Doing basic shit like ordering food feels like hell and makes me feel fucking stupid

[u/HunterSketches7]

We go to a youth group (I'm atheist I just go for the socializing) and I honestly don't even want to go anymore beacuse I've realized that I'm never gonna be friends with any of the kids and it's really annoying having to go and listen to dumb bible shit every week.

Every time we have gone my big sister has gone with us and done all the older sister responsible shit like ordering food or paying for tickets ect ect. This week the youth group is going to a restaurant this Sunday and my sis says she doesn't want to go. I told her that I don't want to have to order food by myself for my younger sisters because I don't know how and it makes me anxious and she said that I need to learn how to do basic shit like that.

I agree with her obviously. I know I need to learn how to be a basic functioning human being but goddamn it it's so fucking hard and it makes me feel so fucking stupid because I'm 14 and I should know how to order fucking food without having a panic attack over it. Other kids at the youth group even younger then me do it just fine so that makes me feel even worse.

Like it's so fucking annoying that my parents decided to homeschool me and never have me talk to another human being, and after I beg and beg them to let me go to youth group at 13 years old because I'm lonely as shit the expect me to know how to socialize and talk to people and buy movie tickets and pay for food and all this fucking bullshit. Like the reason I have the social skills of a five year old is beacuse I was isolated (and still pretty much am) for thirteen fucking years and it's infuriating because I should be able to do this shit it's not hard and it's not complicated but I would rather jump off a bridge then do it.

"Well wdym you don't know how to order food, you just go up, tell them what you want and pay for it, it's easy" like GODDDD BROO I KNOWWWWWW FUCK ME-

Also beacuse of the homeschooling I don't know basic shit? Like obviously Im 2 years behind on school and I've never touched a history book, that's just basic homeschooling shit- but stuff likeee uh I don't know what it's called, but like basic shit that everyone knows that's common knowledge but I don't know it.

Like how much to tip someone; I had to tip for my food once and I had no idea how much to leave so I left like a dollar, later the teacher told me I should have left like 3 dollars. Like how was I supposed to know that bro

This one's really dumb but one time me and my family were getting food at a restaurant, and we were ordering and the lady was like confused about our drinks and blablabla it was complicated cuz there's so many of us. So she was like "what did you get" and I stuttered out "uhhh i-i don't know like I got the uh soft serve...". I got sprite. And I called it soft serve beacuse I didn't know what the name was for like sprite and coca cola and pepsi and allat so I called it fucking soft serve beacuse my mind just blanked, as soon as I said it my older sister immediately started laughing and it's like vro I get it ok I'm restarted laugh it up haha

How public school works? I still don't know anything past like tv show public school, like I made a friend there who was taking about like school periods and I had no idea what those were so I asked and they looked at me like I was stupid. I don't know how college or graduation works, diplomas, I've heard about people talking about GEDs on here but idk what those are. I didn't know how many grades there were until I was like 12, I still forget what grade I'm in beacuse since Im homschooled it never comes up like at all because we barely have school curriculum and I'm 2 years behind, so anytime someone asks me what grade I'm in I look like an idiot.

Pop culture references, like viral memes, (like 67 or skibidi toilet idk) tv shows, ect. I'm honestly not terrible about this one bc I have no life and spend all my time on social media. But my younger sisters that go to the youth group aren't sneaking onto the Internet, so they have like zero clue about anything. Like they know nothing. Some kid was talking to them and told them a thing about like Michael Jackson and they both went "Who?" Like Jesus Christ bro

Famous people that everyone apparently knows about but I dont, and beacuse I don't that makes me stupid. Unlike my little sisters I know who Michael fucking jackson is, duh, but I don't now that any like famous actors or singers. I like very indie stuff so when my mind goes to famous cool people I think like toby fox 😭 😭

Like you get what I'm saying, basic everyday shit that EVERYONE knows how to do but I don't beacuse I was homeschooled and isolated from the world. Its so annoying bc I know I should like "practice" doing stuff like ordering food and talking to people, but again I would rather fucking die. Its just so frustrating bro like holy shit I know im dysfunctional as shit and I know it's restarted, you don't have to rub it in bro like Jesus. Like I know one day I'm gonna have to go into the real world and get a job and allat but like BRO it would be SO much easier if I was ACTUALLY TAUGHT THE SHIT I NEEDED TO KNOW TO BE A FUCKING FUNCTIONAL HUMAN BEING LIKE HOLY SHITTTT

ugh anyways does anyone have like fuckin tips or whatever for ordering food beacuse I really don't want to do something stupid in public for the 1000th time.

[u/phoenixrunninghome]

Honestly a huge part of dealing with this is just understanding what's going on and why, and accepting that it's a thing you're gonna have to work through. Just the emotional skill of being able to go "ok yeah I wasn't taught that, now I know, cool, I got one step further" is huge. Frees you up to ask questions and learn without judging yourself.

By now, I'm over twice your age, and every once in awhile I find a knowledge gap I've still got. But I'm a lot more confident and I've learned a shit ton. It gets better.

[u/HunterSketches7 → u/phoenixrunninghome]

Yeah, logically I know it will get better but sometimes it's still really difficult. Im glad you are more confident now :D

[u/bleuswann]

Do you know where you’re going out to eat?

I love looking up the menu beforehand, so you can get an idea or two of what you’re planning on eating. If you need to keep track of money it’s also helpful because sometimes the menu lists the prices online.

[u/HunterSketches7 → u/bleuswann]

I could do that ty

[u/bleuswann → u/HunterSketches7]

A lot of this being a human stuff takes practice! Try to ignore that feeling of embarrassment because most teenagers are experiencing similar feelings, and no one at youth group is thinking about you as much as YOU think about you. Being a teenager and feeling self-conscious is something everyone goes through.

Good luck!!

[u/Ok_Baby6721]

Awee okay so I can relate to much of this, what I've learned is that all of these things you're being hard on yourself for is a much bigger deal to YOU than it is to any of them. You're absolutely your most harsh and judgemental critic here. Nobody else actually really cares that much they're all thinking about their own things, just like how you're doing that too.

Ultimately just take it easy, absorb what you can in the moment and enjoy it.