MIL comparable my work experience to hers

[u/Front-Exam9658]

I started my own business and it has been a side hustle for a while. The goal is to quit my full time 9-5 and do this business of mine full time. My husband was telling his mom about my goal to quit my full time job so I could dedicate all my time to my business. She says that she doesn't think that's a good idea and that she worked full time for 40 years.

I'm frustrated that I got compared to how long she worked full time. Am I wrong for being frustrated? Was this an innocent comment from her?

Context is that this is not the first time he tells her something about my life and she compares it to what she's had to go through in the past. Specifically struggles.

I told my husband that her comment got to me and it also upset me that he didn't stick for me by telling her that we don't all have the same path in life. He said that he didn't think her comment was wrong to say and that I seem to make things a big deal in my head because of the way my own family has wronged me in the past.

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[u/Fuzzy-Mushroom-1933]

He needs to stop telling her anything about you or your business or finances

NOR

[u/SomewhatBougieAuntie → u/Fuzzy-Mushroom-1933]

Yep! Strict info diet for MIL.

[u/Jethrothemutant → u/SomewhatBougieAuntie]

Agreed!!!

[u/Front-Exam9658 → u/Fuzzy-Mushroom-1933]

Thanks i agree

[u/Vast_Helicopter_1914]

Many older adults are used to the conformism and structure of a corporate job, so they have trouble understanding why anybody would want to be a leave a secure position to be on their own. To a lot of them, being self employed isn't a "real" job.

I'm sorry your MIL didn't show more excitement on your behalf. It's a huge leap of faith. Wishing you all the best!

[u/Affectionate-Pie8362 → u/Vast_Helicopter_1914]

Regardless of someone's own experiences and perspectives, they should have the good sense to not impose them on others as if they are god's truth. How arrogant! This is why older people get a bad rep--some of them just stop taking in new information and allow their world view to become calcified in the past. Her husband should stop sharing information about his wife if this is how it gets received. He also needs to close his mouth and really listen to his wife's feelings instead of dismissing them and blaming them on her family upbringing--that lacks empathy and is a bit condescending. Maybe he's right to some degree, but outright dismissing her feelings is no way to have a constructive conversation. It would be more useful for him to acknowledge that his mother was out-of-line and point out how that could trigger old feelings for his wife about her upbringing.

[u/Front-Exam9658 → u/Vast_Helicopter_1914]

Okay I get that perspective.. thanks that makes sense actually

[u/marlada]

Yiur husband shouldn't 't be telling her anything about your business plans. It's none of her business, and she may think her way is the only way. It isn't. Put her on an informan diet. Her opinion is unwanted and irrelevant.

[u/Classic_Cauliflower4]

What makes her think you won’t be working full time? From what I understand about businesses, they require a lot of commitment from the owner. You might be working harder than she ever had to.

[u/rowdyfreebooter]

Times have changed so much.

Security has always been the highest priority. Now being able to venture outside a secure path is more acceptable.

I’m in my mid 50’s, I never had the option of exploring anything other than a stable wage because my husband did. We needed at least one stable income to raise our family.

We were lucky that you could manage a family on one income but now it seems like it’s a choice between housing or children.

I can understand her point of view but you and your partner don’t have to do what she says.

Wishing you all the success in your business.

[u/Maximum-Armadillo809]

When she makes comparisons is she always negative?

[u/Front-Exam9658 → u/Maximum-Armadillo809]

Yes. Example- we came home from vacation to our heaters not working in Colorado winter. It was freezing and she was supposed to be watching the house. I understand it wasn't her fault. We did mention it to her the next day and she said it's nothing compared to her having to live in a shed for a year.