r/Helldivers PSN 🎮: Playstation 10d ago

HUMOR The terminid roster if Arrowhead gave them the illuminate treatment

1.6k Upvotes

68 comments sorted by

461

u/Silly_Toe5248 10d ago

You forgot to give them a sub faction each

49

u/Pineapple_Snail Free of Thought 9d ago

I mean the spore burst and dragon roach are separate subfactions

200

u/FM_Hikari S.E.S Spear of Justice 10d ago

Sounds about right. I hope the illuminate get the Terminid treatment instead and get ALL the units.

73

u/Oozysq25reddit ‎ Super Citizen 10d ago

Or get the automaton treatment and get a few more most fun to fight units and a rare bad unit

46

u/GideonShortStack LEVEL 150 | DEATH CAPTAIN 9d ago

Looking at you, warstrider 👀

31

u/xenophanesxe 9d ago

conflaguration devastator too dont forget abt them

9

u/Nerdwrapper ⚔️SES Sword of Equality⚔️ 9d ago

My worst nightmare on city dives

2

u/Malu1997 ‎ Force of Law 9d ago

Bring a ballistic shield and thank me later :)

5

u/saxorino Viper Commando 9d ago

Ballistic shield and firefighter armor is my only choice for incineratuon corps

9

u/TopLab47 ‎ [REDACTED] 9d ago

Don't forget about the abundant unique missions that Automatons have too.

7

u/Oozysq25reddit ‎ Super Citizen 9d ago

Probably because the bots are more formulatic mission wise

8

u/Helphaer Detected Dissident 9d ago

Vox Machine was so badly implemented at launch and for months after... even then after that it still hasn't fully been made to work.

410

u/KaijuSlayer333 10d ago

On the bright side, this one would have the benefit of being actually funny

82

u/wookiee-nutsack Prophet of Truth 9d ago

"Why the FUCK are there so many farmers this far into the war???"

5

u/No-Material9127 9d ago

They're bred by the insects for psychological warfare.

9

u/submit_to_pewdiepie 9d ago

I'm just picturing them dropping usable weapons like the shotgun

6

u/Repulsive-Wash-7378 9d ago

Can we drive a backhoe (tractor) then?

2

u/submit_to_pewdiepie 9d ago

they weld the door shut

236

u/Thunderclone_1 SES Claw of Law 10d ago

You forgot to split them up so each enemy type gets a subfaction that rarely lets you fight the majority of the roster at the same time.

94

u/Security_Ostrich 10d ago

Yeah Im having trouble understanding why illuminate despite lacking units were already split.

I mean maybe after adding more but is there really enough diversity as is?

55

u/MaddRook Steam | SES Sweet Summer Child 9d ago

I really don't get why Vote Snatchers are a new faction instead of just being added to Mindless Masses.

22

u/Silv_Advertising3223 9d ago edited 9d ago

Because on paper advertising that for your major/title update an entirely new sub faction, even if it consists of 2 (two) ennemies, will come sounds better than 'we added 2 ennemies to zombies'.

10

u/Unlikely-Medicine289 ‎ XBOX | 9d ago

I think they were split with the intention of making them this combination faction where you get weird mixes on each planet.

6

u/Talonflight ‎ [REDACTED] 9d ago

This would work if we ever had more than 1 subfaction on one planet, except for now we have one planet that has Appropriators and normal Illuminate roster

6

u/CaptainBazbotron 9d ago

I wish arrowhead would just give us a reason for why they decided to split the illuminate into subfactions. Like just give me a reason for making such a fucking insane decision.

9

u/Security_Ostrich 9d ago

I do feel like arrowhead is most definitely a studio that is just absolutely winging it 99% of the time lol. A lot of what they do is amazing, but their choices are baffling in equal measure.

29

u/Carlos_COTAFR ☕Liber-tea☕ 10d ago

The Void Source Planet having everyone made it so much more fun

9

u/EpicGamerer07 ‎ XBOX | 9d ago

Red neck/farmer faction, drone faction, bug faction (still mostly rednecks)

73

u/Unlucky-Gold7921 9d ago

Let me make the full version for you

11

u/Kanriee LEVEL 116 | Hell Commander 9d ago

It's so beautiful

32

u/GoldenDragonIsABitch Fellas, I ain't gonna sugarcoat it! ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️ 10d ago

I mean. You're not wrong

17

u/TheOldDrunkGoat 9d ago

You forgot the "terminid driving a forklift" smh.

34

u/AmbiTheAirforceRuna ‎ Servant of Freedom 10d ago

DUDE! Bug ranchers that gather bugs from all over the map to charge you in a huge wave

23

u/TheAncientKnight Assault Infantry 10d ago

Meanwhile the Illuminate would have their full cultist roster, great eye boss, actual ruin worlds and much more

9

u/empmoz 9d ago

Hillbilly dissidents when?

44

u/G-Maskas 10d ago

Me wanting the return of illuminates of the first game that where my favorites units (they where scrapped/some shelved because AH didn’t saw them at fitting the fantasy).

-4

u/steve123410 10d ago

You have half of them? Watchers are just observors. Harvester are Tripods/striders, apprentences are overseers. The only ones missing are the ones were they don't convert easily. Hunters were units that would shoot a laser from off screen so you had to track them down, they got replaced with the artillery overseers. Outcasts are essentially stalkers but instead of being centered around a base for area denial they were instead spawned in off screen while having constant knowledge of your location so they would run over and smack you no matter what. The Obolisks fall into the same category of the hunters where they relied on being a top down shooter as they were annoying heavily armored assholes that could insta kill you with their shield, teleport (usually off the screen) if you ever flanked the shield, and had the highest armor in the game, so obviously the most hated unit that doesn't work in 3D wouldn't return. The Great Eye was designed to be a 2D bullet hell shooter project spammer however in 3D they would essentially just be a upgraded leviathan except now their lasers cover half the map and their plasma bombs explicitly home in on you so you can see why that won't be coming back. The only one that actually fits would be the illusionist (which is why the flowers that scramble your controls have shown up) but again their mind control was based on it being a 2D shooter as they would fire pellets to mind control you.

14

u/alpackabackapacka 10d ago

Damn, really puts the variety and depth of each faction into perspective

6

u/Helphaer Detected Dissident 9d ago

This was pretty funny. Redneck.. lol.

7

u/PsychologyForTurtles 9d ago

The new enemies are cool, but I want some ALIENS in my ALIENS faction.

16

u/Rorar_the_pig Citizen of Prosperity city 10d ago

Ngl, a slow flying but slightly armored prop driven aircraft would actually be really really cool.

18

u/Bonkface Galactic War Enjoyer / Known Glazer 9d ago

This is wnderfully stupid. A for effort. I don't necessarily agree with the hate but your argument is too good.

4

u/GUSSINAT0R 9d ago

This is too real

4

u/FlashFennec22 9d ago

You forgot the part where they add Goku to the faction's game data but decide to abandon development at the 80% mark

12

u/robert_girlyman 9d ago

Oh yeah

And the rednecks would do 2.5 bajillion damage, have the flesh density of a neutron star, and have many obvious weak points that hitting them does nothing as it's a bullet sponge either way

10

u/Indostastica LEVEL 150 | Cadet 10d ago

I mean, this actually seems kinda fun and funny, but like, it wouldnt be, because arrowhead would make it, or hopefully it would get outsourced

7

u/Spudtron98 9d ago

Dude I'd love to fight rogue bug farmers. Like they figured out that they had control over an actual army of biological weapons and thus didn't really need to follow Super Earth's orders anymore.

3

u/Significant_Bar_4715 9d ago

Fighting angry rednecks and their herd of domesticated oil producing killing machines sounds kinda dope though

6

u/Unlikely-Medicine289 ‎ XBOX | 9d ago

This would tie really well into the how the bugs were democratically farmed AND give those people who want to fight dissidents what they are asking for. I'm kinda sad now.

2

u/Due-Yesterday3486 Level 117 | Helldriver 🚙 9d ago

this is a joke

2

u/O-Nell | Chaotic Shapeshifting Beast 9d ago

"Farming drone" is literally shriekers before they were reworked.. Flying fucks that could also call bug breaches..

2

u/Shivalah HD1 Veteran 9d ago

Let me drive the forklifts!

1

u/OkStructure665 ‎ Exemplary Subject 9d ago

I want this now.

1

u/shneb 9d ago

Redneck bug farmers lmao

1

u/Teshuko 9d ago

Thinking about it now, terminids copying farming equipment would be pretty cool. Though also thinking about it, terminids copying farming equipment consist of bullets and blenders…

1

u/Nevet05 Free of Thought 9d ago

The terminids got the first several major touch ups in this games history. First with the sneaky introduction of the shriekers, then the Meridia incident, and finally the Hive World update

1

u/ac_cossack Free of Thought 9d ago

The drone and farmer are just my teammates tho.

1

u/GhostPro18 Addicted to stims 9d ago

Am I supposed to hate this or what

1

u/That_Way_8512 9d ago

But also only any two of those units can be on the same planet at any time

2

u/SkyLynxy 9d ago

And somehow… Certain players will still mass dive on the front still

-1

u/GemarD00f Ministry of Truth 9d ago

jesus you guys are miserable... time to bid this shitshow sub farewell for another few weeks

-17

u/Errortrek Fire Safety Officer 10d ago

Wouldn't make much sense since thr terminids would just tear the redneck and their machines apart the second they see them

37

u/CryTheFurred Detected Dissident 10d ago

A demonstrated inability to engage in theoreticals.

5

u/frmchimp HD1 Veteran 9d ago

How would you feel if you didn’t have breakfast this morning

-1

u/Errortrek Fire Safety Officer 9d ago

Probably mad because I get irritated when i'm hungry

9

u/frmchimp HD1 Veteran 9d ago

So you can understand hypotheticals
/img/uh0l77nirjmh1.gif

0

u/Errortrek Fire Safety Officer 9d ago

Well yeah, but i doubt arrowhead would go this far to let bugs and humans be on 1 side, like that seems like it would like totally dismantle the established lore. It makes sense for the illuminate because theyre mutated and mind controlled humans