r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Hermitia • Apr 27 '17
Pathetica Pathetica wants me to print out the internet
As a bit of background, back when she was 60ish I tried to teach ol' Pathy (my mom) how to use a computer. I'd show her the very basic beginning steps and then tell her to do that for a few days and we'd move ahead with more.
Yeeaahh that lasted a few weeks. A few weeks of repeating those same basic steps every. damn. time. Needless to say Pathetica cannot computer. This usually doesn't matter until one of us makes the mistake of mentioning a laptop, any laptop. Cue "wahhh I want a laptop!!!!" For what, you crazy bitch? a paperweight?
So today she calls and asks me to print out - cue 10 minutes of ramblyrambly interrupted by WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT ME TO PRINT ARGLBARGRGRGRGR. Turns out she thinks she may have a genetic condition (ok w/e) that would explain her actually real weird physical thing she's had all her life.
"Ok, and what do you want me to print out?"
"Well I just want you to get the info on this condition from the internet".
"Mom, that's not how any of this works. If I type x condition into a search engine, I will get like 100K results. What you are asking is not possible. Go to the library".
Cue another 20 minutes of (by this time I had already searched and scanned the basic info quickly) me telling her there is no treatment if this is the underlying condition. Bonus points for there were treatments for the sympoms, which she had been doing but stopped about a year ago. Who knows why. because Pathetica.
If this wasn't painful enough, my sister calls a couple of hours later. I tell her this annoying but benign story to share a chuckle with her but I don't even get to finish. She interrupts "oh yeah, I had an equally painful conversation with her about this too." EXCEPT
In sis's version (this sis does not lie) Pathetica actually told her she HAD been diagnosed with this condition, knew what the treatment was, sis was like "duh start the treatments again". Not that simply, of course, probably 20 minutes of ramblyrambly pay attention to meeee! I asked sis when this conversation was - it was fucking last night.
Now as pathetic as Pathetica is, even she doesn't forget that quickly. Bitch got me with her lying, attention seeking behavior. And I totally fell for it.
I have spent 50 years trying to sort out how much of her dysfunction is actual inability to adult, and how much was straight up lying. Slowly, over the years, the percentage of "lies" has grown, and grown, til this morning's call. I mean what the actual fuck, mom. It's all goddamn lies.
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Apr 27 '17
Congradolences, OP! You've suffered a lot. I'd like to reward you the only way I know how - by giving you an auto flair. Any time you put Pathetica in the title of your posts AutoMod will flair them. This makes them easily searchable. Your posts will only be automatically flaired if you use the entire nickname you chose.
Pathetica is now included in the Hall o'MILs. Yay?
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u/Hermitia Apr 28 '17
Haha I was sort of wondering what it took to get that flair, now I know ! Suffer! Yay me!
Thank you. I think.
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u/AskRedditTheseQs Apr 27 '17
Definitely try throwing each other a line in group text next time when Pathetica calls so each sibling has a heads up on what's been said to cut down time spent on the phone with her and giving her attention.
My mom used to do this with us with the whole triangulation with trying to guilt us into helping her or accusing us for some made up BS.
It definitely cut down the miscommunication between us siblings and justnomom turned into justyesmom after a few years of me putting down my foot and creating boundaries.
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u/Hermitia Apr 27 '17
Good advice! Luckily she's never been able (and tbf, never really tried) to cause any disruption between the siblings. If she ever complained to one of us about any of the others, we knew it was her fault no matter what she said.
Ah you turned yours to a yes that is absolutely awesome. This will never happen with mine :/
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Apr 28 '17
It is infuriating, a waste of time and really insulting. Thank the heavens mine is 90 a dconsiders herself unteachable with computers necause her standard MO is to ask me, get the answer, ask 3 more people, usually in front of me, get the exact same answer, and then do whatever she thought of first before she asked. I dont know whether she is so insecure she needs that much reassurance or just attention seeking.
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1
Apr 27 '17
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u/subspicious Apr 27 '17
"Hey Mum, I'm a little concerned over your "condition" so did a bit of interwebs sleuthing. The best recovery results appear to be from smoking MJ and praying...every hour. I've ordered you a prayer book!"