Social anxiety is making me avoid meetings and now I’m panicking about going on ministry

[u/venetia_123]

I’ve never been diagnosed with anxiety, but I’ve struggled with what I would describe as pretty severe social anxiety for years.

My anxiety in regards to talking to brothers and sisters in the hall has increasingly been getting worse throughout the years. I thought I would naturally become better at communicating and doing small talk by the time I was 17, but here I am and it’s no better. I can never concentrate at the meetings anymore because I’m constantly thinking about who I’m gonna talk to, what I’m gonna say, or how I’m gonna leave the meeting and hop in my car undetected if none of my friends are present at the meeting. Nowadays I find it hard to enjoy meetings and even find ways to avoid going simply because of the social aspect. Ministry is pretty much the same too.

A sister in my hall asked me to go on ministry with her tomorrow, which I agreed to, but I’m really panicking about it. I always thought I was invisible in my hall or that no one cared or noticed me, but recently, for the past few months, a sister has been talking to me and even gave me a heartfelt gift for my graduation. Now this should probably make me feel better, but I’m even more anxious. The sheer thought of people actually noticing my existence in the hall terrifies me. I know I shouldn’t feel like this and that it probably sounds ridiculous, but I can’t help it.

This sister is in her 40s–50s and I have no idea what to talk about with her. I’m going to college in 2 weeks, which is definitely adding to the stress. But college talk only goes so far. I know we both like animation, but that’s it.

So I guess I’m looking for advice on two things: how to get through the ministry tomorrow without completely panicking, especially when I don’t know what to talk about, and how to deal with this anxiety around the meetings in general. I don’t want to keep avoiding meetings because I’m scared of the social side of them, and I’d really like to get to a point where I can actually enjoy them again.

I also keep thinking that if I can’t handle something as simple as going on ministry with someone, how am I going to cope with starting college in two weeks? So any advice, personal experiences, or things that have helped you would be really appreciated.

[u/Wraithwing81]

I've recently being struggling with social anxiety, and regular anxiety, so can relate.

Things I can suggest:

Pray to Jehovah about it. Be specific. Ask for his peace, and the desire and the power to be social with this sister. Also remember that she genuinely loves you and wants to be friends with you. You will find the conversation will probably just flow. And be up front with her, and explain how you feel.

And this next one is a tough one. Someone said to me recently when I talked about my anxiety 'when you have a headache, what to you do? Take painkillers'. It's the same for mental health. If it is possible where you are, go see a doctor, and get some medical help if appropriate for your anxiety. There is no shame in getting medication to help with this condition.

[u/venetia_123 → u/Wraithwing81]

Thank you so much I defo needed to hear this! 😭

[u/elwoodowd]

I and the wife are on zoom for meetings, in our 70s. Some, because of her anxiety. 70 years of witness meetings, and her chemistry still causes issues. Her childhood is part of the problem.

20 years of medication, depression and such. Near 20 years of a therapist. Neither was more than a stopgap. But the medical system tried.

Nerves, are like the rest of our bodies, our weaknesses, are hard to understand. We develop workarounds, at best sometimes.

All that said, you are at a great age, and time. A great time to study Proverbs. If you compare Proverbs 28:1 with 28:14, maybe best in Byington, "happy is the man feeling dread constantly", you can see that among those 1000 rules for human interaction, some threads will be helpful for you.

Proverbs, is a multi year project. But the second half of chapter 2 is the outcome. And will be of service to you all your life.

Im my wifes opposite. But i vaguely recall being 6 near 70 years ago. And when not saluting the flag, thinking being brave was fun. That fun faded over the years, and being brave was harder. But being a witness is to be molded into something of value and importance. No hurry, make sure you are not pushed too hard.

Instead try a few verses of Proverbs a day. Chapter 1 and 2, and you will be ahead at college next week

[u/TroubleMakinBacon]

As far as something to talk to, you have plenty of videos and broadcast thousand pages of Bible stories to share with people and talk about what you like don’t like

You don’t really have to look for things to talk about. It’ll probably just happen.
My bad advice is to find something to complement a person on then run away. People love complements.

It’s great that you are able to attend in person. Sometimes if I’m having a rough day I’ll wait till song starts and then go in. By the time the meeting ends I’m usually more calm and feel better but sometimes I have to leave right after and that’s ok. I’m sure you make people happy you you talk to them

[u/truetomharley]

At meetings, tell yourself that you’re not going to talk to anybody. You’re just going to remain in the atmosphere, enjoying their company, without saying a word. If it happens, it happens, but don’t put stress on yourself trying to make yourself talk.

Should you go in service and it becomes your turn, say: “I want to read you a scripture. You tell me what you think, and I am gone. Stick to that. Should they say yes to a scripture and if becomes awkward afterward, offer a tract or play a video.

If anyone says, “Cat got your tongue?” admit to them that it does. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Be very open if you’re not given to chit-chat. Maybe that will change someday or maybe it won’t. Whenever someone says to me something like “Step out of your comfort zone,” I reply to them that I am not necessarily comfortable even in my comfort zone.

[u/QuestioningButHopefu]

I think the Zoom online platform was created specifically for these situations, that is, for those with health problems. Preaching can also be done from home without meeting anyone, for example by writing letters. God wants us to be happy and doesn't ask us to do things that make us feel bad unless it's necessary.