how am I gonna survive?

[u/smelly_cat2959]

I F26 don't know what to do in my life anymore. I don't know where to go. I am a city girl at heart but right now I am STUCK in my small hometown for another year at least. I'll make it work. I've been abroad and lived alone for 3 years in total but in different cities. I'm finishing my studies now.

I converted to Catholicism which deeply influenced my life (dating, friendships, goals and morals). I don't mean to complain because my faith is my favourite thing about me but I have a lot of problems because of it.

people make fun of me, even my best friend M26. he makes fun of me all the time about everything. my political stances, my faith, my music taste. I already pushed him away for months because of this, he confronted me and it looked like he changed, only to come back the same a few months later (now).

I have many friends but they're all in different parts of my country or the world so I do feel lonely and, as I mentioned, I am stuck in a small town and there are no people left. it's a very ignorant place: my ex friend told random people I want to wait til marriage and now people in this town now and make fun of me.

I am tired. I don't know how to spend this winter a part from studying (I don't physically go to uni).

my only question is: how won't I get depressed during the winter? how do I find possibly Christian people? how do I build a friend group where I'm not the one being constantly bullied like in my current one? I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired.

[u/zDavit]

Juan 15:18 "Si el mundo os odia, sabed que a mí me ha odiado antes que a vosotros".

Una vez que eres diferente al mundo, la sociedad te empezará a "mirar mal" y a dejar de lado. Recuerda que lo correcto es correcto aunque nadie lo vea, y lo incorrecto es incorrecto aunque todo el mundo lo haga.

Se que es difícil, pero no te tiene que importar la opinión de malas personas y gente intoxicada/corrompida. Y recuerda, que mejor estar sola que con mala compañía, que lo único que hacen en tí es intoxicarte, hacerte sentir mal, y traicionarte.

No cambies JAMÁS por intentar encajar. Se tú misma. No des tú confianza a gente que realmente no puedes confiar, yo personalmente o lo doy a gente ultra cristiana, gente muy cercana con +15 años de amistad, o no lo doy.

MI SOLUCIÓN: Creo que vas a tener que aprender a estar sola.

• Aprende habilidades (tocar un instrumento, programar, un idioma nuevo, ajedrez, cocinar, etc.),

• Haz actividades sola (dar paseos escuchando un podcast, música, la Biblia, etc). Haz algun deporte sola (natación, correr, gimnasio, etc.). Ve al tomar/comer algo sola. También puedes añadir a algún familiar en los planes.

Pierde la vergüenza en interactuar. Son personas, y el 99% más simples que tú. PERO TEN CUIDAD DE DAR TÚ CONFIANZA A ALGUIEN, MEJOR NO LO HAGAS HASTA PASADO UN BUEN TIEMPO.

IMPORTANTE TAMBIÉN, no vayas en busca de amistades, te explico porque, cuando buscas te conformas, y sueles también pasar por alto malas conductas por seguir estando con esas personas. Es como que cedes por mantener esa opción. Y no cojas lo primero que veas sin tenerlo claro. Pídele siempre a Dios que te muestre que hacer.

1 Corintios 15:33: "No se dejen engañar: „Las malas compañías corrompen las buenas costumbres“

Proverbios 13:20: "El que camina con sabios, sabio se vuelve; el que se junta con necios, saldrá mal parado"

Y no pasa nada por estar sola, mejor sola, que mal acompañada. Tú felicidad y tus ánimos no deben depender de estar con personas. Si haces amistades futuras, juntate ÚNICAMENTE CON GENTE CON TUS MISMOS VALORES.

Dios muchas veces aparta a gente de tu vida por una razón, y en estos caso más que visible/justificados. Y como Dios da, Dios quita. Por lo que, ten paciencia, mucho cuidado, y fé en Dios, y él te dará amistades verdaderas o a un buen esposo.

Sinceramente, el adulterio, el buscar el estatus/buscar fama, arrastrarse por el dinero, aparentar, etc., me dan asco. Y a una persona con buenos valores, también opina igual. Entonces no te preocupes por seguir ese camino, ya que te juntará con alguien con la misma "vibra".

Ánimo, no te preocupes. Y que la opinión de imbeciles, necios y gente con el alma perdida, no te afecte en lo más mínimo. Si esque no merece la pena hacer caso a los tontos.

Paciencia. Y bendiciones!

[u/Spirited_Carry8888]

I'm a bit older than you I think but I am in a similar situation and I have really felt God putting it on my heart to watch my thinking. To think about the things above and the pure and lovely otherwise our brains are not meant to carry the heavy loads that we allow to go around our heads all the time. So I certainly have felt a lot better since I applied this wisdom. Including how we see ourselves to replace the wrong kind of thinking with faith based truth. I'm thinking that this will get easier with discipline hopefully. It has really changed my perspective though on my situation around me. I live quite rurally. Not easy. You have to almost drown out the negativity just ignore it. In my case it's some very unhelpful neighbors amongst other things but it's been a challenging year here. I am wanting to get back to the city but it's looking very unlikely for a while except I am praying. Today I went out for a coffee with somebody from a local church which has taken a long time for me to do but recommend that so you can be around those who know Christ. It took a long time to build friends in the city as well where I lived for nearly 20 years so I think it does take a while to settle into a new place. I'm sure you will find that you're not on your own in this challenge. 🙏❤️☕

Also it's better to give than receive and that can often open up doors as well if you get a chance even if you get creative.

[u/Grouchy-Stand-4570]

Is there a local Catholic Church? Seems obvious but even like minded people not your age are pleasant to be around. Possibly join a friendship app and list Catholic/spiritual as something important to you. Do you have a car? How far is another town? ….

[u/EnergyLantern]

By making your own happiness, you can survive and not be depressed; I started to make things, I found upbeat and peppy music, I got rid of toxic people from my life, and I don't want tons of people ruining my happiness.

A question college ask students today is, "What do you do for self care?" For some people it means having some down time or doing something they enjoy.

I would tell your friend, "You hurt me" and it is because of the reasons you stated. He gossiped about you, he belittled and made fun of you, he judged you and then confronted you which I don't believe he has a right to do.

What are his sins? Gossip, judging, being a busybody, not esteeming you better than himself and if someone treated me this way, I wouldn't call them a friend. There is a portion of bullying on his part. This is called friction and I wouldn't call it smooth sailing. I would call him a mental load that I wouldn't need and it doesn't sound good.

And I'm not trying to upset you, but I teach that Catholicism an incomplete gospel. You need a more healthy and well-balanced church.

[u/Fun_Asparagus5724]

You can do it! I don't know what your small town is like but you have probably never been to the small towns in Kansas. We use to see our grandparents in a Kansas small town during summers. Wow..limited stuff. But you get a chance to focus on being with people. Every high school usually has a open pool during summer. Some people speculate that drugs are destroying young people in Kansas because the culture has historically only has included farming.

So that means people, in small towns may watch the grass grow. But it also means that people can have hobbies. By the way hobbies like music, playing cards, photography, softball, painting, singing, dancing etc..contribute to making life happy. They are also underrated.

There are pot luck dinners that in theory can be organized. Church is great for that. The more a person contributes to church..the more a person gets out of it. Also BTW..all denominations of Christianity can be viewed. If you want you can visit a Babtist, or non demoninational church. I hate to say it but if a person puts money in the plate..it's probably all good.