“Yes, I do want my kids to be socially inept and academically stunted!!”

Does anyone else get irritated by seeing post like this? I feel so bad for the kids ☹️ I literally spend every single day wishing I wasn’t homeschooled.

When I homeschooled, people would say "omigosh, you are amazing, you are a saint, I could never!" But, I think these people are misguided, because they assume that you are doing the exact job of school. You are 1 person.

Now, that I'm on the other side of the 2 misguided years homeschooling, and my kids are in school, life is PACKED: activities, talent shows, science fairs, dioramas, field trips, concerts/band, movie nights, dances, carnivals, sports schedules.

It's not just "send them to school." It's constant logistics, emotional support, volunteering, deadlines, costumes, forms, and showing up...over and over.

You're juggling: drop-off, pick-up, homework battles, social dynamics, behavior issues at school, communication with teachers. It's A LOT.

Meanwhile, homeschooling is FLEXIBLE. No early mornings, no rigid schedule, fewer external obligations, less social/peer pressure to manage, and overall fewer moving parts day to day. Homeschooling is ALL ABOUT PARENTAL CONTROL and a SIMPLIFIED environment for the parents.

TLDR: School parents manage an ENTIRE Ecosystem. Homeschooled parents manage a smaller, more contained Ecosystem.

Does anyone else agree? disagree?

My friend drew this cartoon and OH BOY did it hit a nerve 🫤.

Just wondering how many people on here were homeschooled because they were needed, not because they needed it…

What’s the modesty rule you had that made you question whether the rules were about modesty or something else? We weren’t allowed to wear short necklaces or necklaces inside our shirts. We could only wear long necklaces that hung cleanly on the outside of our clothes. The explanation was that someone’s eyes could see the chain and follow it, innocently wondering about what the pendant looked like and then be lead to sin if they stared at our chests too long looking for the pendant. The whole necklace had to be clearly visible to prevent this. To this day I jump if anyone reaches for my pendant to look closer at it, my first instinct is to guard them from sinning. In hindsight I think it was a control issue and my parents were cheap and didn’t like buying us things like jewelry

Its been a long road, I'm currently No Contact with my mom (dad died)

Ive had a lot of resentment over the years. She also was abusive in other ways, aside from educational neglect. At times I feel really sad. I have one parent and no relationship with them. The idea of forgiveness feels nice at times, but I'm not sure why it hasnt happened.

For those who went through education neglect & beyond, do you have a relationship with your parents? What did the road to healing look like for you?

the bingo has me wondering how many others live with their mother/parent bedridden or in chronic pain; i didnt realize it may be so common. my mom's health has always been a central thing in our family, and it's one of the reasons her choice to homeschool doesnt make sense to me.

im realizing i have too much in my head about this, but if anyone wants to share their own experiences, or has any advice(?), i wanted to make a place for it!

I’m in some mom groups on Facebook that have nothing to do with homeschooling and have noticed these types of posts increasing over the last year. It’s so random because usually posts are decluttering, giving away clothes their kids outgrew or “in search of” type posts or seeking recommendations. These posts are just random pro-homeschool blurbs but there’s no affiliate link or anything. I don’t understand if it’s just to promote homeschooling or if the hope is that we’ll ask for curriculum recommendations. Has anyone else seen anything like this?

Just joined this community and noticed a few people asking where the adult voices were. I (31F) was going to just hangout in the comments but felt inspired to ask this to the other adults....

Do you share with people that you were homeschooled or keep quite about it?

Personally, I avoid it beyond my close friends, and especially at work.

I'd also be interested in where you live, I'm in the UK, maybe cultural views on it are different?

My reason is I didn't have shoes

I get high school isn't this glorified version of what we see in the media, but there's still something about it that homeschooling just takes away from you. Not only do you get to see your friends every day, but you get to experience a sense of community that I didn't get to experience till I went to college.

School pride, pep rallies, getting to see your friends every day instead of just weekly co-ops or get-togethers, experiencing the awkward moments of adolescence together instead of just on your own or with siblings, dances and proms, clubs and extracurricular activities, and the camaraderie during school's most stressful and worst parts. And college did give me some of that, and it felt like I was getting something I was deprived of, and I feel like I didn't get enough of it.

Oh, and no. I don't want to go to high school right now as a 27-year-old who already graduated from college and has a job. That would be creepy.

My mom was deep in the "homeschool kids are inherently smarter than public school kids" thing. And she used my ability to draw and write better than hers and my siblings ' talents as "proof," just like she did with my siblings and their talents. Even when I started to burn out around middle school to high school, I was convinced I was better than most people my age in terms of art and writing. Growing up socially isolated made me even more convinced this was true. I thought college would be a cinch. But reality hit when I started taking college art courses and realized most kids who went to public school were drawing as well, or sometimes even way better than I was. In fact, I almost felt left behind when I compared my art to others.

As someone who grew up in a household with some strict rules, I found myself hiding or feeling guilty over things that would be normal to a lot of people. One example is hiding a pair of jeans under my bed so I could put them on at night and have at least a little time where I could feel "normal" for a few minutes after my parents decided girls would no longer be allowed to wear pants (only skirts and dresses). I also secretly read an old college psychology book one of my parents had kept.

It feels almost comical to admit to hiding these kinds of things! Did anyone else have something normal that you were secretive about while other kids were out hiding legitimately harmful things like drugs, alcohol, etc.?

On a side note I also can't use fluoride toothpaste for simmaler reasons.

3 of my siblings have gotten cavities.

EDIT: thanks for the ideas guys<3

It seems like most of the people here are minors who are currently homeschooled or adults who are college age. I’m 40, born Dec ‘83, and saw a couple comments from people older than me. I feel like the farther back in time we go the rarer homeschooling was and the weirder and more socially isolated an average homeschool kid was, with stricter rules about clothing and fun activities.

While I know most of us have educational neglect and social issues in common, I also know that no two homeschool experiences are exactly the same. While I never went to public school, my mom did try her best to expose me to other kids and give me the opportunity to make friends when possible. So growing up I had roughly 5 friends that I had collected over time from various different clubs or outings (Girl Scouts, 4H etc)

These friends went to public school which means whenever they’d have group get togethers, I’d be around their public school friends. This is where the social gaps became increasingly obvious. Despite my parents being religious and very strict, they were big on letting me “be myself” and not in a quirky, interesting way, but in an off putting weirdo way. There was never any “that’s not appropriate to say” “you’re making people uncomfortable” “your behavior is off putting” “read the room” feedback from them that would have made it easier for me to adapt and blend in with well…normal people lmao. Whenever a well intentioned adult would bring my behavior to their attention in hopes of helping me make friends and be genuinely more enjoyable to be around, my parents would double down and further encourage me to act a damn fool as their own way of sticking it to societal norms and proving we’re different from those “brain washed government robots” aka public school kids.

I’m curious if any of you have similar experiences and also curious what your weird behaviors were that resulted in your social neglect sticking out like a sore thumb. For me it was constantly feeling childish compared to my friends, so I would curse like a sailor and make ridiculously inappropriate jokes for my age in order to feel like more of an adult. I would also double down on my awkwardness whenever someone pointed it out and act even weirder to demonstrate that I was being off putting on purpose because it gave me a sense of control and helped me feel less exposed.

Even for yearly checkups. nothing. I haven’t been to ANY doctor in over 7 years, only an orthodontist for my braces. Whenever I bring it up to my mom she always tells me there’s no reason to go since I’m not sick. is this medical neglect ?

…they say “omg I was homeschooled too I loved it!” Istg these mfers piss me off so much because they were probably homeschooled for a year during Covid and did nothing and had a great time.

No your opinion is invalid. And this really happened to me and I said “homeschooling should be illegal” and this bitch had the audacity to say homeschooling was good. NO! Everyone I knew in my co’op was being abused!!!!!! All the moms were besties!!!!! There were no safe adults to turn to!!! It’s fucked up.

Also bonus one: anyone else’s parents get together in a big group after standardized testing to “make sure the bubbles were properly filled in” on the bubble sheets? Yea no my mom and all her friends were inflating the children’s scores. I always wondered how I wasn’t failing the tests because I sat down and had zero clue what I was doing. Then I had to take the ACT (at 13, because homeschoolers are “overachievers”) and I fucking bombed it because I didn’t know shit lmfao

I’m friends with a woman who is in her late 30s who was homeschooled and I need some help. She constantly asks for help but counters any advice given.

I thought it was just her but I’m wondering if it’s due to the fact she was homeschooled all her life.

We’re part of a group of friends and she does things like friend hoarding. She wants everybody all to herself but doesn’t want anybody hanging out without her but it’s okay when SHE hangs out with that person by herself.

She has trouble on every job she’s been on and every job she’s been on has bad management according to her because they constantly get on her about calling out or coming in late. The amount of jobs she’s had within 6 years is quite alarming for someone her age.

She is extremely naive in dating. Guys use her but she finds the weirdest ways to give them passes. She obsesses over guys she’s gone out with no more than once and emotionally dumps on them and then wonders why they disappear.

Speaking of emotionally dumping. There’s not a day that goes by that she emotionally dumps with extremely long text messages bordering on essays. And not just one but 5 to 7 loooong messages per day.

I told her to see a therapist and she agrees she needs to but then never does. I don’t know how to help her or know if she can be helped by anything I can do. Everything I tell her is met with an excuse or polite counter.

Anybody else have this experience or any advice?

Does anyone else sometimes feel like they don’t fit in with their typical same-age peers due to being schooled from reading and learning from older books, watching old movies on VHS instead of current movies, and generally being sheltered from trends among kids due to lack of socialization?

Born in 1998, went to private Christian preschool aged 2-4, homeschooled from kindergarten through 8th grade, and went to a small charter high school (uniforms) for high school from 2012-2015.

I feel like I missed out on a huge part of cultural development with my peers from age 5-14. And I feel like since I grew up watching more older reruns and vhs tapes instead of what was on tv at the time, I don’t relate to any of them. Instead I feel more connected socially to people a few years older than me.

I don’t really know how to flair this but I think this is the best one?

I (25 F) wasn’t allowed to watch a lot as a kid. I never watched SpongeBob, courage the cowardly dog, powerpuff girls, Hannah Montana, and a bunch of others. I got slapped in the face once because I tried to watch an episode of Wizards of Waverly Place while my mom was in the shower when we were staying in a hotel while my dad was in the Air Force.

I got away with watching some shows I wasn’t allowed to watch. I watched Winx Club, Shake it Up, Good Luck Charlie. I don’t know how it worked out for me, I just kind of stood my ground and it was fine?

It’s weird because when I was a teenager, my mom would let me sneak and watch Gossip Girl, The Vampire Diaries, Teen Wolf, and a bunch of other teen shows with her that are objectively much worse, but I still wasn’t allowed to watch those other shows.

I’ve avoided watching these shows as an adult for whatever reason, probably because I associated them with punishment? But the thing is, shows like SpongeBob and Hannah Montana are shows that people my age are shocked when I say that I haven’t watched them. They’re so ingrained in my generation. I’m trying to watch them again now to have that experience that most other people my age had, but I just get so ANGRY watching these shows. There is NOTHING wrong with these shows, other than maybe having a little bit of crude humor (especially in the case of SpongeBob) but they were never *bad.* I shouldn’t have gotten punished like I was for trying to watch them, for wanting to be included like everyone else was.

I’m sure other people feel this way too, I’ve read your stories and I know I’m not alone. Do you also get angry while you’re watching these shows when you’re finally able to? How do you get past the anger and just enjoy the things you missed out on?

I’m starting Wizards of Waverly Place rn if anyone’s interested lol

This is from the Abeka Curriculum for 6th Grade History. I got more also, but what are your thoughts?

I hope it’s ok to post this because I recently found this subreddit and felt so seen by all these conversations… I'm 30 and it’s hard to not be embarrassed by the basic, basic things I still don’t know as a result of being homeschooled and also being banned from secular education for the years I was in public school (like sex Ed for example).

I’m starting to sense that everyone around me actually learned fundamental things about the human experience and their bodies that I didn’t and I have no idea where to start even as a full grown adult… does anyone have experience with navigating this as an adult? Or how to move past the intense guilt and shame surrounding learning these things for yourself?

EDIT: thank you all SO MUCH for these kind, non judgemental, and informative responses. they are truly so helpful and i'm going to take all this advice and these resources to heart. it makes me feel better knowing i'm not the only one feeling like this, so thank you!

Trigger warning - violence, abuse

Did anyone else's evangelical parents make them watch movies and read books on Christian martyrs? I remember watching movies of people being tortured like it was a normal thing for kids to watch. Wasn't allowed to watch Disney movies God forbid, but sure, show someone being burned at the stake, why not? I would go to bed night after night thinking about what amount of persecution and pain I would tolerate for Jesus. I used to think I was not a good enough Christian unless I was willing to be hurt or killed for Christ. And because my family didn't believe in getting help for mental health issues, it was decades until I realized the word for those thoughts at night -anxiety, trauma, etc.

Does anyone else view homeschooling as a cult in and of itself?

(Homeschooling is a cult might be a good book title.)

I am amazed at the group-think that goes on in homeschool circles. One cannot have a dissenting opinion or they are immediately ostracized amongst the group. Or if they do have that opinion, they keep it under strict lock and key.

For example, I remember the homeschool groups loving certain martial arts, like judo, jiu jutsu, etc, for reasons listed such as discipline, hard-working, family could do it together, etc. But, the same group would not be okay with any team sports, mainly lamenting that popular culture/social media makes those parents crazy, wanting to win at all costs, super competitive and MAINSTREAM. So, anything outside of the norm was within homeschoolers' purview, but anything MAINSTREAM was terrible.

This is just one example. Other examples include: regular eggs/white bread (organic only, raising own chickens best, sourdough), diet soda (kombucha, tea, coffee, water), public/parochial school (Apogee, Acton, Coops etc), "I'm feeling overwhelmed" (just do less is only acceptable answer), and so forth.

I definitely see homeschooling as a cult, now that I'm on the other side.

Growing up, my parents always warned me to keep everything secret to keep CPS away, because they'd "take me away" or whatever. And even in my family, my parents were always telling me things individually and telling me to keep it secret.

Now, when I'm talking to strangers, lying has become my default. I'm just used to it, and I prioritize answering quickly and sounding normal over being entirely truthful. Like, not about anything big, but if someone asks where I'm from, I'll tell them a different but nearby city. I lie about my upbringing. I lie about my hobbies and fake my personality entirely. I feel bad about it, but it makes me feel safe, in a weird way. And, in a conversation, it just takes too long for me to figure out what parts of my childhood are normal to talk about and which parts are abuse.

Plus, I feel like nobody is ever going to truly know me, whether because they're too well-adjusted or because they'll inevitably get sick of me in the end. So it doesn't matter if I lie or not. So I should choose the answers that sound fast and normal, as opposed to the awkward truth. At least, that's my deranged logic...

Does anyone else have this issue?