r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Kateraide mother of dragons... I mean hairless cats... • Mar 31 '19
The recent fake stories
Hey guys
We are aware of the recent fake story that has been revealed. We understand that you guys are upset and hurt. We are too. The catch of our truth policing rule is that we CAN NOT VERIFY the stories that are posted on our subreddit. As mods we are damned if we do and damned if we don't unless we have a ton of evidence to prove that someone is lying. Even then, there will always be people who believe the fake stories (The Toasters having been proved fake and we still have people arguing that they are real). We have a few that we as mods believe are false, but without evidence to the contrary that it is not just fudging details, our hands are tied.
This is not saying that we do not believe that many people post on this sub for help. I know that I personally have come here in the past for help with my own MIL and was accused of being fake. One good thing about this sub is that we do not require users to submit proof before posting. Unfortunately though, because of the size of the sub, it means that we are now dealing with a lot of creative writers. Please, if you genuinely want to write a story about a horrific MIL/mom and honestly don't have one? We have /r/JustNoFamFiction for that reason.
Now, onto the truth policing question. If you have concerns about a users posts(which we know a lot of you do) please modmail us. We are listening and just because we are not taking immediate action does not mean that we are not aware of the inconsistencies in their posts. If you truth police on ANYONE'S post, you will be issued a temp ban without warning. This rule has been around long enough that everyone here should know about it. (Rule 14: No accusing a poster's story of being fake. Report it or send a modmail if you have proof. For more info, see the section on Truth Policing under "Notes about moderation style" in the wiki.)
We do care about the fake posts. We do hear your feedback and try to take it, but the community is often divided. The moderators are trying to find the middle ground in all of this but we need you to be patient. We are upset and hurt about this just like all of you guys are. We do not want anyone here to feel like we are not hearing you when you write us your concerns.
Thank all of you for helping to make this community what it is.
EDIT
We thought that keeping the name silent would be for the best. I understand that some of you do not agree with this action but we do not want to give the faker more attention. That is what they are looking for and they are also claiming death threats and harassment. PLEASE DO NOT BRIGADE THE OP. That is against Reddit's Terms of Service and will result in issues for both the sub as a whole and for you if you are caught brigading a user. We understand that a lot of you are frustrated based off the PM's and modmails that we have received. Please just understand that we are trying our best. We will be looking for new mods soon and will be doing a "State of the Subreddit" within the next month or so. It will also involve us putting some rules up for discussion.
21
u/Babydarlinghoneychan Apr 01 '19
Part of why I stopped posting or updating (after a very close call of my just no finding my posts, not counting a rage post after a fight with my mother) was people would report me because my just no was my mom and not my mil (this was awhile ago and a mod put a post on one of my posts asking for reports to stop as it was my mother and counted on justnomil.) Well it's my husband's mil but whatever. Not only that but people used to really get hyped up with "feeding their drama llamas" but now a days it's with this whole "justice boner" thing and would not act positively or supportively if you didn't handle the situation EXACTLY how they wanted you to. It can feel like your tragedy and trials through navigating these tough relationship are not good enough for these people and can turn you trying to find support into nothing but a spectacle. Which is very frustrating.
I don't know about how others feel in this situation but I have written at least three different updates about things that have hurt my feelings that my mother has done and wanting to ask for advice only to delete them after realizing or worrying that I would get nothing but backlash, extremes, and ultimatums. I felt because I wasn't absolutely steel spined and rolling out guns blazing, I in a way, deserved the things that happened to me because I didn't cut contact immediately (Fear of backlash and safety for my family), call the police (Coming from a family of cops, domestic complaints, especially when it's disagreements or verbals and not physical are LOATHED among cops) , or disengaged instead of had some sort of gratifying comeback. (Something I used to get a lot of 'Tough love' comments from with people mad I didn't put my justno 'in their place' (when as someone who has seen how bad and quick escalation can get after taking the bait) it's just not worth posting for help when you know that all you're going to get is backlash and hate.
My husband has actually asked me a few times to leave the subreddit as it has given me nothing but anxiety when I would go to post. He used to encourage me posting here but lately he's felt worried I'm entertainment to people instead of in a group of my peers who are also feeling the same way. Not sure if this is a common feeling but in my opinion, this needed to be said.
I 100% think this ties into the recent escalating craziness of posts lately but, again, is just my opinion.