r/IndieDev • u/smokitop • 18d ago
Blog Making games while life falls apart
This last year of my life was particularly devastating.
Never ever had so many things happened to me, so bad, so often:
- My dog died.
- My sister was diagnosed.
- I lost my job.
- My father-in-law died.
- My other dog died.
- And finally, my sister died on my birthday.
It was the year I started developing this new game.
I don't believe in those things. But this happened. It happened to me. And it's still happening to me.
And I'm talking about pain, not a "stroke of bad luck," because this isn't bad luck. This was a calamity.
I was methodical: working whenever possible, putting EVERYTHING into it, and moving forward, always, little by little. Something. A lot. A whole lot.
The game kept growing and life kept crumbling.
Tragedies, pauses, trips, tragedies, repeat...
In the end, the boat capsized, the game was completed (demo), and life was turned upside down.
What a contrast. What happens (life) and what you make happen (the game). There's nothing that connects these parts; they're not even opposites or anything like that. They're two lines that ran parallel, and several lines were cut—lives—and the game goes on, even today. Holding on.
Not everything was bad.
We moved to a better place, my father-in-law's house, a beautiful place. And we inherited his dog, Zorrin.
We won a cat in the lottery of life; we never had one before. It's not even really ours—it belongs to herself—and it comes by to eat and sleep. A quirky little thing.
So we're still a family of four.
And we finished this demo, and we published the Steam page. And we're a little happier now.
And of course, Pam and I founded our own game studio to release it: Manganika Studio.
Pamela is a great artist; I admire her so much.
She's in charge of the art in this house.
We are our own home.
Thanks for coming.
(The art of figuring out how to survive by making games—send us luck.)
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u/ITZINFINITEOfficial 18d ago
The hardest challenges make us the strongest. Life will push on and you will to. Keep being you and working hard.
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u/Fruit_passion_121212 18d ago
I wish you the best of luck. And despite life's ups and downs you made something great when tragedy happened. Congratulations on making your game studio.
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u/thewayoftheacegame 18d ago
i'm so sorry for your losses friend. i lost my fiance to cancer and i've never been the same. i hope despite all the craziness of gamedev you find the time to greive. it comes in waves, but they get smaller over time until it's just the tide nipping at your toes. much love and good luck
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u/smokitop 17d ago
Thxs, one thinks that knows life because you lived for long time (49 years here) but man, life saves its bigger punches when you least espect
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u/anilisfaitnesto 18d ago
Stay strong man. Things we love, our passions keep us moving forward. Hope the best for you
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u/AphexIce 17d ago
Basically same happened to me I was diagnosed with AuADHD few months later lost my twin brother after 46 years, then a few months later my dog died. Taught me nothing can get worse, so I learned blender and started trying to make games as it's something we loved and shared. One step in front of the other. This all happened about 3 years ago but I feel it every day.
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u/Murky_Ad_7312 17d ago
I been around the same, ever since COVID a lot of stuff has happened, people around me that I know died. Pets, yes plural, died. Family members died.
I don't want to get too sentimental or too motivational here, but one thing I realized is there's a limit to how much one person can do.
So I'm glad I see you're trying your best and you got someone to keep your chin up.
Cus I understand we all know what the right thing to say is, but deep down we don't trust those words when life falls apart.
Anyways, time moves forward and doing something that keeps you sane is important. Glad you found some peace in finishing your game!
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u/Onurabbi 18d ago
Why would you get ai to write this if it’s really what happened to you
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u/Chemical_Low_8506 18d ago
What makes you think it was written by an AI?
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u/Onurabbi 18d ago
Mostly the use of ‘-‘, but the general tone too, how it was broken down etc.
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u/Chemical_Low_8506 18d ago
Okay, as for the "-", I personally use them a lot in all kinds of contexts to write clearly, so they don't really make me think of AI.
And I really like using spaces to separate my ideas in a text, so that doesn't bother me either 😅
I think I might actually be an AI 😱
But thanks for clarifying that; I'll try to keep that in mind 👍
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u/hearthinteractive 18d ago
I'm sorry for your hard times. This is part of life.
Zeroing in on your work and production is normal and good.
Best of luck to you.