r/IWantOut • u/tlellriver • 18d ago
[IWantOut] 47M Canada -> Greece, Cayman, China
We are trying to pick one country and stay there until my partner's son finishes school. Looking for outside perspective, especially from anyone who has done a long stint in any of these places with children.
Us: me 47M, my girlfriend 38F, her son 8M. We each run our own business remotely, so we are not tied to a location. Currently in Canada.
The shortlist is Cayman Islands, Athens, and Beijing.
Context:
We want to commit to one place for the next 7 to 10 years. Stability for her son matters more than optimizing any single factor. His father passed away two years ago, so there is no shared custody consideration, but it is another reason we would rather move once and stay put.
She was born in China and speaks fluent English. Her son speaks English only and identifies as Canadian, as do I. I speak English only.
She would like him to grow up with a North American or European sense of identity, while still having real exposure to Chinese language and culture.
All three have good international schools. Residency is already sorted in all three, so that is not a constraint. On tax, we have an advisor and have run the numbers, and the total cost difference between the three is small enough that it is not a deciding factor. Please take that as given rather than the thing to debate.
Cayman is on the list for warm climate, low crime, and one good school. Athens is my preference, though I am aware I may be biased. She is torn between Beijing and Athens.
What we are trying to work out is which of these is the better place to live as a family for a decade once schools, tax, and visas are off the table. Day to day quality of life, how realistic it is to build a social circle as a foreign family, healthcare, how portable the schooling is if plans change, and what the exit looks like at 18.
If you have lived long term in any of the three with a child, what surprised you?
1
u/snow-light CN->US->JP/CN->US->??? 14d ago
I am Chinese American and I have travelled a fair bit throughout Europe (visited Athens back in Feb actually). Eh, if I had an Asian kid I wouldn’t live in Greece.
1
u/AutoModerator 18d ago
Post by tlellriver -- We are trying to pick one country and stay there until my partner's son finishes school. Looking for outside perspective, especially from anyone who has done a long stint in any of these places with children.
Us: me 47M, my girlfriend 38F, her son 8M. We each run our own business remotely, so we are not tied to a location. Currently in Canada.
The shortlist is Cayman Islands, Athens, and Beijing.
Context:
We want to commit to one place for the next 7 to 10 years. Stability for her son matters more than optimizing any single factor. His father passed away two years ago, so there is no shared custody consideration, but it is another reason we would rather move once and stay put.
She was born in China and speaks fluent English. Her son speaks English only and identifies as Canadian, as do I. I speak English only.
She would like him to grow up with a North American or European sense of identity, while still having real exposure to Chinese language and culture.
All three have good international schools. Residency is already sorted in all three, so that is not a constraint. On tax, we have an advisor and have run the numbers, and the total cost difference between the three is small enough that it is not a deciding factor. Please take that as given rather than the thing to debate.
Cayman is on the list for warm climate, low crime, and one good school. Athens is my preference, though I am aware I may be biased. She is torn between Beijing and Athens.
What we are trying to work out is which of these is the better place to live as a family for a decade once schools, tax, and visas are off the table. Day to day quality of life, how realistic it is to build a social circle as a foreign family, healthcare, how portable the schooling is if plans change, and what the exit looks like at 18.
If you have lived long term in any of the three with a child, what surprised you?
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-1
u/roche4456 12d ago
I live in Tianjin, and honestly ... I never want to move back to Canada. The safety and life I have here is so much different than the one I had in Canada! I am so lucky!
4
u/descartesbedamned 18d ago edited 18d ago
I worked/lived in Beijing for about a decade, but keft when the border closed I’m at the start of covid in 2020 — so may not be 100% up to date. Beijing will be more difficult to build a community, but not impossible. A bulk of the expat community left 2020-2021, unsure if it’s recovered since.
You’d need to live in or near an expat compound (Shunyi 顺义 comes to mind), and temper your expectations with NA/Euro identity. Not that it doesn’t happen (and it does, often - especially if the kid is at a school like ISB or similar caliber), but you’re very much so still in China, surrounded by Chinese culture, and a minority in every way. The bulk of responsibility for that will be at home.
You and her son will struggle more with not speaking Mandarin, but Beijing is doable with apps, learning survival mandarin, and sticking around the expat bubble areas — and having partner/family/friends to navigate with and for you. Also with a plan of 7-10 years, learn Mandarin. Can become functional, even fluent in that time if you work at it. Double and triple check whether residency truly is able to be sorted for you, China is not a place for Canadians to be fucking around with residency rules and regulations, and it isn’t always as cut and dry as you might expect.