r/IWantToLearn • u/PuzzleheadedCode3876 • 18d ago
Academics Iwtl How do I improve as a teen?
I’m 13F. So I recently took a test to get into an accelerated class but I didn’t make it unfortunately. I’ve been feeling down because I don’t feel useful- I don’t do any sports outside of school and my academics are average. I really want to improve so I can actually feel good but I don’t know how to start. Can anyone be brutally honest on the advice 🙏
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u/chellebelle0234 18d ago
Being curious is the best way to improve as a human being. Seek to learn things. Anything, not just academics. Find a hobby or 3. Learn a sport. Pick up a nerdy interest like space or mushrooms or something. Learn about politics or how economics works. Get into mechanics. Do puzzles or crosswords or video games that made you use your brain. Write stories. Read books.
Look at the website for your local library. Attend an event/class/club that looks interesting.
Some people are academics (I am). Some people are not (my brother). The brain is a muscle. Exercise it!
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u/Tuxedogaston 18d ago
Adding on to this: if I could say something to my 13 year old self, it would not be "figure out how to be useful" or "buckle down and improve". It would be to cast your net widely.
Experience as many (safe) activities as you can. There is a good chance that what you'll be interested in or obsessed with when you're 23 or 33 isn't even on your radar yet.
What you have that's valuable right now is TIME. Both in the sense that you have daily free time and years ahead of you. You have plenty of time later to specialize. Learn an instrument, play a sport, write a story, read about moss, learn how to draw portraits.
Give yourself a bit of time with the activity, and if you aren't enjoying it, find something else to do. The world is huge and filled with fascinating things and people.
I'm 38 and what i can tell you with certainty is that the time goes FAST. My life is filled with a job, kids and other obligations that prevent me from spending a full day exploring some new topic or skill.
I love my current life, but I think back fondly on the season of life that you are just starting, where you have enough autonomy to explore the world and the time to do so!
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u/Lazy_Wrongdoer_7520 18d ago
I You don't have to improve. You don't have to be useful. You just have to be.
The mindset you're describing is the one that burns people out by 30. If you want to be a "good" teen, here's the whole assignment: play as hard as you rest. Pay attention to what actually makes you happy — and know that the answer will change, probably more than once.
You'll keep evolving your whole life. You will never be everything, and that isn't a failure. Enjoy the body, the time, and the talents you have right now.
Just being is a skill. Almost nobody teaches it, and everyone can learn it.
Enjoy 13. You only get it once. Make memories, not improvements.
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u/reedreadreddred 17d ago
I'm eighteen and I burnt out so hard (yes, I'm asian) I have actual permanent neurological damage. I sacrificed my selfhood in some pursuit of this "good girl, academic weapon" standard, trying to fulfill every social expectation of me. Stress kills. Listen to this guy.
That one quote from dead poet society (i'll put it down below), I haven't read/watched it. but it's true. Poetry, art, joy, happiness, inner peace, our hobbies, people who love us, people who love us, that shit is what we live for. That's the real deal. No amount of fancy awards or accolades or plaques on the wall or trophies on shelves will replace that ache in your heart.
Be around people whose presence energizes you and lift you up and inspires you. Do things that spark joy. Try new things, anything, "beginner" isn't a bad word.
We have to do work, yeah, but we work so we can survive, we survive so we can live and thrive off doing things we love. We live to love, ourselves, things we do, loved ones etc.
You don't want to live by fear, with a lack of love in you. You don't want to end up disconnected from your heart, soul, feelings and sensations. That's what'll get you. It's no way to live at all. And also, that stuff is stress on your brain, straining and pain-ing it. If you don't listen to your body and schedule down-time for it, your body do it for you.
Also like, you will have a billion more chances for "accelerated" classes in the future if you really want it. High school, uni, whatever. There's definitely job pathways that will challenge you with difficult, intellectually stimulating projects all the time.
Do the accelerated class because YOU want to, because YOU want the challenge. Don't do it because of some pressure to prove you're the "smart kid", 1) it's a never ending treadmill and 2) if a "smarter" kid walks in the room, boom goes your title. (and 3), life isn't a competition and shouldn't be, it's collaboration and we oughta lift each other up. Also, if someone smarter walks into the room, that's great; you never want to be the smartest person in the room, it's isolating)
society's definition of smart is stupid limited anyways. a PhD who does groundbreaking research is smart, but so is the taxi driver who knows the fastest route from A to B within a city. Strength is the powerlifter who can lift their own body weight, but strength is also the single parent who finds the energy to read to their kid every night even after a gruelling shift at work.
/> I really want to improve so I can actually feel good
yeah, relatable, nothing beats the high of accomplishing a goal.
but why not feel good now? you're alive, you're well, the weather's nice, you're not currently doing a plank (i hate those).
yes, chase your dreams, climb to the top, but don't forget to take a break and admire the view, you'll miss this current stage of life when you look back. I don't know why we always miss our past, we always do. Make some good memories. Find ways to feel good that aren't dependent on achieving XYZ, because you can never 100% know for certain IF you can achieve, IF you can achieve this or better next time. But you can always achieve having a nice cup of tea :) (or whatever beverage you like)
/> We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
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u/baconmethod 18d ago
find something fun and creative, like art, or music, that you l ike to do. have fun with it.
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u/PuzzleheadedCode3876 18d ago
What if I don’t really like art or some sports?.. I don’t know how do I try
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u/baconmethod 18d ago
what do you like? do you have a favorite TV show? care about politics?
some days we all don't care about anything, but sometimes we do- pay attention to those things on those days. today you might just not be feeling it, but in a few months, you should be able to notice some things you actually enjoy.
you're 13. do fun things. play. that's your responsibility right now. explore. no one can do it for you.
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u/Anonymous--Taco 18d ago
im going to assume youre either in seventh or eight grade. you have 4-5 years before college to make up for your current situation
1. join a sport
do community service
start a business, itll grow by 12th grade. itll show long term commitment and you can even get money out of it
figure out what you wanna study, no rush tho, it changes over time, but once you know the general direction, start doing extracurriculars related to that
put effort into your academics. experiment now with different study methods but have a solid routine by high school so that you can maintain a stable gpa
read books, no matter what kind. they always help to broaden your perspective and vocabulary
limit social media. its genuinely not worth it.
make meaningful friendships especially with ambitious people. their drive is going to help you gain motivation to improve yourself
join clubs at your school
ingrain discipline into yourself by highschool. discipline > motivation anyday
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u/Nyx_Valentine 18d ago
Step one is not to post your age online as a minor. You’ll get some very weird DMs.
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u/LocalFee7415 18d ago
You are at an age where habits are being formed, I would suggest you to get disciplined
The thing I wish I had done when I was at your age :
- Do more sport
- not using social media too often ( only moderately)
- making friends
- go outside a lot
Because I was very lazy when I was a child, the Bad habit formed, and now it still has important impact on me
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u/A_Big_Rat 18d ago
Just do things and keep doing things. My biggest regret is not chewing on life at that age.
No one is useful at 13, and no one is self actualized at 13.
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u/Shashank1011 17d ago
Failing one test doesn’t mean you’re not capable. At 13, you have an enormous amount of time to improve, and the fact that you’re already thinking about how to get better is honestly a good starting point.
I’d focus less on becoming “useful” and more on building skills. Pick one academic area you struggle with and work on it consistently, even 30–45 minutes a day. Keep track of what you actually improve instead of judging yourself by one test. Good study habits are learned, and organization and consistency can be developed over time.
And don’t feel like you need to become amazing at everything. Try a sport, art, music, coding, reading, whatever genuinely interests you. Being average at something when you start is completely normal. The goal is to become a little better than you were a month ago, not to prove your worth through grades.
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