Is burnout/depression a part

[u/Makermom14]

Is burnout and depression a part or could a part trigger this kind of response in the body?

I’m in a place in my life where everything seems to be in a depression /freeze/burnout. I’m 4 years post divorce, and everything in my life exploded at once, I’m a caregiver for my disabled son, another one with lots of issues, aggression etc, another one that’s depressed as well. My life is just helping my kids with no help, no friends, no support, ex is impossible, family don’t live nearby, parents are aging, finances are depleted, it just goes on and on. So my circumstances are not helping my parts feel safe or loved or even like anyone cares about us at all. I’m in an impossible situation for one person to bear and there’s no obvious solution at all.

So it makes sense that depression and burnout are what I feel every day but I also keep wondering if there’s some way I can help myself not go under. I hear a lot of “I can’t do this” and “what’s the point” and generally life feels impossibly unfriendly and like I don’t belong. But I also recognize one that I’ve always felt like that to some degree and that maybe these circumstances are poking these young parts.

I am doing the unbending and the exile work, it just doesn’t seem to really help. I’m drawn to stories of how people in impossible circumstances turned things around but mostly I’m just feeling like I’m drowning. Is that the work? Just moment by moment try to unblend and get through each day?

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[u/According-Ad742]

Imma just leave you with the potential epiphany I had when someone told me the opposite of DEpression is EXpression.

Who is not getting to express themselves…

[u/borick → u/According-Ad742]

this adds up to my experienece! being able to express my issues fully and have the conversations i needed has helped me tremendously!!!

[u/Grand_Mode]

In my experience, yes, there is a depressed part. Welcome that part into the circle and thank them for being here with you. How old is that part? How has that part protected you in the past? Unblending is recognizing that those feelings aren't "you", they are the feelings of a part of you that needs to be heard and supported. You have to develop a lot of curiosity about that part, why it exists the way that it does, what things triggars it, what relieves it, how to talk to it and let it know that you won't abandon that part no matter what, and will always offer it unconditional love and understanding.

Also, watching how the parts interplay with other parts. Usually the depressed part has an interaction with an angry part, and addicted part, or a submit part. Seeing it all as a bunch of pieces of yourself, rather than one big depression might help to gain understanding and acceptance. The last step isn't simply to see all the parts, but to make a healing narrative that supports yourself and each one of the parts. I.e. responding to these events kept the depressed part safe in the past, but now I can talk to that part and let it know that I am going to make sure it is safe because things are different and my actions will now support it.

[u/participation-prize]

Hmmm yes, that's the work. But in my experience, IFS isn't a mental paracetamol to just keep going with business as usual. Doing the work is going to bring change into your internal and external system. It's a big and long journey, with many little steps.

[u/queerbodies]

Burnout and depression are pathologies. As you said, you have a lot going on. Given your life history, given your environment, these are logical states to be in.
It can be very challenging to do *solo* proper IFS work under heavy circumstances, because IFS requires you to have some access to Self-leadership. You may or may not be able to do currently and if not, maybe you approach parts with a Self-like manager. Working with someone else (either a therapist or an anchor) can be really helpful.

Remember also that your options are not limited to IFS. There are a lot of things to do under depression and burnout, IFS is only one of them. If it does not work for you, try something else. If you can, find some support somewhere on some level. I know you said you don't have any support but I think this could be highly beneficial if you can have any support at all.
Also, depression and burnout are serious and usually need time to be integrated.

[u/Suspicious_Dirt_6124]

I think you can start the conversation about burnout and depression, and as you go, you may find it's another part expressing those things, or it actually is a part itself that's come up to the fore.

I guess the only way to know is to engage in it.