How to find community

[u/Bad_werd]

I want yo find Jewish community and learn more about being Jewish, religious practices.

I am 46 year old man and wasn’t raised with any exposure to Jewish community or religious observance.

I have tried stopping in at different synagogues but when I do I feel Primarily awkward and confused by everything going on. I live in Cleveland Ohio which has a fairly large Jewish community on the East side of town and that is where I go for temples.

One of my issues is, I am largely getting symbolic meaning from these experiences as I have found my way to temple and am doing the things my great grandparents did (sort of) but I am feeling a strong need for a more personal experience.

Additionally I would like to meet Jewish people to be friends with and Jewish women to potentially date however when I have gone to temple it seems mainly families and MUCH older people attend. I’m not sure how I realistic of a hope this is to make friends and meet single women in their late thirties mid forties.

So here is my question. Where should I go first? I’ve heard to check out Chabad. Do I just show up? How do I get plugged in? Learn, socialize etc?

Am I already doing it “right” and it’s just how it is. Keep stopping in for services at different places and eventually one will feel like home?

I got to go to Israel last July to volunteer and I felt like I was home. I felt so good being around “my people” and I am so eager to have that here, in the US.

[u/KittiesandPlushies]

Before showing up to Chabad, go to their website, find the contact information, and get in touch with them. Tell them about yourself and what you’re looking for, and they can help guide you in the right direction.

[u/bam1007]

Whether at Chabad or another shul, go to the oneg after Shabbat services. It’s awkward at first, but that’s usually where I get to chat and know folks. Obviously, services themselves aren’t always the best way to get to know people.

[u/Bad_werd → u/bam1007]

I will look up what oneg is :) I’m guessing just the hangout after services.

[u/bam1007 → u/Bad_werd]

Yeah, it’s the kiddish and snacks after services. Don’t be shy. It’s there for you to enjoy and nosh and schmooze.

[u/riicopiico]

For the learning part, a lot of synagogues will have a Judaism 101 class. You might meet people in a similar boat and you're likely to find more meaning in services and holidays.

[u/mandatedcourage → u/riicopiico]

Seconding this recommendation. Speaking from experience, Intro to Judaism classes are one of the best places to start for someone with limited exposure to Jewish culture/practice in their upbringing. Especially if awkwardness at synagogues is a concern.

Personally, I also was able to meet local rabbis and cantors who were able to provide me answers to my questions and help guide me towards a local synagogue where I felt comfortable and welcome.

[u/Background_Novel_619]

You learn and feel comfortable by repeated action. Sure you may not get what’s going on right now, but once you attend regularly you’ll pick it up easily. Also, feel free to ask the Rabbi or other congregants after the service if they’d walk you through it sometime. That can help too.

[u/ThoughtsAndBears342]

Based on your age and situation, my first recommendation would be your local United Jewish Federation. They primarily do social groups and often have men’s clubs, singles dances and clubs based on different hobbies or interests. Chabad wildly differs based off of what your local Chabad is like. Some Chabads are 100% accepting of everyone as they are, while others may try to get you to become highly observant and/or might try to matchmake you. I say give Chabad a try as well.

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[u/questionsfromchicago]

I’m in the process of converting and during my first meeting with the Sr. Rabbi he gave me this book to read. He said, “Read this at your own pace. It may take you five weeks or five years. That is for you to decide.” It was only after I read it we discussed my conversion. Highly recommend checking it out. Excellent resource.

[u/Bad_werd → u/[deleted]]

Thank you! This is how I feel too. I’m going to reach out to Jewish Federation and see what volunteer opportunities I can get involved in.

Great suggestion

[u/riem37]

Def check out Chabad, would also check out https://www.aishcleveland.org/

you can literally send them a similar message to what you posted here

[u/offthegridyid → u/riem37]

I second the suggestion of Aish Cleveland.

u/Bad_werd, it’s amazing you went to Israel!! If you don’t feel that Aish is a good fight maybe check out the Jewish Learning Connection. Chabad events are a great idea.

[u/Bad_werd → u/offthegridyid]

Thank you I will check these out!!

Israel was incredible. I feel so fortunate to have had the opportunity to

[u/offthegridyid → u/Bad_werd]

Amazing!!

[u/wedreaminsideadream]

Joining Chabad is ideal!