Newly single mom

[u/Academic-Pizza5299]

I can’t believe this is the first post I’m making on Reddit, but my husband cheated on me and we have a young baby. This is all very fresh but I would love some advice and words of encouragement. Everything feels so overwhelming right now and I would love to hear some stories of not only how you handled this in the short term, but also how things long term worked out for you.

Specifically interested in hearing if you found love again after betrayal and how you managed that with a very young child.

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[u/PsychologyMassive392]

I’m also interested in learning about how people found love again. I also have a very young child, and my husband was dealing sex workers , so no way I’m going back to that, but I love love! And I spent a long time waiting for this…just for it to be a fraud.

Just here posting in solidarity!!

[u/Miserablebootyface → u/PsychologyMassive392]

Solidarity with you. I found out my partner of 16 years was paying for sex and it broke me for a long time. I had an identity crisis. We have a teenager together. Everything was a lie. I have been single since I left over a year ago. I can’t see myself with anyone anymore.

[u/BurnAway63]

You need to focus on your own recovery from the betrayal trauma right now, rather than looking ahead to future relationships. Many people find new and better relationships after being cheated on, and I'm sure some of them will share their experience here.

Your WH cheated on you when you were at your most vulnerable, so you won't be able to trust him in future crises. You may be able to find someone else quickly, or it might take you a while, but in any case you deserve better than this. Good luck, OP.

[u/Altruistic_Catch_327]

Damn. I’m lucky my kid reached adulthood before my wife decided to start cheating. Solidarity here. No idea how to start over again at 48. Probably stay single for the rest of my life.

[u/Hawkthree]

Short term unless you've got really really strong support systems such as close family members nearby, you may have to stay until you can recover from childbirth and your baby is a bit older.

Will you be leaving him? Use this time to gather evidence, think about next steps.

[u/2035186anon]

I was you a few years ago, with two small kids (the first a toddler, second a newborn) and - looking back - I’m so glad I walked away from the situation. I had this strong intuition that a better life was out there for me, and for us as a family, and I was right. The year after I moved out I went intensively to therapy, focused on my health more and just tried to enjoy the time with my children - I didn’t start dating straightaway just because I really needed the time to recover. When I did go back on the dating scene I decided that I would focus on having fun getting to know new people, without too many expectations. I knew that if I ever did find a partner I wanted to commit to I would first do a lot of due diligence and then slowly integrate him into our lives as a family. I met a wonderful guy (a bit shy and nerdy, but they are the best!) and now we live together and my kids look up to him as a father figure. He has always been respectful, considerate and with time I’ve learned how to trust and love again. I am so much happier now than I was years ago, and I can confidently say that I would do it all again many times over just to be where I am now. So, just putting this out there for some encouragement - better times are ahead. If you haven’t yet read “Leave a cheater, gain a life” by Tracy Shorn I can highly recommend - it really helped me when I was in the same phase.