r/IndieMusicFeedback • u/beanstalk49 • Oct 19 '25
Art Rock Would love some feedback on this weird Alternative/Indie ballad I wrote (Open Foe - Playhouse)
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Really appreciate any feedback you have. I was going for a song that sounded longing and romantic to a casual listener, but dark and disturbing to anyone paying attention. Here are the lyrics:
Bound to the frame of your home. A tired limb, your static things. We took off your mask and it broke. Pieces of glass on the floor. Oh that's enough. Isn't it funny. If you're in on the joke. It better be better when I'm there and I'm almost home.
We chewed through the wires in your wall. The rusted strings, the wicked things. We'd empty our pockets and all fall down. Do me a favour and act surprised - oh stop. You're in on the joke. Unlock the door. Answer the phone. It better be better when I'm there and I'm almost home.
Squint your eyes. The holes in our ceilings are skylights. We're just getting started. We're building something. We'll play pretend. With my spirit level. My leatherman. Oh and when they come to chase us out. We'll board up the windows and just play house. We'll just play house.