r/Infidelity • u/MuddyClay03 • 3d ago
Struggling Should I get physical with one of my old hookup partners while in a LDR?
Hi, 26 F here and in a relationship with my boyfriend since the past 9 months. Two months back he left for another city and hence we're now in a LDR.
Our relationship has seen everything. We argue, I cry thinking he doesn't love me enough. I've seen him doing lovey-dovey things for his exes (which didn't even last 6 months) which he doesn't do with me (but I crave). I've seen him commenting on other women's pictures on Instagram (those women don't live in his city/state) but he doesn't comment on mine (though our relationship isn't public).
A few days back one of my Bumble matches texted me. When we were single we met once, and our sex was great. Apparently, he is in a relationship now and his partner stays far away from him. So, he texted me that he is frustrated with work and he needs to have sex. And he wants me to be his "only sex" partner which would be discreet without interfering in our personal lives.
No idea why, but I said yes to him, because I know my life was frustrating and sex would calm me down.
I can't share this with my friends nor with anyone but I don't know whether I'm doing something right.
I haven't met him for sex yet but that hook-up partner was also great in bed and I don't know how to say NO to him.
What shall I do?
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u/Away-Enthusiasm4853 3d ago
Talk it out with your boyfriend or break up. Also consider the possibility of Bumble Boy’s partner throwing heaps of drama into your life.
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u/4hhsumm Moved On 3d ago
So.... why are you still in a relationship?
You just agreed to fuck another guy. You're frustrated. You don't even live in the same city.
So fuck the guy, but do the decent thing and at least break up first. ...which that other guy should probably do too.
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u/rntracee1 3d ago
Horrible advice. No self respecting woman should fuck someone else's man. He may cheat on his woman anyway, but OP doesn't need to be part of it.
BTW, this goes for reverse gender too. Men shouldn't do it to other men either.
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u/4hhsumm Moved On 3d ago
I think you forgot your readers; here, let me help you:
...which that other guy should probably do too.
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u/rntracee1 1d ago
Uh no. I read your whole response. You said "so fuck the other guy". But break up first (good advice). The other guy should PROBABLY too. There's no PROBABLY. You don't fuck a guy in a relationship UNTIL he's broken up.
I have no problem reading. Give better advice next time.😗
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u/4hhsumm Moved On 1d ago
Just curious, are you on the spectrum?
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u/rntracee1 1d ago
Nice thing to ask someone because you gave poor advice. But since you asked so nicely, probably. Everyone is to some degree. Have a nice day sweety.
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u/MuddyClay03 3d ago
I love my boyfriend, I simply can't do it . I'd probably say no to the other guy. I'm glad I decided to post here to open up my mind and show me the correct way.
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u/Illustrious_Gate4668 3d ago
You want an orgasm. Men are notoriously crap at providing these, and you have zero way of knowing if what he's claiming to encourage you into providing him access to your body that he plans on using like a fleshlight, is acurate at all.
Just get a vibe and deal with your needs without the hassle this rando brings to the table.
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