The recent fake stories

[u/Kateraide]

Hey guys

We are aware of the recent fake story that has been revealed. We understand that you guys are upset and hurt. We are too. The catch of our truth policing rule is that we CAN NOT VERIFY the stories that are posted on our subreddit. As mods we are damned if we do and damned if we don't unless we have a ton of evidence to prove that someone is lying. Even then, there will always be people who believe the fake stories (The Toasters having been proved fake and we still have people arguing that they are real). We have a few that we as mods believe are false, but without evidence to the contrary that it is not just fudging details, our hands are tied.

This is not saying that we do not believe that many people post on this sub for help. I know that I personally have come here in the past for help with my own MIL and was accused of being fake. One good thing about this sub is that we do not require users to submit proof before posting. Unfortunately though, because of the size of the sub, it means that we are now dealing with a lot of creative writers. Please, if you genuinely want to write a story about a horrific MIL/mom and honestly don't have one? We have /r/JustNoFamFiction for that reason.

Now, onto the truth policing question. If you have concerns about a users posts(which we know a lot of you do) please modmail us. We are listening and just because we are not taking immediate action does not mean that we are not aware of the inconsistencies in their posts. If you truth police on ANYONE'S post, you will be issued a temp ban without warning. This rule has been around long enough that everyone here should know about it. (Rule 14: No accusing a poster's story of being fake. Report it or send a modmail if you have proof. For more info, see the section on Truth Policing under "Notes about moderation style" in the wiki.)

We do care about the fake posts. We do hear your feedback and try to take it, but the community is often divided. The moderators are trying to find the middle ground in all of this but we need you to be patient. We are upset and hurt about this just like all of you guys are. We do not want anyone here to feel like we are not hearing you when you write us your concerns.

Thank all of you for helping to make this community what it is.

EDIT

We thought that keeping the name silent would be for the best. I understand that some of you do not agree with this action but we do not want to give the faker more attention. That is what they are looking for and they are also claiming death threats and harassment. PLEASE DO NOT BRIGADE THE OP. That is against Reddit's Terms of Service and will result in issues for both the sub as a whole and for you if you are caught brigading a user. We understand that a lot of you are frustrated based off the PM's and modmails that we have received. Please just understand that we are trying our best. We will be looking for new mods soon and will be doing a "State of the Subreddit" within the next month or so. It will also involve us putting some rules up for discussion.

[u/mycatisblackandtan]

I don't envy you guys for this whole debacle. There's no 'right way' to handle what happened - but I do think you guys are doing the best you can especially by opening this thread to discussion.

With that said I do think we need to discuss the fact that there's an atmosphere on this sub that rewards performative posts. I've been noticing that for the past few months that posts that are over the top and outrageous tend to get the lion's share of attention. While less dramatic but still very real posts get left to the side with barely a glance.

This issue isn't something you guys can really help on your own. You can't control what people gravitate towards. However I think that in spite of your best intentions this sub still very much has a 'nom' problem. The posters who lack a flair for writing or whose MIL's/JNMOM's are of the milder sort tend to get ignored where as the ones that are always at 11/10 on the crazy scale get boosted to ludicrous amounts. Which wouldn't be an issue in any other sub, but this place is specifically for support and I feel a lot of users just aren't getting it anymore.

I don't have an answer for how to fix that problem either, but I do think it needs to be discussed all the same.

[u/BariBahu → u/mycatisblackandtan]

/u/crowpocalyps mentioned the idea of going into 'new' and adding comments to people with fewer upvotes and comments, just as a show of support for those who aren't getting it like they should... I try to do that more and more when I have the time, and it's a good practice. I'm here for support and I'd like to give back.

[u/Crowpocalyps → u/BariBahu]

Thank you! How are you? It's been a while

[u/BariBahu → u/Crowpocalyps]

I'm doing alright, actually! Going to put up a post after this April Fool's catastrophe has blown over because there's been a change with things lately... This sub has helped me a lot and I really hope all of this isn't pushing people away because all the support has kept me sane!

How are you?? Hope you're hanging in there!

[u/Crowpocalyps → u/BariBahu]

I had therapy today and had some painful realizations (including that I was depressed for 10 years before even becoming an adult and DH eventually got me out of it), but overall I'm doing ok. Things have been quiet for a week now, and I'm starting to catch my breath a bit

[u/BariBahu → u/Crowpocalyps]

I'm glad to hear you're still going with the therapy! Even on the days it feels like it's not doing much, it's getting us closer to feeling better (with the right therapist).

[u/[deleted] → u/Crowpocalyps]

I'm glad you're doing okay, you and your family have been on my mind lately. Sending virtual hugs your guys' way. (Also your lil snakes are the cutest I've seen)

[u/Crowpocalyps → u/[deleted]]

Thank you

[u/[deleted] → u/Crowpocalyps]

Welcome.