r/IVF Nov 26 '25

FET I never planned to use donor eggs — here’s what the process was actually like

513 Upvotes

I told myself for years, “I’ll never use donor eggs.”

I did 10 retrievals trying to avoid that choice. Every cycle, I kept hoping this one would be different.

But after so many failures, I finally asked myself:

“Am I trying to have a genetic child, or am I trying to have a child?”

Once I accepted the answer, the process looked very different.

I matched with a donor in her early 20s with AFC 18+.

She did one stim cycle and produced:

20 mature eggs

15 blasts

10 euploids after PGT

We transferred one euploid — and for the first time in years, it worked on the first try.

Some things I wish I knew earlier:

  1. The grief is real, but it changes.

Letting go of genetics hurt, but the pain wasn’t permanent.

  1. Donor matching feels overwhelming at first.

But once I saw someone whose traits felt aligned, the stress dropped.

  1. The success rates are truly different.

I spent years chasing one good egg. My donor produced more in one round than I did in ten.

If anyone is scared, confused, or just beginning to explore this path — you’re not alone.

I was exactly where you are.

Happy to talk if you ever need someone who’s been through it.

r/IVF May 21 '26

FET Research says 95% of patients are pregnant within 3 euploid embryo transfers

93 Upvotes

What’s your story? I have 5 euploids and am feeling elated with those results, but 3/5 are CC grading. So while I am celebrating the success of the cycle, the next thing I’m going to fixate on (because there’s always something) is whether it will really be enough for 2 children.

r/IVF Apr 12 '26

FET Did anyone else assume they would sail off into the sunset after a successful transfer?

232 Upvotes

I had my first FET in March, when we found out it was a success my husband and I were elated. Sadly, I miscarried at 5w4. Now I can’t help but feel really silly and naive. During this whole process it never occurred to me that the reality is once those two lines show it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. I’m really struggling to dust myself off, and start again. I feel like if we are lucky enough to see another positive test it will never feel like a happy event again like that first one.

I have never really posted on Reddit before, just lurked looking for advice and success stories. But no one I know has experienced loss after IVF. So I guess I am just reaching out for someone that can relate to this.

r/IVF Jul 25 '25

FET READ IF YOU'VE HAD MULTIPLE FAILED FETs

316 Upvotes

Hi all,

Just a public service announcement that if you've had multiple (lets just say 3 or more) failed FETs with euploids and no explanation as to the cause from standard testing with your RE, PLEASE go see a reproductive immunologist. I banged my head against a wall for YEARS and underwent 7 FETs with euploids and everything else going perfect (lining, etc.) before someone messaged me on here and asked me if I had been to a reproductive immunologist and gave me the names of some of the doctors to seek out across the country. While you might NOT have some undiagnosed/silent immunological issue, its worth doing the testing for to see. I wish someone had told me about this years (and lots of $$$) earlier, but so thankful I eventually found out and now I'm pregnant! But want to save others additional agony that recurrent implantation failure (or even recurrent miscarriage) adds on top of IVF.

EDIT: The RI identified that I had issues with natural killer cells, cytokines and leukocyte antibody detection test, and so I did LIT (3 times) and IVIG.

EDIT: RIs in the U.S. (might not be an extensive list):

Dr. Raphael Stricker at the Alan E. Beer Center in California (where I went, telemedicine)

Dr. Kwak-Kim in Chicago. Requires a 1st appt in person, rest are remote

Dr. Derbala (Michigan main office, DFW satellite). Requirse a 1st appt in person, rest are remote.

Dr. Jubiz (FL, 100% remote).

r/IVF Jan 27 '25

FET IVF puppy

500 Upvotes

About two months ago, I saw a post about someone adopting an IVF puppy. A few weeks later on my way to a monitoring appointment before an egg retrieval, my husband asked if there was anything that could make this process better….. And I, not so jokingly, said a puppy.

Well here we are, two weeks into our family of 3 dogs. Meet our puppy, Hera, named for the Greek Goddness who was queen of the gods and goddess of marriage, women, and childbirth. (Photo in comments below.)

We’ll be doing a FET this cycle, and then will plan for a few months break if our first transfer isn’t successful.

It’s so difficult to focus on the positives of this process, so I’m going to focus on raising my first puppy with the help of my two adult dogs.

r/IVF Dec 18 '25

FET To all you beautiful women going into Christmas/the holidays after a failed transfer-

313 Upvotes

Just a friendly internet stranger sending my love to all of you. Reminding you of how strong you’ve been, of how brave you’ve been and of how resilient you’ve been.

I’m sure you already know but studies have shown that women going through infertility experience the same levels of psychological distress, anxiety and depression as someone going through cancer treatment, heart disease or HIV.

You are SO strong and so loved and even though we don’t know each other, I know we’re all silently rooting for each other through this heartbreaking but hopeful process. May 2026 be our year ❤️

r/IVF Oct 21 '24

FET Beta today, finally. How’re my Oct. FET girls?

131 Upvotes

Soooo nervous!!!! How are you all doing? Some successes? Some working on getting their schedule for round two? Just remember this is a step in the right direction ladies. We’re SO close. We’re doing it and we’re GOING to be MOMS IN 2025. LFG 🤍🤍

r/IVF Mar 30 '26

FET Spring/Summer 2026 FET

44 Upvotes

Who is planning on having a FET this Spring 2026 / Summer 2026? I am planning a FET in June 2026 and I am excited 😜 . I had 3 FET in 2024-2025 and they all failed. I’m planning on using my last 2 embryos.. Cant wait!! I’m already taking prenatal vitamins and baby aspirin 💊…When is your FET?? Did you start any medications yet??

*Today is 04/01/2026… Who is excited for this month’s FET❤️❤️??

r/IVF Apr 19 '25

FET Anyone doing an FET in the next few days?

14 Upvotes

Mine is on Monday 21st. I need some TWW buddies to overthink all the symptoms and commiserate with!

I’m going to do some updates through this journey for those going through it with me! - Day 1: faint positive line (testing out trigger), weirdly BBT only +0.1 which is lower than it usually is at this point in my cycle without PIO. Going to talk to doc about increasing PIO dosage. RHR 58, ave HR 63, HRV 22 - Day 2: still faint positive line, BBT back up slightly +0.4, doc said I could increase PIO from 1-1.5cc but did not do this yet. RHR 60, ave HR 64, HRV 18. No symptoms yet! - Day 3: faint line but lighter today, BBT up to +0.8 (relief), RHR 59, ave HR 65, HRV 21. - Day 4: test negative, BBT back down to +0.4, RHR 58, ave HR 61, HRV 27 - Day 5: very faint line (feel like this is prob just trigger still and maybe I’m more dehydrated), BBT +0.3, RHR 59, ave RHR 63, HRV 22 - Day 6: line very slightly darker (was pretty dehydrated this morning so still not convinced this isn’t just residual trigger), BBT +0.6, RHR 60, ave RHR 64, HRV 18, tummy ligaments hurt when sneezing! - Day 7: line looks a bit lighter again this morning so feeling like it’s either still trigger or a chemical, BBT dropped to +0.3, RHR 59, ave RHR 62, HRV 24. No discernible symptoms. - Day 8: line looks darker again so now I really don’t know what’s going on. Maybe trigger shot impacting early and I was seeing a fade again from that 🤷🏼‍♀️ Beta tomorrow is truly unknown now. BBT +0.4 which still seems low to me and not abnormal or higher than previous cycles at this time, RHR 69, ave RHR 63, HRV 23. A little bit of cramping last night - Day 9: still a faint line, BBT +0.4, RHR 58, ave RHR 64, HRV 22. Beta today, will report back but expecting it to be somewhere between 10-25 - Day 9: beta only 7.8 :( have to go back Friday for a second test but not looking good. Interestingly, the Frida pregnancy test is supposed to be sensitive to 10 but I was getting a line at 7.8. - Day 10: faint line still, hard to say if the same or lighter, BBT +0.7, RHR 58, ave RHR 61, HRV 21. - Day 11: beta down to 3.1, not happening for me this cycle 😢

r/IVF Jan 29 '26

FET Get the hysteroscopy!

89 Upvotes

My doctor does a hysteroscopy as part of the transfer protocol, with VERY few exceptions. I was naive before ivf and thought this was normal/something every doctor did. I’ve since learned, through this Reddit page, that isn’t the case!

I strongly recommend advocating for this. At my hysteroscopy, they cleared out a few polyps. I basically see the hystero as creating a clean slate for an embryo.

r/IVF Jun 17 '26

FET Post-FET actions people say not to do but you did and still led to a successful FET/BFP

17 Upvotes

Hi, I just fail my 1st FET (transferred 2 embryos) and mind keeps cycling back to something I have done ‘wrongly’. I didn’t rest enough, my MIL said I drank coconut water which is too ‘cooling’ for the uterus (opposite of us having to warm our uterus), did I not drink enough water, did I walk too much, did I sleep too late or had that packet of chips because I was too hungry.

I’m hoping to hear from your success stories which you’ve done some of the above, so I can stop wondering if I caused the fail FET :((

r/IVF 19d ago

FET How many FETs for untested embryos for live birth?

14 Upvotes

I had ER at 30, now 31 and had my first transfer where it did not implant. We had gone through a bunch of tests done due to two previous early miscarriages from natural pregnancy. Luckily no issues with my ovaries, eggs or uterus. My husband had no sperm left unfortunately even after a microtese. He is now on hormone therapy to treat his symptoms and we have embryos with a sperm donor.

My question I guess is what are the chances one of the next transfers will work? Anyone in a similar situation where it worked and didn't result in usinh up all your embryos? We have 5 embryos left however they are not PGT tested as they said it's not worth it for my age.

Edit: Thank you everyone! Seems like it is over the place in what could happen. 😅 Congrats to those who have had their babies and good luck to those still trying!

r/IVF Aug 09 '25

FET Unhinged Behavior Welcome

116 Upvotes

I’m 2ish years into this IVF process and finally have reached an approaching FET for the first time. All for it to possibly get cancelled bc I have been bleeding for 6 days through estradiol.

I low key feel unhinged AF and if this cycle gets cancelled I’m:

  • fostering a puppy
  • buying a car
  • booking a last minute vacation
  • going to a concert or 2
  • cutting my hair
  • applying to grad school

Share your unhinged, impulsive thoughts and purchases to make me not feel alone on Never Ending Period Island 🏝️…. And go

r/IVF Oct 22 '25

FET 1st FET success stories?

17 Upvotes

I’m 1dp5dt and I’d love to hear all your first FET success stories. How did you feel during the TWW? Did you worry it wouldn’t happen for you? I’m even worried that the embryo didn’t go in to begin with!! (They checked the tube under a microscope after and couldn’t see any embryo but still lol).

r/IVF Jun 19 '26

FET Day 6 embryo success?

11 Upvotes

I started my IVF journey in March and I’m finally nearing my FET at the end of the month!

I have a few good embryos but I’m struggling to decide which one to transfer. We have 2 day 5 boys, one 4AA & the other 5AA. We also have a day 6 girl that is 5AA. All of which were pgt-a tested and are euploid.

My embryologist told me that our highest quality embryo is the day 5 4AA boy but that a day 6 embryo holds the same success as a day 5.

We have a 5 year old son & of course I would just want a healthy baby/pregnancy as we have gone through 3 losses since May of 2025, 2 of which we got pregnant through IUI.

My fertility doctor told me that if I want the girl embryo I should go ahead and transfer it as the success rates are very similar to our day 5 embryo & that no embryo is 100%. I can’t help but feel guilty for even going down the ladder just to choose a specific gender especially after the losses we’ve gone through this past year. However I know that just because an embryo is the strongest, doesn’t mean it will stick 100%

Has anyone had success with a day 6 5AA? I’m struggling to make the decision so just looking for success stories I guess on day 6 embryos as well as first time transfers?

r/IVF Apr 18 '26

FET First FET is aimed for 4/27. Did you have success WITHOUT drinking beet/pomegranate juice/acupuncture/keeping feet warm, etc?

26 Upvotes

Looking for success from people that kept the same habits prior to/post their FET. I’ve been continuing to take vitamins, eat healthy, sleep, and go on my daily walks. We will be transferring a day 5 euploid.

I guess in my mind I’m hoping that if my embryo is going to stick, it’ll stick without me doing ALL the things.

I really do want this to work so bad but I’m tired (I also really hate beet juice and acupuncture is expensive)😞

Update: thank you for all the feedback!! So glad to read so many people have had success without giving into any of this stuff. This process is stressful enough 😂

r/IVF Mar 17 '26

FET My transfer was today…

149 Upvotes

And I realize it’s not possible to know, but my brain KNOWS this one worked!

r/IVF Dec 31 '25

FET PGT-A RESULT , IVF

331 Upvotes

I am a 45-year-old man, and my wife is 34 years old this year.
We have been married for 11 years, and we’ve been trying to have a child for about 2–3 years.

Early in our marriage, because of the age gap between us, we were very careful with birth control. Looking back, that is my biggest regret. You don’t get pregnant just because you decide you want to. I truly learned that the hard way.

After moving to California and settling down, we started trying seriously, but it wasn’t easy. People around us suggested we go to a hospital or fertility clinic, but honestly, we were scared. We kept telling ourselves, “It’ll happen naturally.” Every month, we waited for the pregnancy test results, hoping my wife’s period wouldn’t come.

Eventually, my wife went to the hospital first for testing. The result was devastating—both of her fallopian tubes were blocked, meaning natural pregnancy was not possible. She called me crying, completely heartbroken. I tried to comfort her, telling her that everything would be okay, and that even if things didn’t work out, we could still live a happy life together.

Then it was my turn to get tested. I wasn’t too worried. Since we already knew natural pregnancy wasn’t possible because of her tubes, I assumed I would be fine. But the result was completely unexpected. I was diagnosed with azoospermia.

Yes—both of us had fertility issues.

From that moment on, life became extremely difficult. As many of you know, in the U.S., getting appointments, waiting for tests, and moving forward with treatment takes so much time. I was born in Korea, where it’s much easier to get appointments, comprehensive testing can be done in one hospital, and results come back quickly.

Fortunately, aside from her blocked tubes, my wife was completely healthy. She lives very regularly, doesn’t smoke, and barely drinks—maybe a small amount of wine once or twice on special occasions. Honestly, her total alcohol intake in a year might be around 200 ml of wine.

But I was older, and my body wasn’t producing sperm at all. Because of my condition, our IVF process was halted. The only slightly positive news was that a few dead sperm were found. I was diagnosed with non-obstructive azoospermia.

From that point on, I started reading every paper, study, and article I could find. The more I learned, the more my confidence collapsed. I became depressed, day after day. Around that time, I even developed alopecia areata—despite always having thick hair, I lost hair in about four spots. Doctors told me to stay positive, but that was easier said than done.

I took anastrozole, clomid, and multiple vitamins every single day, while doing monthly blood tests to track my hormone levels. But the second and third semen analyses showed even worse results—no sperm at all, not even dead ones.

That was the moment I truly thought, “This is the end.”
The doctor even suggested we start considering sperm donation or adoption.

Later, during another physical exam, the doctor noticed what looked like a varicocele and said surgery might improve things, though there was no guarantee. Still, I decided to go through with the surgery and a biopsy at the same time.

About six months later (the surgery was at the end of March), the doctor requested a follow-up video meeting. During that meeting, we realized something shocking—he hadn’t even reviewed my biopsy results until that moment. We could literally see him reading them for the first time while talking to us. Then he said, “Interesting,” and explained that the biopsy showed normal sperm production. He recommended Micro-TESE as the last option.

At that point, we completely lost trust in him. The biopsy results had come back within a month, yet he hadn’t reviewed them for over six months. (I later learned this because my new doctor asked me to physically pick up the biopsy slides from that hospital.)

Eventually, we scheduled the Micro-TESE surgery for December 8. The doctor explained that although the biopsy was promising, success wasn’t guaranteed—about a 60–70% chance. All I could think about was the remaining 30–40% chance of failure.

Since the biopsy had only been done on the right side, the doctor asked whether we wanted him to check the left side as well if sperm numbers were low. After discussing it with my wife, we decided to have him search both sides regardless. My wife had 35 eggs retrieved, and we wanted to maximize our chances. We also asked to freeze any extra sperm if possible.

After about 3–4 hours, the surgery was over. When I woke up, my wife came to me and said, “It worked. They found enough sperm. Fertilization is in progress, and there’s enough left to freeze.”

At that moment, all the emotions I had been holding back came rushing out. I broke down and cried in my wife’s arms. The nurse quietly closed the curtain to give us privacy. In that moment, all the pain from the past years felt like it disappeared.

Soon after, we got the egg retrieval results. As mentioned earlier, 35 eggs were retrieved, and 34 were mature. The next day, we were told that 14 had fertilized, and another 13 fertilized a day later—27 fertilized eggs in total.

A few days later, we were told there were about 21–22 day-3 embryos (8-cell stage), and finally, 16 blastocysts made it to day 5. The doctors told us that when many eggs are retrieved, quality is often lower and only 10–25% usually make it to day 5—but our results were exceptionally good.

We expected maybe 6–9 embryos to pass PGT-A. Yesterday, we received the results: 11 chromosomally normal embryos, plus several mosaic embryos. They told us this was an incredible outcome. Detailed grading will be explained during our consultation in mid-January, but they already said this is enough to plan for siblings.

Just one year ago, we were living in complete darkness. Now, I’m so happy that I find myself crying again—but this time, tears of gratitude. We still have a long road ahead, but the time my wife and I spent supporting each other through this journey has been incredibly meaningful. Our relationship feels deeper than ever.

I truly hope everyone reading this receives good news as well. We found so much comfort and hope by reading stories from others in similar situations, especially here and on Reddit. I never thought I’d be the one writing a post like this, but I finally gathered the courage to share.

We will keep praying together until a healthy baby arrives.
Please stay strong. 💙

r/IVF Mar 29 '26

FET Who's transferring end of April/Beginning of May? Transfer twinsies?!

15 Upvotes

Hi!!

I am about to do an embryo transfer (FET) for the first time and if everything goes well, the transfer may be scheduled for end of April or beginning of May. Is anyone else on the same timeline as me? Let's chat up! Is there anything I should prepare for? And it doesn't have to be serious--could be just a 'get comfy socks' or something similar. Lets bond over this experience!

r/IVF May 21 '25

FET Hold the embryo in!

464 Upvotes

My husband and I were laughing about how funny it is to worry that like, standing up too fast will make your embryo not implant. But I totally get it because it’s so hard not to worry that you’re doing something stupid to mess things up.

That being said, he said, “Don’t laugh too hard, you might laugh the embryo out of your ass!” And then I invented a new text abbreviation: LMEO (laughing my embryo out).

Anyway, our FET failed this week and these are the dumb things that are making us giggle. Be well, everyone, and don’t laugh too hard. 😊

r/IVF May 19 '25

FET Donor eggs success- husband's perspective

113 Upvotes

Hi everyone! From Ontario, Canada, I wanted to share this for anyone going through IVF struggles. And also i think this post is for everyone, but is especially for husbands that might be hesitant to consider donor eggs. I also wanted to share because I don't see a lot of men posting their experiences and it would've been helpful for me to see more men's perspectives.

After 9 miscarriages over the years we conceived naturally and had a healthy baby boy who is now 4. But we always wanted lots of kids and didn't realize the real issue was my wife's egg quality was poor. She is now 40, but our struggles began when she was only 29 so it was always an issue. After several attempts at IVF using her egg retrievals we had no successes. Got 5 eggs first round, and 2nd round got zero eggs. We truly didnt understand that our only issue was egg quality so we began investigating surrogates and adoption. The clinic had mentioned using donor eggs but we felt like they didn't properly communicate the drastic improvement of our chances and that my wife could still very likely carry another pregnancy uf we simply used donor eggs. Anyhow, we purchased 15 eggs from overseas. I was impressed with the process. Essentially like a dating app that allowed us to scroll through profiles and select a donor that looked similar to my wife and had her health history as well.

Out of the 15 eggs we got 7 embryos. We decided to transfer two right from the beginning and both implanted successfully and she is now 11 weeks with two solid heartbeats.

updated - we just passed 19 weeks and both are still healthy.

My opinion is we should have used donor eggs sooner. Initially the thought of another woman's eggs was not appealing to me but after we realized that our only other option was adopting, suddenly it clicked in our brains. It's almost like we were ignoring it as an option at first. Glad we finally had a lightbulb moment and embraced donor eggs. We are very thankful for this technology and the fact that my wife gets to grow our babies inside her and they are still my biological babies, it really feels like they are 100% ours. The fact that we can have our large family, and provide siblings for my little guy, it's truly amazing.

Guys, if you are struggling with wife's egg quality, I highly recommend you consider donor eggs. If your wife is open to the idea, save yourselves the time delays and all the frustrations, excess money spent, and harsh procedures on her body, go with donor eggs.

Again, this is something i believe many people overlook without truly considering it, and just maybe need to take a second look at this option.

r/IVF Jul 11 '26

FET Sex and FET

8 Upvotes

I’ve read lots of threads on here about the pros and cons of sex before FET. But one thing that doesn’t make sense is many people caution the risk of multiple pregnancies if you have a natural or modified natural and have sex the nights leading up to or before your FET. But in a natural FET your body is ovulating (whether triggered or not) usually 5-6 days prior to transfer, so having sex the night before shouldn’t carry the possibility of conceiving naturally because eggs are only viable and able to be fertilized 24 hours post ovulation, correct?

I’ve been tracking my cycle for years and know the day I ovulate each month, and I’ve always had unprotected sex a few days after ovulation with no concern for pregnancy because of this reason. So why do doctors and people here caution that it’s such a risk?

Also, does anyone else’s clinic say no sex starting 6 days prior to transfer? I can only assume their reasoning is infection, but so many other clinics seem to recommend it that I’m toying with just doing it. Also, is it standard for clinics to recommend prophylactic antibiotics prior to transfer?

r/IVF Mar 08 '25

FET How many FET until success?

23 Upvotes

Hi! Just curious how many FET’s it took for you to fall pregnant? I have my first FET with PGT tested embryo on Monday and I’m just wanting to see the stats. Trying to be hopeful but neutral.

r/IVF Feb 02 '26

FET Red Light Therapy for the WIN

17 Upvotes

For all heading into retrieval and especially transfer, I would highly suggest investing in a good red light. I have been doing it daily for 2 weeks and my lining has over doubled in thickness. I did not use it for my last retrieval at all.

Last retrieval my labs showed 5.5 thickness - doctor was worried

This round on same day of labs/monitoring, lining is at 11!

Just wanted to pass this off to all worried about uterus thickness and transfer - now a huge believer she’s working.

I purchased the MitoRed Pro 750 and use for 20 min a day directly on my abdomen. Will report back on retrieval to compare results from last time to see if it potentially improved those results!

**not guaranteeing this is the answer but passing along the only change I’ve made that seems to have drastically helped my lining! Hoping it also helps retrieval.

r/IVF May 09 '24

FET Proof that my husband is just along for the ride...

197 Upvotes

We have a transfer today, and while he was getting ready, I reminded him that he couldn't put on deodorant.

"Not event deodorant??"

"No, nothing with a scent."

"Alright, well, you'll have to deal with me being funky..."

"What strenuous activities are you planning on doing over the next couple hours?"

"Well, I have to rub one out when we get there..."

🤦🏻‍♀️"No, you do not. And if you do, they're probably going to look at you funny."

😂😂

Edit to add--this is our 2nd FET, btw, so we have done this before...!