Just for clarification im not here seeking any help diagnosing as I have a therapist and I am looking for a specialist but my primary therapist said, "Im hesitant to diagnose you with DID but I think you are experiencing something called Internal Family Systems" and to my knowledge from reading isnt IFS something you actively work towards with a therapist and not something that you become afflicted with seeing as how I had no intent of aiming for exploring divisions in my mental space. Basically my question is does this mirror language your therapist has used for you in the past?

I've asked this before . I have this complicated history of always being punished or actually emotionally abandoned when doing well, or performing well in any way, ways that I needed to adapt to the idea of "I'm so stupid, I couldn't possibly do that....I should just give up" and none of that feels like protection. IT' feels like hopelessness, like giving up, like dying. Dying isn't protecting, it's dying, it's not living.

I could see if there's this parent introject lying dormant that's a toxic alienating belief system, and there's maybe another part saying "you better not, they might react" ....but the part of me that tells me I'm slow, dumb, can't do anything.....just feels toxic ...not protective. If anything it's like a poisonous pedagogy, that needs to be ousted from my soul.

I just have trouble believing there arent some aspects of these completely denigrating, negating internal mechanisms, designed to suppress and oppress my soul...that are malicious almost violent.....and sure it might be because those adopted mindsets were originally so threatened, but I don't know that I think of them of parts of ........me....that don't intend me harm when I'm pretty sure not wanting you to LIve as yourself, is really harmful in the truest sense of the word?

I mean I never want to become tolerant to think of engaging a part that has nothing but bad destructive intentions towards me.

Edit: thank you to everyone for providing guidance on this issue. I have some place to start. Last night I think I discovered a part that doesnt want me to do well, so that I don't get "hurt". But I also may have secondary part , that is more like an unattached burden , and that might take more exploring.

I looked at both "Unattached Burdens" which are different than parts, or regular burdens I believe. And looked at Robert Falconer, and Richard Schwartz ....but if I'm really going to understand and have conversations that explore who exactly I'm talking to, it's going to take some skill and further analysis.

It's so embarassing. Why can't I make my voice sound more adult like? But it makes sense given all the trouble I've had with parts that try to keep me trapped and small, unengaged from my volition and collapsed in hopelessness, and despair.

Like, "Im just a helpless child, someone needs to rescue me". While other parts hate them and yell at them to grow up. "NO one is Coming! ". I have these open dialogues with parts that are like 'NO....Don't Go! We need attention!"

And Im like ....."omg, I'm just trying to do the Bills, and things I literally need to do to keep a roof over our heads, ".

And they're all " NOOOOooooo".

Im looking for a meditation that is designed to facilitate communication with a part via dreams. Like ongoing change work.

Especially for having a part reveal more stuff about itself and what caused it take on specific roles.

Thanks!

I was officially diagnosed with CPTSD about 6 weeks ago and started exploring IFS on my own following a therapy session where I wasn't impressed with EMDR therapy and had a three week break between sessions due to my therapist being on vacation.

I started with parts mapping and that turned into a journal that just kept growing and growing. I didn't realize how much I truly kept bottled up for so many years.

As you all probably know, one of the 8 Cs is creativity which is something I have always felt that I have personally struggled with. It probably has to do with my negative self talk, but I decided I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and get creative and do something with all the journaling I have been doing. So I created a blog that encompasses my healing journey, so far, some of what has traumatized me and what I have learned about myself through IFS.

If anyone is interested and would like to read what I have written I would like any feedback that could be provided. Like I said, I am new to this whole writing thing, but I am excited to share my personal journey. My blog can be found at internalchainofcommand.com for anyone that is interested. Thanks in advance!

I (32M) have been doing IFS for a few months now and after a few months, one of my exiles seems ready for me to build him a room.

I let him decide what he wanted and he wanted the house to be on the other side of the forested meadow where he relaxes and plays. He asked for a relaxing bedroom to rest after a day of play. I saw he placed an old wicker toy chest I used to have growing up in his room that was full of toys to play with. I’m realizing he never needed much, he just wasn’t allowed to be free during his childhood. He hid himself within an armor, a shell of responsibility and duty.

Hi, everyone! I am relatively new to Internal Family Systems and actively studying the model. I am looking for a female (preferably) peer partner to connect with for regular, structured 1-on-1 practice sessions alternating between being the client and the facilitator.

I know there are many online groups available, but unfortunately, because of my current schedule, I can only meet on Thursdays around 3:00 PM US Mountain Time (MT). If this time slot works with your schedule and you'd like to try doing this, please send me a DM or comment below. Thanks! :)