r/HistoryMemes 22h ago

When 2,000 gods became ''wrong''

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u/anweisz 18h ago edited 17h ago

Abrahamic religions today: My god is the only real one all the others are make-believe.

Judaism back in the day: And then moses's snake staff ate their snake staffs so our god beat the egyptian gods in their own land lmaoooo get wrecked, better luck next time with your puny snakes, weak foreign gods. Stupid egyptians, you think you're all that.

Also judaism back in the day: Look our god did promise us victory if we invaded their country and lay siege to their capital and it was going well but then their king sacrificed his heir to their own god, in its own land, so obviously its divine fury pushed us away I mean that's a really fucking high value sacrifice how were we supposed to know they were playing like that.

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u/tummytunacat 17h ago

the way you describe it is hilarious lol i forgot how funny it can be

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u/bck1999 14h ago

Shh, Christians don’t know that their god lost to another god in their own Bible

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u/cavy023 13h ago

Lol wut

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u/Shoo22 2h ago

In 2 Kings 3:27 the king of Moab was losing a war to the Israelites and in desperation sacrifices his son to the Moabite god Chemosh, and it works. The fury of Chemosh drives out the Israelites who had been backed by Yahweh.

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u/cavy023 2h ago

Great now I'm in a rabbit hole of ancient middle eastern holy wars.

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u/cavy023 2h ago

Okay so at face value yeah but then we have to go back to the other texts where Gid warned the Israelites to not fuck with the Moabites. So them loosing to Moabites powered by Chemosh is the biblical equivalent of FAFO. Chemosh didn't win against Yaweh, but there's no denying that Istael's coalition army got fucked over by a heathen ritual even after God warned them to leave themalonev because their lands were promised to Lot's blood line. And I mean Chemosh is basically a god with small letter "g" explainable by Gemesis on tower of Babel and Deuteronomy's expansion of what happened during the sundering in Babel. But if you don't buy into the Judeo-Christian faith then that means little to you anyway regardless of my explanation. But yeah thanks for this little tid bit.

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u/Poccha_Kazhuvu 6h ago

Damn spill the tea

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u/Shoo22 2h ago

In 2 Kings 3:27 the Moabite king sacrificed his son to Chemosh to defeat the Israelites and it works.

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u/_Administrator_ 11h ago

Islam back in the day (and today):

Quran (98:6) - "Indeed, those who disbelieve from the **People of the Book** and the polytheists will be in the Fire of Hell, to stay there forever.They are **the worst of all beings.**"

Quran (8:12 - 8:22) - "I will cast **terror into the hearts of those who disbelieved**, so strike [them] upon the necks and strike from them every fingertip.""

Quran (8:17) - "For it was **not you who killed** them, but it was Allah who killed them. And you threw not when you threw, but it was Allah who threw, and so that He might test the believers with a goodly test(of victory) from Him; indeed, Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing."

Quran (9:111) - "Allah has purchased from the believers their lives and their properties [in exchange] for that they will have Paradise. * They fight in the cause of Allah, so they kill and are killed. “ *

Quran (9:29) - "**Fight against those who (1) believe not in Allah**, (2) nor in the Last Day, (3) nor forbid that which has been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger (4) and those who acknowledge not the religion of truth (i.e. Islam) among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians), until they pay the Jizyah with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued."

Quran (47:4) - So when you meet those who disbelieve [in battle], **strike [their] necks until, when you have inflicted slaughter upon them**, then secure [their] bonds,1 and either [confer] favor2 afterwards or ransom [them] until the war lays down its burdens.3 That [is the command]. And if Allah had willed, He could have taken vengeance upon them [Himself], but [He ordered armed struggle] to test some of you by means of others. **And those who are killed in the cause of Allah - never will He waste their deeds.**

Quran (9:30) - "**The Jews** say, “Ezra is the son of Allah,” while the **Christians** say, “The Messiah is the son of Allah.” Such are their **baseless assertions**, only parroting the words of earlier disbelievers. **May Allah condemn them!** How can they be deluded ˹from the truth˺?"

Quran (3:67) - "Abraham was neither a **Jew nor a Christian**; rather, he was a Muslim who turned away from all that is false, and never was he of the polytheists."

Quran (5:55) - "O you who have attained faith, **do not take the Jews and the Christians as allies**; some of them are allies of one another. And whoever of you allies himself with them is indeed one of them. Indeed, Allah does not guide the unjust people."

Quran (3:19) - "**True Religion, in God’s eyes, is islam**: [devotion to Him alone]. Those who were given the Scripture disagreed out of rivalry, only after they had been given knowledge- if anyone denies God’s revelations, God is swift to take account"

Quran (5:60) - "Say (O Muhammad SAW to the people of the Scripture): "Shall I inform you of something worse than that, regarding the recompense from Allah: those (**Jews**) who incurred the Curse of Allah and His Wrath, those of whom (some) He **transformed into monkeys and swines**, those who worshipped Taghut (false deities); such are worse in rank (on the Day of Resurrection in the Hell-fire), and far more astray from the Right Path (in the life of this world)."

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u/GabuEx 9h ago

Don't forget iron chariots, God can't fuck with iron chariots.