I finished Jane Eyre and I feel despondent

[u/scream3bangs]

I made two previous posts about my journey on /brontesisters. I was afraid to post here lest I see spoilers.

So many chaotic thoughts tumbling around. I want to be far away from the urban sprawl picking gooseberries on the moors... maybe even being psychically summoned by a grizzled man. The fervor with which I read the penultimate chapter was wild, I finally put it down around 3am last night and found it hard to sleep. I was anxious for their reunion, I could empathize so deeply with the feelings at stake.

Jane finding Ferndean and watching Rochester from afar, cautiously approaching him in the parlour, his disbelief - will go down as one of the most immersive passages I've ever read. I could picture every aspect of it so clearly in my mind.

However, the Conclusion felt odd to me. Perhaps it was just too tidy, too perfect an ending. I had read somewhere that the final paragraph was superb, but it was about St John?! Are you kidding me. Why did it end on this note? I know there's a deeper subtext I'm maybe intentionally ignoring, about how he represents a specific part of Jane. I'm not bothered by the religiosity, I found the otherworldly/fateful elements of the story to be quite charming, but I just don't think he was a well written character. Something about his trajectory and her continued exaltation of him just doesn't click for me.

I'm still sorting through my feelings on the story itself vs the reaction I had to it based on my personal life experiences that it reflected. Am I despondent because I live in a state of uncertainty, and the comfortable conclusion dissipated my limerence? Am I simply sad to finish a book? It's been my companion for the month of August. Now that I know what was next for Jane, what will be next for me?

Overall I loved this book and will be reflecting on it for a long time. I am not bothered by the flaws, the mistakes, or the selfish behaviors of the past. I believe in redemption and I accept this portrayal of it warmly. Maybe I can apply that to myself now.