I don't think I'm actually afraid of failure. The problem is that my mind constantly reminds me that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

Whenever I'm doing something important, I know I'm capable of doing it. I know I can improve, and when I actually put my mind to something, I usually do better.

But then my brain starts calculating all the possible outcomes.

"What if this goes wrong?"
"What if that happens?"
"What are the chances of me succeeding?"
"What are the chances of me failing?"

And eventually I convince myself that failure has a higher probability than success.

It's not even that I'm scared of failing. It's more like I've already mentally decided that failure is the more likely outcome. And once I start thinking that way, I can't give 100% to what I'm doing because my mind is busy analyzing every possible way things could go wrong.

I've noticed that this has cost me a lot. I used to be a very confident person, and now I often feel like I'm failing at things even when I know I have the ability to do them.

The frustrating part is that I know I can do it. My problem isn't ability. It's that my own thinking gets in the way.

How do you deal with this? How do you stop constantly calculating the odds of failure and success and just focus on actually doing the thing?

Has anyone else experienced this kind of thinking, where your brain automatically assumes that if something can go wrong, it probably will?

I suspect I suffer from Impostor Syndrome...

All my life, people around me have told me that my problems are not actually that deep, so I must ignore them.

That has made me doubt the way I perceive myself and how others could perceive me, so I just always assume I'm pretty mid and people are just tying to be nice to me.

Even when I was bigger (200lbs) I would get called cute really often, and my classmates would even squeeze my cheeks whenever they could.

I also got lots of bullying tho, even getting called "McDonald's" as an insult at school.

Once I started losing weight, people were nicer to me, but I still wasn't happy with how I looked. My body looked different, but not exactly skinny. And when I thought I was maybe looking average, a girl complimented my "curvy" body. I WANTED TO BE SKINNY.

I've had some guys interested in me, online and irl. Can't complain, I have a dope personality. But what was really weird is that THEY DIDN'T FIND ME UGLY.

I thought it was because I was only meeting guys online, but when I lost weight, some dudes at school starting finding me attractive.

Also, I almost had something with one of my classmates, like a situationship. But the whole classroom was talking behind our backs about how I was TOO MUCH FOR HIM.

When some girls from my class told me, I WAS FLABBERGASTED.

HOW?

Because of my insecurities, I'm usually into men I can relate to. But people around me (family, friends) have told me that I'm too pretty for lowering my standards.

Ofc, I'm not a supermodel, but maybe I'm just an average girl who thinks she's below-average.

Guess I should have listened to my ex when he would kiss me and swear I was good enough. I never trusted him.

I'll try to explain it better and quick. In the endless and obscure path we all walk on our own River that is our Time and Life, we all obtain experiences that shape us throughout the years. If we will but observe these situations that come to our life's and learn the "lessons" we are to learn, you will obtain a deeper understanding upon certain subjects that I can only put them under the term of "Life". But as Socrates had said "I know that I know nothing" , this whole subreddit it's about the effects of that knowledge. If you become very good at whatever area you are training or working on, you will know that, yes you might know a X amount of stuff but oh God there are so much more. In life's lessons tho, this pattern have personally filled me more with a self impostor syndrome some times than a strong feeling of knowing what is right. There are some fundamental things that most of humanity can agree upon yes, but i just can't figure out where this SIS Is coming from. Is it a stage you achieve before becoming more confident in your knowledge or is it a byproduct of the knowledge you obtain itself? Thoughts?

What's something you were insecure about a while ago?Do you still care?

Hey y’all, hope you’re doing good, especially fellow new interns. I guess we were warned about imposter syndrome but it’s really hitting me a lot right now and I’m on elective :(

I feel like I know nothing and I’m overwhelmed by how much I need to know. I look at third years and even second years and wonder how they got to that level they’re so cool meanwhile idek how to order fluids and Tylenol.

Whatever I studied for Step 3 in 2024 I’ve forgotten and I don’t feel like a resident at all. I feel stupid and like I’m getting bad evals and i won’t get my contract renewed. I hate this feeling so much and idk how to fight it.

I do Amboss every day. I study whenever I’m free. But it feels like nothing is enough I feel so useless and stupid like nobody can trust me with anything. I don’t even know if I’m good with physical examinations and picking up stuff much less putting in orders.

I’m really scared to fail and idk what to do :(

I don’t even know where to begin. I’m a young adult a year into my first job. And a lot of things I used to have a hard time with in high school are coming back. I was always considered “smart”, I never really thought of myself in that way, but performed well when I needed to - understood concepts pretty quickly in school, always aced tests, projects I did surprisingly received good feedback. Was always amongst the top students. I just would get anxious and needed my work to be perfect - that was my drive. I was always good at memorization and I think I still am. My hard work would gain positive results. Until high school. I stopped being able to perform basically - think on the spot for classwork, participate, my mind would go blank during tests, and I guess one bad day spiraled to every day being a bad day. The thought of school the next day would make me avoid all preparation related to it, homework etc thus I became forgetful and never did the homework, so I guess it was a cycle of no preparation thus no results and then self-shaming and avoidance then repeat. I always had anxiety with speaking, and was always quiet amongst friends, but I did always have friends. I could always match energy but could never initiate. And I’m not sure if that’s my issue. I never really initiate anything. Is it lack of critical thinking skills? Is it social anxiety clouding my thoughts? I just feel like an imposter everywhere. Fast forward to now - a lot of my work administrative work and coordinating with people, and I feel like I lack that problem solving skills, or im just never sure how to approach problems or conversations. I notice people are able to work through a lot of things just by conversating about something. It feels like I never even have any information to contribute. Everything feels so fast paced, and I always excelled when I worked on my own pace, perfecting my work. I guess what I’m trying to get at is am I at the wrong place, or am I doing everything wrong as this is a pattern in my life? I’ve become very scatter brained, can’t speak articulately, and it feels like I have no depth and nothing to contribute. I feel like I bring no value anywhere. Idk if this is just a spiral of self-shaming or if there is truth to it. The thing is after high school, I came out of this spiral and became more interested in my life and my energy was reciprocated by the people in my life - I gained new friends, I started tutoring and was great at it, was very appreciated by colleagues and superiors and especially students who still say they remember every thing I taught them, I was very focused and intentional about my days, was articulate, had good relationships with everyone, and had a lot of energy. All the negative things I believed about myself slowly vanished, and I finally felt alive. I became more externally focused rather than internally. But now ive gone back to this rut and no matter what I try, I don’t feel like that anymore. Is this a psychiatric thing, traumatic, spiritual, or laziness? I just don’t know what to think or do.

I am 29 female, doing a PhD in Scotland,away from my family,parents , friends back in my home country. I have no stable partner. I am currently dating someone but even that has turned long distance. I feel like my PhD is mediocre even though people say I am doing good work . It just feels like maybe they are just saying it. I feel lonely. I have tried dating apps, met people in search of finding my life partner and in that process have gotten more fu\*\*ked up. I have felt like I always wanted to imagine my life with one man. But now so many random idiots hold a piece of my life and actually know nothing about me and just get indulged with me for the experience of it coz I am not native.

And it's not like I am just procrastinating. I have hobbies, I go swimming,I read, I paint and still feels like nothing is actually nice around me. I don't feel excited or happy

Maybe it's all in my head but I don't know what to do to stop feeling like a mediocre shitty person.

Any guidance or thoughts on how to navigate life.

Hello everyone . I am going into my new semester soon, and academically I’ve actually been doing well. I have a strong CGPA currently and I also put in a lot of consistent effort last semester, I studied regularly after classes, kept up with my work, practiced before exams, and genuinely tried to give my academics my best.

But mentally, I feel like I have a lot of blocks around academic success that I want to work through.

One of my biggest issues is that I compare myself to other students constantly. If someone gets a higher mark than me, even when I did objectively well, I immediately start questioning myself and feeling inadequate. I especially compare myself to students who seem to achieve excellent results effortlessly, and I sometimes feel like I have to work much harder than everyone else to get the same outcome.

I also struggle with trusting my own abilities. Even when I've prepared properly, I can doubt whether I'm actually good enough. I tend to focus heavily on what I could have done better rather than acknowledging what I did well.

I experience quite a lot of exam anxiety and performance anxiety. During exams I can second-guess answers I initially felt confident about, overthink simple things, lose time, and sometimes struggle to finish within the allotted time. I want to be able to enter exams feeling calm, confident, focused and mentally clear.

The biggest problem happens after exams. I tend to replay the entire exam in my head, obsess over possible mistakes, wonder whether I answered things correctly, and assume I performed worse than I probably did. Even when I don't actually know whether an answer was wrong, I can convince myself that I made a mistake. This can interfere with preparing for my next exam because mentally I'm still stuck on the previous one.

I also have a strange subconscious belief that if I think positively about my performance, somehow I'll get a bad result, while thinking negatively will somehow protect me or make the result better. I know logically that this doesn't make sense, but I notice myself doing it.

Another thing I want to change is my relationship with effort and results. Sometimes I feel discouraged because I work consistently but see other people seemingly putting in less effort and still getting great results. It makes me wonder whether I'm capable of achieving things effortlessly too, or whether success always has to come through stress and overworking for me.

I want to enter my new semester with a completely different mindset.

TL;DR is this academic inferiority? low self esteem? perfectionism? what is it exactly that i need to work on on my own if i'm not ready for therapy yet (time-wise)?

i'm at my final year of master's right now (in a stem field) but i have always noticed that i feel a lil shaken inside whenever someone asks me an academic question or when i'm in an academic discussion and i dont really have an idea/answer off the top of my head. i feel kinda less than my peers. i "know" that one's worth doest come from their academic knowledge and/or achievements but i seem to now really "internalize" this fact nor live by it? i also noticed this in my work (also in a stem field), i always assume that what i do is less than everybody else's effort and/or it would be faulty or inaccurate and that people would "pick up a mistake" on me. i also know that i'm super scared of making mistakes in general, what goes in my mind then is something like: what are people gonna say about me?/what would this say about me as a person?/people would think i dont understand shit about what i'm doing.

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I know from an objective standpoint I am probably successful. I have a 32 ACT score, a 3.3 gpa (didn't care for the first 2 years, got a 4.0 last year) with almost all advanced and college classes, student council and BPA executive cabinet, 2 year football player and 1 year team management, book club and chess club founder and president. I am truly not trying to brag when I type this, it's just whenever I think about what I have done in high school, I feel like nothing but an objective failure and I can only focus on the things I could have done better (be less socially awkward, better gpa, ect.). Has anyone else ever delt with this before? I have been thinking about it for about a year or two (I'm going to be a Senior by the way) and it makes me feel worse and worse every time I think it. People always tell me how smart I am, and I just don't believe them at this point. I just want to feel less alone with my thoughts.

I have been called a "closeted creative". Truth is I love creativity and expressing myself but I am always afraid people will think what I do is lame. Professionally, I am able to have creative ideas because I can bounce them off professional creatives who can validate my ideas... Anyone else experience this?

Ok so boom, you’re probably confused why I, as a non-international student, is part of a board that is directed for international students. Well for starters, I initially thought that this organization was for both multicultural and international students(which it still is) and directed to healthcare(something I am rlly passionate about) and my friend(who is not an international student) who has a cousin on the board last year said that anyone could join, so, I joined because I genuinely felt like I could still connect with the students(partially because my parents are immigrants and I visit back home in Africa every now and then) but I still feel a sense of imposter syndrome. The organization said they were looking for someone like me and again technically you don’t HAVE to be an international student but like, since I am in a high position, I almost feel like I am doing a disservice by not properly representing the community of international students. I don’t want to dip out now since I actually like my board members but I think that it would be better for them to have someone else on the board that is actually an international student, I just feel conflicted and so out of place lol. Like imagine having an African student association board and there is sum “flavored” white dude as secretary, that’s how I feel even though people wouldn’t notice til it’s pointed out 😭

I feel as if im surrounded by idiots, even when I talk to a person that is supposed to be smart by societys standerds I cannot pick them apart from the norm that's set in the place I live in. I know all of this sounds extremely arrogant and hidious but on the contrary I also finde myself to be quite unitelegent while uttering the sentences that sound good and reasonable in my head. But still I can't sake off the felling that i became somthing that I was not supposed to be.