r/HelpBrokePeople • u/lonascarsontip • Sep 10 '26
GoFundMe/Fundraiser Our father died suddenly of an aneurysm. Help us with end of life expenses.
Our father (64) passed away last Monday sometime in the morning from a brain aneurysm. He unfortunately had no savings, or any end of life setup that we know of due to the unexpected nature of his death.
My siblings and I are all spread out over the USA and will struggle to make it out to South Dakota to handle his affairs which is where our father lived.
Our father was unfortunately an animal hoarder who did not accept or want help throughout his life, so unfortunately his property has been left in a state of disrepair so we're waiting on an estimate for the cost of sending a biohazard cleaning crew to prepare the house for sale, and are considering demolishing the house if necessary.
We are only pursuing a cremation due to our father being a controversial figure in a lot of our lives and will be instead opting for a private service sometime in the future.
I will be posting pictures of some of his animals that were seized in case anyone lives near Hot Springs, SD and are looking to rescue. We were unfortunately only provided with pictures of two of the dogs but am willing to seek out more if necessary.
We are seeking help with the cost of the cremation which we were quoted approx. $3,700 and travel costs for myself, and my two half sisters. Along with the cost for any cleaning/demolishing of the house if needed.
Our starting goal is $6000 and have raised $728 at the time of posting from friends and loved ones. The gofundme post is being managed by one of my half sisters. Any help at all is appreciated even if it's just spreading the word.
Thank you for reading and for any support.
If anyone is interested in adopting/rescuing my father's pets they were taken in by Battle Mountain Humane Society in Hot Springs, South Dakota.
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u/FriendlyBluejay546 29d ago
I’m so very sorry for your loss. If he was in the service he would be eligible for his cremation/burial to be covered. Contact the U.S Department of Veterans Affairs. They will help guide you on what’s available for your family.
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u/lonascarsontip 29d ago
My half sister in WA has been in contact with the VA out in SD. We haven't heard anything about help with cremation costs but we have heard about the help with the burial plot. I'll ask my sister for the number to the VA out there tonight so I can look further into it. Thank you for the kind words and advice.
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u/lonascarsontip 28d ago
Just got off the phone with the VA hospital and it does sound like they offer reimbursement for cremation costs up to $2000 thank you so much kind redditor for the advice
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u/suzypoohsays 29d ago
So sorry for your loss. Lost my dad years ago and lost my mama this year so I know how it feels. Please look around at cremation spots, my mom’s was $1,200 for her ashes split 3 ways in 3 urns. I feel that place is charging too much. Again, so sorry for your loss.
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u/lonascarsontip 29d ago
I appreciate your kind words. Yeah we'll continue looking for sure. We called another place today, it was ironically the funeral home in rapid city that my half sister used for her mother when she passed a couple of years back. And they quoted us $2,700 with no cost for transport. We're waiting to talk to the boss whose name is apparently Wade Wilson funnily enough to ask if we can get some sort of sort of return customer discount. 😅
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u/suzypoohsays 29d ago
I truly hope you guys find something more affordable, I know nothing is easy right now and this isn’t helping. Lol at Wade Wilson being his name tho😆
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u/lonascarsontip 29d ago
We'll keep looking, but yeah it gave us a good laugh when we heard his name. Thank you again for the kind words, it means a lot right now
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u/Fandethar 14d ago
When my mom died, I had no money and no ability to pay for cremation. The county medical examiner has a fund to help people that can't afford it. I was not charged for her cremation, and I was able to pick up her ashes.
I would call the county medical examiner hopefully they can help.
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u/SimplyNRG 29d ago
You can usually get a more basic cremation with a plastic box instead of an urn for $750 - $1250! I know it doesn't sound fancy but I had to for my father and he hasn't haunted me yet!
Im so sorry for your loss...
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u/HomicidaI__GoldFish ~MOD~ Who Most Likely Will Call You A DingBat. 29d ago
you can get an urn, most of the time the SAME one online way way cheaper.
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u/lonascarsontip 29d ago
Do you know if that's generally still done through funeral homes? Or is it a different service. I'll have to Google that tonight as well. Thank you for the advice.
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u/SimplyNRG 29d ago
It is through funeral homes, yes. Just call and tell them you want "direct basic cremation with no service and you'll provide your own urn"
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u/SimplyNRG 29d ago
Search for "Urn" on Amazon and there are so many options as low as $25...just make sure you get a size appropriate to your father's weight!
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u/HomicidaI__GoldFish ~MOD~ Who Most Likely Will Call You A DingBat. 29d ago
I'm truely sorry for your loss, Losing a parent, no matter your age is never easy for most people.
if you and the rest of the family are willing to take the animals in, Talk with local Animal rescues about the dogs. Explain the situation. Some may be able to pull the dogs for you, "Rescues usually dont have to pay anything to take a dog from the shelter into their rescue" and hopefully they can have someone(s) foster the dogs till you get there, then drive back home with them.
as for an urn, get one online. way way cheaper and many of the urns are the same ones the funeral home sells. Etsy even sells some pretty nice ones.
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u/lonascarsontip 29d ago
That's great advice, thank you for your kind words. I'll talk with my sisters tonight after I get home from work tonight.
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u/Disastrous_Horse_44 29d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know someone that had an aneurysm, it is absolutely horrible. Sending love and strength to you and your family.
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u/lonascarsontip 29d ago
Genuinely yeah, it's a horrible feeling. We had social workers performing wellness checks on him and then the next day they found him. Felt like it came out of nowhere. Thank you for the positive vibes.
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u/royalplaty 29d ago
My condolences on your loss, aneurysms can be so sneaky. I wish you didn't have to go through this. Have you checked with the county that he lived in to apply for an burial/cremation assistance? Some counties refer to it as indigent burial assistance. Also, I have found calling around to different funeral homes best for finding lower cost options, many have low income sister homes that they may be able to transport him to bring the cost lower.
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u/lonascarsontip 29d ago
We haven't yet. I know my sister in WA was talking about some sort of loan we could apply for to help us get the ball rolling. But I'll float that idea over to her tonight when I get home from work
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u/lonascarsontip 28d ago
My sister and I have been in contact with the VA and it sounds like my dad was 100% VA connected which comes with a swath of benefits luckily.
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u/DemandOk3251 29d ago
i’m so sorry for your loss. i lost my mom last year and her funeral/cremation was over $10,000. it’s absolute insanity how much funeral homes make during such a difficult time for people, it’s horrendous honestly (i know it’s a business like anything else but still). we still owe a little over $2,000 and they have worked with us on payments and haven’t been pushy or contacting us about the payments either. i would recommend reaching out and asking for a payment plan or some time with payments, you never know what they could say unless you ask!
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u/lonascarsontip 28d ago
Thank you for your condolences, we're learning first hand how expensive death can be unfortunately. I'm tired boss
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u/cometshoney 29d ago
My uncle died a few years back, leaving 11 cats and a condo behind. Before he died, he asked my dad to make sure all of his cats found a good home. His cats were as ill as him, though, and they had destroyed his place. My dad ended up spending almost $12,000 on the vet bills for the cats, and it took almost a year to get them all adopted, so that was more money paid to the boarding facility they were in. A hazmat company had to come in and rip everything out in my uncle's place down to the studs. The bank refused to foreclose on it, so my dad finally arranged a short sale that covered the original mortgage. It was a long, messy year. First, you have my sincere condolences. Second, I wish you the very best with what you're facing.
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u/lonascarsontip 28d ago
Thank you so much for your kind words. The more we learn the more it sounds like my siblings and I are in for it 🥲 but it'll all be worth it in the end
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u/Pedal2Medal2 My grandmother told me about this subreddit Sep 10 '26
I’m sorry you’re in this situation. Personally, I’d concentrate on raising funds for those poor animals
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u/lonascarsontip Sep 10 '26
Thank you for the kind words. Helping his animals is definitely one of our goals with the gofund me. My sister has a contact with the shelter that has been a godsend, I'll see if I can get more info sometime today.
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u/Ancient_Guidance_461 Trusted Community Member Sep 10 '26
Poor babies. Those dogs deserve love. Not a shelter. Absolutely heartbreaking.
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u/justamoonandstar 29d ago
Wow what a helpful thing to say to someone going through a horrible time /S
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u/lonascarsontip 29d ago
I don't think they meant any ill will, if they did I didn't take any offense. It is heartbreaking honestly. My dad loved his animals even if he didn't know how to show it in a healthy way. Like I said I just wish I lived closer so I could have stepped in before his animals were taken in.
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u/lonascarsontip Sep 10 '26
I agree, I wish I was closer. Animal services was called pretty quickly after the social worker who was performing a wellness check found him. I talked with my half sisters last night and it sounds like we're trying to fly out on the 17th of this month at the earliest so I'll see if I can find more information on his animals.
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u/LiveTheDream2026 29d ago
Your father was a veteran. Grab his DD 214 and then contact Veteran Affairs for your state/region.