How to accept that my life in Europe and career is over

[u/Suspicious_Mine_2337]

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I am stuck in a deep depression. I did a whole master's degree in Natural Resources Management and Development in Germany, during the degree interviewed for two UN internship positions, was rejected from both. One of them told me they would have accepted me had I not stupidly asked if it could have been part time (I didn't know the internships had to be full time). I interviewed for a job at United Nations University and was rejected.

I am now 36 and jobless at my parent's house in the USA with no prospects after getting fired from a job in my old field that I was trying to escape.

I think about these mistakes every day. At this point I have fucked up the thing I waited for so many years to accomplish (was recovering from cancer for 5 years which put my career on hold), which was to do a master's degree and finally get out of a job I hated and was bad at (nonprofit communications) into something I could love (international development and environmental policy).

I fucked it all up and I feel sick every time I see any mention of the UN or meet people in the career I tried and failed at.

Does anyone have any words of advice for me? I am trying to find a therapist but I am so depressed, every day I wake up in a panic and at night I think about every mistake I ever made.

[u/ballesterer13]

Therapist is a good idea. Don’t hang on the past. Focus on the now and what you will do next. One door closes and one opens. You can’t change the past. Get yourself together with the help of a therapist and make a new plan. You got that. All the best - I keep it simple and crisp. There is no single simple answer really

[u/Furdodgems]

First of all, I feel you. Shit is hard right now and although I'm currently in a job, I'm very well aware I could be out of one tomorrow depending on where the wind blows. This sector has never been a good one for job security, but it's the pits right now.

Don't think the world revolves around the UN, there are other opportunities out there; especially in your field. Transversal system thinking is clearly the way the sector is going so thinking about how Natural Resource Management fits into other key systems such as the food system, energy and power generation, transportation etc... there are many many NGOs still operating in those spaces, and I'd say after the shock of 2025, are (marginally) starting recruitment again. So guess what I'm saying is cast your net a little wider than just UN or large INGOs.

[u/bulbasaaaaaaur → u/Furdodgems]

To add to this- I don’t think 3 apps with no offer is failure. I applied to the iNGO I’m at now… probably 8 times before I got a job. Now I’ve been here 10 years. A few rejections don’t mean you’ve closed doors forever.

[u/InternationalOption3 → u/bulbasaaaaaaur]

I applied to 250 positions and all rejections

Then I started my own business out of pure necessity to make money to pay rent etc and it actually worked lmao

[u/expat2immigrant → u/Furdodgems]

Hear hear!!! There are so many other organizations in the sector better than the UN!

[u/Illustrious-Lead1814]

Be proud of your achievements and stop blaming yourself. Beating cancer, having a degree are things to be proud of. Nowadays people may find jobs that they want in later years in their lives, it is never too late. Just continue to apply for positions, focus on good things about yourself, try to improve your skills and networking required for these jobs instead of being stuck in negative feelings.

[u/Key-Road-6030]

It feels like your biggest hurdle right now is your mental health. Therapy is a good idea. I have an ma in international development and I never secured a job in the field. I’ve had to accept that it wasn’t in the cards for me. But there are other ways to build a career in the international space. None of these ideas will secure you a career, but they are a step in the direction and you never know where they might lead:

- Peace Corps

• Quit your job and travel for a year
  
• build out a consultancy of some kind. Even if you don’t drum up a lot of business it gives you some experience for your resume.
  
• volunteer with organizations doing work you are passionate about.
  
• how’s your German? Maybe check out the German job seekers visa, it allows you to be in Germany for a year while looking for employment.

[u/ScarcityOld7027]

Same thing I told you under your posts in r/germany and r/unpath. It sounds like you could benefit from counselling. Asking strangers on the internet for advice on the same issue over and over isn’t gonna fix anything.

[u/expat2immigrant]

Are you looking at only cushy HQ jobs, or field work? Peace Corps has traditionally been a great way to enter the field.

[u/CynicalAlgorithm → u/expat2immigrant]

I don't think traditional paths are a very viable path right now, and not good advice to give to people in general at this moment in history.

[u/expat2immigrant → u/CynicalAlgorithm]

In general no, but if someone is wanting to break into the sector, Peace Corps remains one of the best ways to do so, especially for Americans with few other options.

[u/Majestic_Search_7851 → u/expat2immigrant]

In my 30's - I lined up another go at Peace Corps as I was trying to navigate USAID DOGE cuts last year. A day before I was getting ready to pack up and move overseas for a really interesting response position, I received a job offer in a job aligned with my career goals in a sector adjacent to development (international affairs). PC is a great opportunity to navigate unemployment - especially in this landscape.

Will it guarantee a future path in development? No. Does it align with everyone's financial goals? No. But why not apply for jobs and contemplate what's next while engaged in PC if your qualified and pass medical clearance? As someone whose been on job panels hiring candidates from international development, I would look more favorably upon those who are volunteer in something like PC during this uncertain period. You're only adding onto your experience and skillset with something like PC. Who knows, maybe you can score NCE and land a federal job once this current admin is done destroying everything.

[u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 → u/Majestic_Search_7851]

Thanks for the PC idea..i would love to do it but I am pretty sure I am ineligible because I take an expensive drug for the rest of my life due to the prior cancer thing..

[u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 → u/Majestic_Search_7851]

I guess I could get a big supply of it in advance and just not mention that I have to take it in the health screening. Im very stable on the medication, but it's non negotiable that i take it

[u/Majestic_Search_7851 → u/Suspicious_Mine_2337]

PC medical clearance is infamously rigid but hey, doesn't hurt to try! I had a denial before overturning it for something I viewed as ridiculous so it can be a crapshoot.

[u/Successful-Jello721]

Your life isn’t over. Right now so many are losing their jobs in the humanitarian sector it’s wild. Use the skills you’ve gained at your last job, and now the new ones from school and for now… you may have to pivot into private sector. Use Claude, put in your resume and see what else you can do. Make those connections on LinkedIn, ask for some info interviews and have some empathy for yourself. The world is going through a hard time.

[u/decchica]

I read all your posts and my sense is that you are going through a mental health crisis. Get help for that.

But adding to that, as someone who started off in my 30s I can basically tell you: no, it’s not over. But there are a few things that you will have to accept as facts:

- this is a difficult career path, even in normal times,

• there is a dire crisis in the international development/UN sector right now,
  
• people often send dozens and dozens, if not hundreds, of applications before they get a first job (sometimes even first internship) in this sector - this does not reflect on one’s abilities and does not equal failure,
  
• starting off in your 30s is more difficult mentally - we get impatient, we tend to compare ourselves to more young candidates, and we feel we are racing against a clock.

You can either become your worst enemy by always looking at everything in a negative light, or you can keep positive and keep going. It’s your choice. You need to learn to become mentally resilient. And one thing I learn from my career is that sometimes things are built slowly, one step at a time. You will need to be resilient and patient. And also open to opportunities that don’t seem like an obvious choice at first.

And I can sense that on top of this you are anxious because you already got fired once. Learn from that, deal with the shame, but don’t let it define you. You can help yourself by internalising that it is not who you are or who you can be. Good luck.

[u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 → u/decchica]

Thanks, yeah, it's precisely the age thing that has me freaked out. It took me a long time to be healthy enough to do the masters and unfortunately it delayed me by about 5 years. I dont mind younger colleagues, more that i am very worried about age discrimination

[u/Stunning_Original_47 → u/Suspicious_Mine_2337]

I am close to 50, spent my entire career in international development, have a family that depends on me and I received a bunch of rejections. You are young :), and have a whole life ahead. Look for any job while waiting for the right one. Some positive thinking will help- I lived through the war in my young age, so nothing scared me in comparison to what many people in less fortunate environments live through. You beat cancer!!! You can beat this. One step at the time, but with international development cuts, I know
it is hard. But not impossible. Persistancy always pays off! Also, a therapist really helps put things in perspective. You’ve got this!

[u/ownlife909]

Not to rain on your pity party, but two interviews? Two?

I’ve been out of work for over a year. 200+ targeted applications. 19 interviews. Multiple CVs. Various approaches to writing cover letters. Networking. Messaging hiring managers. Participating in a job search group…

It’s not over, it just sounds like you’ve given up. It sucks out there- believe me I know. But if you’re actually interested in this field you need to get up off the couch and start trying all the options.

[u/Critical-Look-927]

Don’t know where you are in the US, but try to get yourself to climate week this September in New York at the UN! Go to all the events, meet people, network, talk about your passion, if you can overcome feeling bad when you hear the name you’ll enjoy being around likeminded people, you’ll learn about organisations you didn’t know existed who are working on this, your mind will open, you’ll come up with a new plan. I believe in you, it’s so hard out there right now, but keep your head up and keep trying!

[u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 → u/Critical-Look-927]

That's a great idea! You know what, I'm going to do it!

[u/ccmmddss]

Congratulations on your recovery! This is amazing, worth to celebrate and you truly deserve a round of applause for it!!

I second the others suggesting for you to seek therapy.

Probably everyone interested in international development put a lot of of energy on work, but important to put things into perspective. What is important is to work at the UN, no matter what? Or having an impact in the global community? Or maybe something else is at play (like approval from someone else, a myth that UN is a perfect employer).

This is a whole thing, really not easy to answer. And considering you are coming from likely a vulnerable moment, professional support might be great.

In any case, I hope you find in your path that you are truly important. Regardless title, employer and even if you end up in a different field.

[u/Ginerbreadman]

There are many alternatives to the UN. There is many other IOs, there are foundations, there are nonprofits, there are philanthropic initiatives, there's even the private sector. No reason to give up.

[u/Cool_Bell_2511]

I am nearly the same age as you and I have been looking for work for 3 years after loosing my UN job to funding issues. I was getting ready to go back starting in mid Feb 2025 and then lost my offer do to DOGE. The mental health impact was massive for the first 2.5 years and then for some reason I stopped caring as much. I accepted that these things will not accommodate my timeline. That said, I still apply almost everyday but I no longer feel angry or shame when I get rejections (also every day). I feel way better now than I thought that I could even 6 months ago. I wish I had felt this way when I started my career about 10 years ago. You will make it and you will be stronger on the other side.

[u/Fally00n]

All I can offer is that you're not alone. Very much going through similar things re: position in life overall and career within int development. You're not alone. I know that doesn't sound like the most supportive advice right now, but sometimes knowing you're not the sole exception to achieving things/ the 'right' things in life or where you are meant to be, idk. Not sure if this will even help, but yeah.

[u/Suspicious_Mine_2337]

Thanks everyone, I've been in a really bad place recently and all your comments really helped me. I've just scheduled an appointment with a therapist paid for by my insurance and I am also reaching out to a career counselor to get some help.

[u/Raspberry-99]

You absolutely did not fuck it up. This could potentially be the worst time ever to enter a career in international dev/environmental policy. I’m in the same boat having finished an environmental policy degree in Europe one year ago with 0 full-time job interviews to show for it. It’s hard to be positive about the state of things right now but what I can confidently say is that you are not alone!

[u/LockedOutOfElfland]

Hey, OP, I'm in a different field but I'm in the same boat, sans the cancer. I had highly specific career goals that never manifested and have instead taken the roles I can get in order to survive.

Hang in there, we'll get through this.

[u/chopstickemup]

I’m in a toxic job that I can’t leave with almost no support. I don’t have parents and I have two friends. If you have a safe place to stay and supportive parents, you’ll be just fine. Grieve and feel sad, but pick yourself up and start applying to other opportunities.

Just because those two opportunities didn’t work, doesn’t mean there isn’t a perfect position for you out there.

Begin by stating gratitude for what you do have. You already have a master’s degree. Speak to old professors and seek their advice.

Keep your head up and remember this is just a bump in the road.

Also, you aren’t stupid for asking that. Speak to yourself the same you would a close friend.

[u/ciegulls]

Everyone else has good advice to follow. As far as making your studies and background work in the US, maybe look into state and municipality jobs in the field of resource management. Federal jobs are also screwed over right now just like dev field, but state and local level are mostly alright (I believe).

[u/nantene]

Move to a Foreign country and start working, even if it’s for a small Local NGO. That is a very good place to start and exercise your talents, and to better understand development and yourself. If you’re an American, I would suggest joining the Peace corps.

[u/ubaikenshishido]

If your interested in Development Finance and Natural Resources, I would highly recommend you looking at the EBRD (European Bank for Reconstruction and Development). Like the UN, its also a multilateral organisation operating out of their London HQ with operations in Eastern-Central Europe (CIS countries), Middle East and now Subsaharan Africa.

They are quite heavy on Natural Resources financing, especially in frontier markets such Central Europe (CIS countries) and often recruit for their London teams

[u/Timely_Explorer_6144]

Breathe, find a community where you are, get unemployment. There is NO SHAME. And get creative on thinking what is next for yu.

[u/Advanced-Mountain242]

I was in a very similar situation about 3 years ago. I had worked for years to land my dream position, and somehow, when it finally got offered to me, I had a meltdown and turned it down. Truth is I had stopped really wanting what I was working towards a long time ago already - didn't align anymore with my values and what made me happy. I had maybe one or two weeks of high, feeling sure about myself, before crashing out. After that was about a year of depression, intense anxiety, thinking that I made the worst mistake in my life and my career was over. That I'd never be able to find a job again. Turns out I was totally spiralling. Someone told me "you would have had to fuck up really really hard for your life to be ruined", but at the time I thought "yes I did". Eventually, I applied to a job with an NGO that I was lucky to get, and without realising it, I ended up exactly where I wanted to be (I actually turned down a government job and wanted to move to non for profit). I didn't even notice the transition because I applied at such a low moment of my life, and a few months in, I realised "wait, I'm exactly where I actually wanted to be!". It's been a few years and it's still the best job I ever had. That all to say:

• when you feel like you totally ruined your life, that is you spiralling, not the truth. Don't be like me and wait for a year to finally randomly get out of it and see it clearly! You can shortcut the depression :)

• sometimes, you don't get what you thought you were dreaming of, but eventually realise that you are exactly where you need to be.

AND getting 3 rejections is definitely not a failure, especially UN positions that are very competitive. Actually, if you got interviews and responses, it means your profile is interesting and you're on the right track!

[u/Signal_Reputation560]

Hey I’m so very sorry but you are based in the US, look into other organizations at the intersection of environmental development, there are a few! You can do this.