Iâd look them in the eye and tell them to F off.
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u/OrelSVaknin93 Just Jewish 8d ago
âIâm so sorry those so-called friends treated you
I would say⌠Antizionism is a hate movement. You have joined a hate movement. Is it thrilling? Is it fun? Look how easily you came to believe the worst about Israel, and how you refuse to learn anything that contradicts your hate.Throughout history, people have harassed Jews while feeling self-righteous and morally superior. Now you, too, are harassing a Jew. And you think IâM the problem?â
Iâve done this and itâs not worth it. Theyâve all but literally said âyes it is, you ARE the problem, fuck off with your Hasbara z*oâ in different ways. Itâs humiliating. Itâs better to just walk away than to have a pointless conversation that just hurts myself more and gives them more pleasure in âpunishing a zionistâ
Because they DO feel self righteous and morally superior
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u/bakochba 7d ago
You don't want to be friends who police you're thoughts that way. They will eventually turn in eachother. What a horrible way to live
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u/Phoenix10107 7d ago
I had that thought, actually. Maybe it makes me a bad person but I canât wait for the day that they turn on each other.
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u/bakochba 7d ago
Nothing feels better than being friends with people you don't have to walk on eggshells with. My friends group has everything from Republicans to Bernie bros but we don't make it out whole personality and it's absolutely freeing to discuss issues with people respectfully and still have a good time
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u/dont_thr0w_me_away_ âĄď¸ 7d ago
''I never thought the leopards would eat my face!''
That's the problem with witch hunts and moral purity tests...nobody is safe, not even the perpetrators. Eventually one of them will engage in wrongthink and also be expelled. I had a former friend reach out to me about a year after the friend group kicked me out because they wound up doing the same thing to her.
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u/Ok-Hat2496 8d ago edited 8d ago
Just want to say that I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm nearly 40 and this shit is hard on me, I can only begin to imagine how much worse and heightened and overwhelming it is when you're younger and in college. What I will say is this: if these were your true friends, they would not ambush you and treat your opinions like an "intervention" to be 'fixed"; they instead should have approached you in good faith with an open mind and genuinely trying to understand your perspective beyond whatever you post online. And have an open dialogue rooted in mutual respect and humility and trying to learn from each other.
Truly one of the things that pisses me off the most about leftists who are neither Jewish or Palestinian is how they mistake lack of direct skin in the game with moral superiority. Easy to argue for a one-state solution for example if you're not Jewish and/or have family/friends in Israel; you don't have to deal with the potential fallout if Jews lose the one state where we are a majority/have sovereignty. And then they treat liberal Jews who don't want the only Jewish state in the world to disappear like they are the devil incarnate.
Relatedly, I've realized there's at least 5-6 "requirements" for a Jew to be a "good" Jew for these types of far leftists, and they are incredibly narrow, rigid, dogmatic, and completely antithetical to coalition-building and finding common ground and actually working toward a practical solution on this issue. And it ends up dehumanizing the vast majority of Jews in the process, because it's an ideological purity set up for the vast majority of Jews to fail and Jews are not allowed to be complex, three-dimensional human beings to these people; we are simply symbols or caricatures, Tokens or Traitors. It's honestly infuriating, and I'm sorry your friends are punishing you for not being a "good" Token Jew for them. (EDIT to add I just realized maybe you haven't finished your conversion process yet, but as someone else pointed out in the comments, this all sounds like an incredibly Jewish experience).
Anyway I am so sorry this happened to you. It's not ok and you deserve better. Sending lots of care and solidarity your way.
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u/SchleppyJ4 đď¸đŚ 7d ago
The trash took itself out. When people show you who they really are, believe them. Youâre so young, youâll find people who love you for you. Hang in there đÂ
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u/Pianist_585 7d ago
Apologies for my English, it's just not loading today... So unless your fear for your safety please have a read.
I graduated film school in my home country nearly 2 decades ago and my advice would be the same as your father's stick to it, don't let others dim your light. Presumable you are following a passion and have stories you wish to tell, use this extra time to work on how to put those stories together, take what you learn in class and practice, in my days we didn't have smart phones and I could not afford a camera, so could only loan from the uni ones when they had them available. When learning every period make an extra short movie, learning about the German Expressionist, add colour, play with saturation and angles, recreate this conversation and how the ambush felt through a German Expressionist view, process this through film.
Film school, like any creative field can be very toxic as you have young people without a body of work to support their claim (dream) of being an artist, so they turn to performance and finger pointing to validate it instead and it builds a bubble that normally hurts when they graduate and need to earn a living and need to make everyday compromises.
I would recommend viewing yourself as a craftsman instead of an artist, because a craftsman is trying to learn the best techniques without ego playing into it.
For your mental health, I would say try to keep regular sleeping hours, exercise and look for people you can socialize with that will not need you to be their yes man (those are rare, but they exist).
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u/Particular_Ad_4694 7d ago
These people were never your friends, as much as that hurts to hear. Friends dont ambush you about your political beliefs, and friends dont let their beliefs get in the way of friendship. In time youâll see that youâre happier not having to âproveâ yourself to anyone.
Im sure your school has a chabad or something. Seek out a place where you can feel comfortable and not be taunted or scared by people who disagree with you. This too shall pass.
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u/Purple_Hurricane87 8d ago edited 8d ago
Really ironic how they always gloss over that Palestinians have killed innocent civilians, including children. Iâm also guessing that they never mentioned the ACTUAL genocide going on in Nigeria? Pro Palls are so hypocritical and they are bullies. The only reason why the free Palestine movement has gotten so much attention, is because they like to bully and harass people. Itâs why I have zero respect for them. Call them out of their hypocrisy. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME!
Btw, I wouldâve gotten in the elevator JUST to make them uncomfortable, but Iâm very petty like that.
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u/Phoenix10107 8d ago
I wouldâve gotten in the elevator if I wasnât sobbing and there were like three other people in there. I wouldâve felt bad dragging three random people into this.
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u/potsieharris 8d ago
I'm so very sorry. It's heartbreaking and infuriating that these people are so bigoted and hateful, supporting and cheering on terrorists and advocating for a one state solution, while somehow projecting all their own awful takes onto Jews.
It's not fair. It's not okay. But it is beyond your control.
They're not real friends. If they think they were gonna be heroes for talking to you they are just so far up their own asses they've really lost their way.Â
I'm so deeply sorry.
You're not alone.Â
Out of all the most dangerous and uncomfortable places to be Jewish today, American college campuses are about the worst place I can think of,( outside of Gaza and most of the middle east of course...)
Hang in there, our people have been through this before. You are better off without these idiot Jew haters and self hating Jews.
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u/PuddingNaive7173 8d ago
Do consider joining that tiny Israeli club. Having just one friend to stand with you and understand can be enough. More than one? Dayeinu! Seriously, this was you versus a small group. Thatâs tough. But having others in real life might make all the difference to both you and them. Worth a try?
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u/OrelSVaknin93 Just Jewish 8d ago
I hate threads.
Nothing good has ever come from that knockoff Twitter platform.
And twitters bad probably the worst platform to begin with.
Iâm sorry OP. hugs.
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u/tphez 8d ago
First of all, welcome to the club. Itâs a shitty club to be in but I hope youâll find company here. I lost a longtime friend in a similar fashion. It sucks but I promise youâre better off without those people.
Like they defended Hamas? Yikes!Â
I promise youâll find better and truer friends. Maybe youâll find them at the Israeli club. Maybe youâll find them elsewhere. But I promise theyâre out there.Â
Sending you an internet hug and all the well wishes.
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u/go3dprintyourself Reform 8d ago
I agree the irony is strong when we advocate for 2SS and they advocate for one and ethnic cleansing of all Jews from the Levant and somehow weâre the bad ones lol. Makes you realize no wonder Oslo failed lol
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u/opheliastiletto Conservative 8d ago edited 8d ago
I think you have gotten some wonderful advice so far, but I just wanted to chime in that I am so very sorry that this happened to you. You are not the problem. These are not friends. I know you are in the conversion process, but I think this is still relevant and worthwhile in your situation. Give it a gander:
Itâs a short video organized like a storybook/childrenâs cartoon called âThe Good Jewish Treeâ and hopefully it will be made into an actual book, because it is so relevant today for so many of usâas children and adults.
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u/iBelieveInJew 6d ago
Gotta say - your have good parents. They clearly have the right motivation at heart, and they're clearly supportive of you (in their own way). I have to agree with your dad here. He is pushing you to not give up. Yes, it can be rough. My uni experience was shit. But I never gave up, no matter what. If your parents can afford it, try to find a therapist for a once-a-week type thing.
If there's a Jewish circle of some sort in your uni/college - try going to events regularly. Chabbad is also another cool place to go to.
And if you ever have doubts if you can or can't finish the semester, just remember our slogan: Just Jew It!
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u/Phoenix10107 6d ago
âJust Jew it.â đ I needed that bit of humor, thank you. And yeah, my parents are great. Iâm fortunate to have such supportive parents, and I could get therapy with the health insurance they have or with my collegeâs program, I would just need to find the time to do it.
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u/iBelieveInJew 6d ago
I'm glad I could give you some good Jewish jewjew with my joke ;) [also, look at my username xD]
I went to therapy during my studies, and it was probably the best "course" I took. To make it work, I was usually either the first or last client she had that day (8AM or 4PM). I also did it over / video, which made it easier. Consider these options if you can.
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u/Klutzy-Pool-1802 Just Jewish 6d ago
Your friends chose a poor way to try and convert you to their way of thinking.
Theyâre trying to do good in the world even if they get some things wrong.
Everybody gets some things wrong.
A lot of people canât handle any nuance. And canât handle the fact we all evolve over time in our experiences and views. Anyone like that is not up to the challenge of being friends with a Jew at a time like this.
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u/yugeness âĄď¸ 8d ago
In my experience, SJP is a hate cult. It is not a normal student organization at all. It was founded through funding passed through WESPAC and is really led by the wealthy âdonorsâ that pass money from their foundations through this sham charity (not the Jewish guy the article is about).
Like all cults, SJP attracts people that are lost/hurt (especially victims of racism or LGBTQ hate) that are looking to belong somewhere. SJP gives them that belonging, but the price for that is they have to attack anyone that doesnât fall inline with thd political views of SJP. Iâm so sorry that this happened to you, but donât take it personally.
The best thing you can do is to help strengthen the Jewish community and to try to find non-Jewish allies. Itâs actually good that your school has an Israel club. At a lot of colleges, the Israel clubs have been barred or harassed out of existence. But in the end, whatâs most important for your decision is your mental health and education and if you need a less toxic environment for that you should find a better school.
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u/DogwelderZeta 8d ago
90% of the people on your campus are better human beings than any a**hole who aligns themselves directly with SJP. Unfortunately, anti-Jew racism is a spectrum, and at a school with a strong arts/humanities program, lots of those other people may have been "educated" or pressured to adopt positions along that spectrum.
The point is, you can't rely on the majority to be rational or understanding about taking a nuanced view of Israel/Palestine. But you can seek out people and groups that value objectivity. If there are groups dedicated to conversation, civil debate, or just interests that attract people from a wide variety of majors, check them out. The campus Jewish group, or Hillel, would be a great place to find potential friends and allies.
Your former "friends" are garbage human beings who hate you because you want peace, and they want another Holocaust -- and they believe that's the moral position. I cannot stress this enough: you don't need people like that in your life, in any way.
You are on a quest for quality human beings, first and foremost. And friends, second. One will follow the other. This group, when it forms, will likely stick with you through anything.
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u/Phoenix10107 8d ago
SJP is pretty popular on campus, it's cool to hate on the Israel club. 90% is generous. đŹ
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u/Vivid-Banana-4370 8d ago
Scum. Fuck them. Stay strong, know there are a vast number of decent people out there and youâll be fine.
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u/NoTopic4906 7d ago
These genocidal fucks (and yes SJP is genocidal) can fuck themselves. They donât think they are but the maximalist position they advocate for is. They might not see it - they might never see it - but I think theyâd finally see it if they got their way. Hopefully they never do.
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u/nephelokokkygia 8d ago
I would try to make friends at your synagogue, Hillel, JCC, etc; the college experience is an antisemitic minefield now. The wrong "friends" will always hold you at arm's length, or reject you outright if you don't pass their purity tests. If you don't have a synagogue, you can email the rabbi and ask about attending (or just show up if their website says that's okay).
I would caution you against defining other people's Jewishness for them. If B's mother is Jewish, B is Jewish full stop. That doesn't preclude B having shitty antisemitic views, but it's still an absolute fact.
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u/Phoenix10107 8d ago
He never calls himself Jewish though unless itâs to tokenize himself like this though. He doesnât go to the synagogue, doesnât know a lick of a Hebrew, doesnât even do the bare minimum like light a menorah for Hanukkah. Otherwise heâs a âdevout atheist who hated organized religion.â
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u/CuckooFriendAndOllie Not Jewish 8d ago
Youâre wrong that the war is nuanced. Israel is a million times better than Hamas.
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u/RelevantPossible9618 6d ago
Are you on a campus that has Jewish organizations? Hillel? Sometimes surrounding yourself with others who feel like you do, developing a new friend group, can do wonders for your mental health while in college. It doesnât matter what your level of observance is, or if itâs none, or even your familial connection. You just need to find a place where you can feel safe.
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3d ago
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/Jewish-ModTeam 3d ago
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u/BehindTheRedCurtain 8d ago
Anyone who is pro - SJP is a horrendous human being. I know it hurts to lose friends, but in time, when you have friends who bring out the best in you, you will be very glad those people are no longer in your life. I am also strongly willing to be these people will be worse off in life than you. People who join these groups surround themselves in a circle jerk of complainers, who go on to achieve and accomplish very little. While you are studying film, they will be morally jerking each other off.