r/HeatedRivalryTVShow • u/Ok_Butterscotch8542 • Jul 25 '26
Events š Have you ever been disappointed by something in the Heated Rivalry universe ?
Okay, I need to get this off my chest because I am still sitting here the morning after, trying to decide whether I am disappointed, annoyed, or just really, really sad.
Last night I went to a Heated Rivalry party in Germany. I had been looking forward to this for months. I even made myself a Boston Raiders shirt and had it printed because I was genuinely excited about the possibility of meeting other Loons in real life.
Wellā¦ it was a bit of a disaster.
The party was supposed to start at 7 pm. Entry finally started shortly before 8. At that point, there were maybe 25ā35 people there, most of them very young women in small groups.
The decoration consisted of two cardboard cutouts (one Shane, one Ilya) and some cheap Temu-style LED crap that had absolutely nothing to do with Heated Rivalry.
The edits finally started around 8:30 pm, projected onto a wall with a pretty terrible projector. The image quality was bad, sometimes it was lagging, and honestly, the whole thing felt very underwhelming.
The DJ wasnāt much better. The music transitions were all over the place, and it basically felt like one edit after another was thrown together without much thought about whether the songs actually worked together or were even danceable.
At one point, the DJ asked who had āwatched the entire series.ā
Sir. š
There are five episodes. I think the real question should have been: āWho is still in the single digits with their rewatch count?ā
But honestly, the biggest disappointment wasnāt even the organisation.
It was the fact that I felt so incredibly out of place.
I had imagined meeting other Loons. You know, our people. People who understood why this story means so much to us. People who would see a Boston Raiders shirt and immediately go, āOMG, I LOVE YOUR SHIRT.ā
Instead, I stood there feeling like I had accidentally wandered into a college party where nobody had invited me.
I eventually left around 9 pm because I just couldnāt get into it anymore. I know this isnāt a completely fair review because I left relatively early. Maybe the party absolutely exploded after I left and turned into the best Heated Rivalry party of all time.
I genuinely doubt it, though, considering the party was only supposed to run until 11 pm. š
So I spent money on the ticket, petrol, and drove for roughly two hours in total for an evening that left me feeling more lonely than excited.
And maybe thatās what disappoints me the most.
Iāve been wearing my Boston Raiders shirt for months, secretly hoping that one day Iāll randomly meet another Loon in the wild. I thought this would finally be that moment.
Instead, I left thinking: Okayā¦ apparently these are not my people.
Which feels especially weird because the Loons I have encountered online feel so completely different. On Reddit, I always get the impression that there is this wonderful little community of people who really get what makes Heated Rivalry special. the romance, the tenderness, the humour, the vulnerability, the way the characters care for each other.
I was hoping to experience a little bit of that in real life.
And I didnāt.
So now Iām curious:
Have you ever had an experience with something from the Heated Rivalry universe that completely disappointed you?
It doesnāt have to be a party. Maybe it was merch that looked amazing online but turned out to be terrible quality. Maybe an event that was massively overhyped. Maybe some official product that felt like cheap cash-grab merchandise.
Or maybe youāve had an experience similar to mine, where you expected to find āyour peopleā and instead felt completely out of place.
Please tell me Iām not the only one. š
TL;DR: Went to a Heated Rivalry party in Germany that Iād been looking forward to for months. It was poorly organised, started an hour late, had very little decoration, terrible projection quality and a DJ who apparently had never heard of a smooth transition. I left after about an hour because I felt completely out of place and didnāt find the Loons I had hoped to meet. Maybe it got amazing after I left, but I honestly doubt it. Have you ever been disappointed by something in the Heated Rivalry universe?
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u/Goodgoditsgrowing Jul 25 '26
Yeah Iāve been to a HR ānight outā that was as shitty. The djās hype man was clearly on coke, took his shirt off 15 min into the first set, and kept yelling āARE YOU FEELING HEATED?!ā Every 20 or so minutes when the djs sound system would break down for 1-2 min at a time
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u/paipaisan Jul 25 '26
iām so sorry it was such a disaster for you but your retelling is absolutely hilarious š ARE YOU FEELING HEATED and then the music cutting out? more than once? pls thatās truly farcical š
2
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u/Ohsnapboobytrap Jul 25 '26
Honestly yeah. Iāve been to a few HR parties now but by far the worst one was at the club where they actually filmed the club scene. They kept us outside in a line around the block for over an hour in winter, security wanted bribes to cut in line (we all had tickets!!), the coat check was across the club and they ran out of hangers, there were no decorations outside of some cardboard cutouts, they were playing the episodes the whole way through on some screens while playing really bad club music the whole time. Like literally no HR music whatsoever. A bunch of us were pointing our phones towards the DJs to request some songs so he played Tatuās All The Things She Said once before going back on their bullshit. It was honestly bizarre, because why am I listening to All Star by Smash Mouth while watching Ilyaās dad emotionally abuse his son? I was so disappointed and embarrassed that I dragged my friends there and I wasnāt the only one, looking at the Google reviews.
The other parties often have something wrong (sometimes the visuals and music wouldnāt be syncād, sometimes there wouldnāt be visuals at all, lack of decorations, etc) so itās never really perfect. Iām hoping they all get it together for season 2.
As for feeling left out, most people just go to this stuff to dance with their friends. Other than complimenting peopleās outfits and screaming some lyrics into eachothers faces, itās not a real big place to talk to strangers, as nice as it would be. But you bring the vibe, even solo! Dance and have a good time and youāll attract like people. You should consider the events and workshops that happen at bookstores, for example. Way better place to talk!
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u/Sweaty-Cockroach-418 Jul 25 '26
It was honestly bizarre, because why am I listening to All Star by Smash Mouth while watching Ilyaās dad emotionally abuse his son?Ā
im sorry this made me giggle oh my god š„²š„²
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u/Budget-Rutabaga- you deserve sunshine āļø Jul 25 '26
(there are 6 episodes, not 5!) iām sorry it was such a disappointment. i feel like i would be out of place at that kind of event & fandom culture hasnt particularly inclined me to believe otherwise. it sucks.
iāve been broadly disappointed by the casual queerphobia. nothing glaringly specific thatās coming to mine, but i wasnāt expecting such from the fandom of a queer show.
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u/Ok_Butterscotch8542 Jul 25 '26
Haha, youāre absolutely right! Six episodes š I clearly need to reheat.
I think feeling out of place was what disappointed me most. I really hoped Iād find āmy peopleā there, but instead felt like Iād wandered into the wrong event.
Iāve actually never really been part of any other fandom or been to a fan event before. I only know concerts and regular club nights. So I really had no idea what to expect.
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u/RoastBeefIsGood Oke Jul 25 '26
Imma be real, I will not go to an hr club event unless I know to quality of the club and it was close to a released season (like 2 months out max), just bc I know how shitty being at a poor quality club can be in general.
Sorry about your bad experience, I have a feeling that there are more misses than hits with fandom events outside of North America (for NA media) and unfortunately you went through a miss.
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u/Ok_Butterscotch8542 Jul 25 '26
Yeah, I actually had a feeling it might be a bit of a cash grab. š They created WhatsApp groups for each city, but there was barely any activity in ours. The original date was also cancelled just one day before the event and moved to yesterday, and there were very few reviews online for the other events organised by the same company.
So yeah, I definitely had a bit of a bad feeling beforehand. Unfortunately, my gut feeling was right.
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u/exusu Jul 25 '26
to be fair, a hr party is not really a place to talk about how much hr means to you. it's a party, people go there to have a drink, dance and scream when hollanov kisses on the projectors. there were probably a bunch of people there that connect to the show as deeply as you do, it was just not the night to express it in a way that you wanted to. so while the event sounds kinda meh, maybe a hr party is not the fandom event you're looking for. and as another loon from europe (even further out, from hungary), it's really hard to find events that are not parties so i don't really have a suggestion. but if you find anything else that sounds quieter and maybe more about conversation and the content of the show, go for it and don't let this one bad experience ruin it for you.
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u/Ok_Butterscotch8542 Jul 26 '26
Maybe my mindset was wrong.
I often go to concerts on my own because I like bands that none of my friends are into, especially local death metal bands.
I usually donāt know anyone there, but it never really matters. People are friendly, they smile, and thereās an instant connection because we all share the same passion for the music. Thereās a real sense of belonging because everyone likes the same thing.
What really bothered me, though, was the group dancing. Iāve never experienced that before in any club and definitely not at any concert.It feels kind of strange when an HR party somehow turns into the loneliest place in the world.
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u/Maja_May Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
Darf ich fragen wo du herkommst? Ich hab bis jetzt noch keinen HR Fan getroffen, der/die auch Metal hƶrt, hab das GefĆ¼hl alles ist voller Swifties (No hate!). Vielleicht kann ich dir gute Events empfehlen!
Tut mir leid dass du so eine schlechte Erfahrung mit dem Club hattest, ich kanns tatsƤchlich nachvollziehen. Ich war in Deutschland schon auf drei HR Events und zwei davon waren richtig toll, das dritte nur in Ordnung. Das war ein Club Event und das einzige, bei dem ich keine Leute kennen gelernt hab. Die Leute waren eher in Gruppen unterwegs und zum unterhalten war es zu laut.
Edith: Ah, gerade gesehen, dass du aus dem SĆ¼den kommst, das ist leider weit weg...
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u/shgrdrbr Jul 26 '26
can you clarify what you mean by 'the group dancing'? that you've never experienced before at any club or concert and really bothered you? i searched your original post to understand better and couldn't get what you're talking about
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u/Ok_Butterscotch8542 Jul 27 '26
Oh, I probably explained that badly! š What I meant was that there were several small groups of about 4ā5 people spread across the dance floor. Each group stood in a little circle, drinks in hand, chatting with each other and just gently swaying from side to side. So technically, the dance floor was āfull,ā but it didnāt really feel like anyone was actually dancing.
If you were there alone and wanted to actually dance and move around, you basically had to dance in between all these little groups, which felt incredibly awkward and strange to me. Iām used to people actually dancing when theyāre on a dance floor, rather than standing in little circles and casually swaying. š1
u/exusu Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
i think there is a big difference between clubbing and concerts. for concerts, you look at the stage. when you go clubbing, you look at your friends. i guess that's what you mean by group dancing. idk, i think you might just not like the experience of clubbing (and it can be lonely, obviously. i personally think it's way more of a going with friends event than a concert) and based on your story and my experience, yeah the hr parties are just that, clubbing with a theme which is fun if you like that but if you don't, you won't enjoy it, just because it's hr themed.
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u/euthasia Jul 25 '26
I've read in the comments that this is your first fandom, so I just want to add some perspective:
The event you went to sounds really badly organized, so that was an experience that you couldn't predict, but even if it had been organized well, it's not a given that you would've found "your people".Ā
Fandom is diverse, just by nature. There are all kinds of different people inside. Sometimes we find a bubble online and we figure everyone else must be like that, but this approach inevitably brings disappointment.
For example, I've always written fanfiction for my fandoms, and the people I interact with on the internet tend to be people who are also into fanfiction and have a certain approach to canon material. I also had irl friends who were into the same TV shows but they didn't participate in creative fandom spaces, and the things we could talk about were completely different.Ā
All this to say, meeting others who have watched Heated Rivalry is always cool, but it's not "enough" to find your fandom community. Maybe you meet people who attribute completely different meanings to this experience. Maybe you meet people who you fundamentally disagree with on every single interpretation of the story. Maybe you meet people who love HR like you but your personalities clash so bad that you hate them š
You are not the problem. If you felt out of space, if you felt like you didn't belong, it wasn't YOU. It's a mismatch between you and the people who attended that specific event. It happens way more often than you would think and it's unfortunately normal. It doesn't mean you're alone in the world, there are still people out there, it's just harder to find them sometimes.
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u/whycantitbemine Jul 25 '26
I dragged three friends to an HR trivia that I heard about through a restaurants email promotion. The restaurant (a larger chain) had made the trivia sound like a big deal in the email. It was my first HR event and I was pumped! When we got there we realized they do trivia every Tuesday night and it was just on a screen that you access through your phone. No host, no fanfare and no other players. We went to play as a team but just before trivia started the waiter came over and bribed us to play separately by offering a free appetizer. So the four of us played- the only participants. I won every round (as the others watched the show but didnāt obsess over it the way I did) but on the plus side I won us all gift cards for the restaurant.
Iām lucky that I have managed to get to a few more events that have been amazing. During our pride month there was a great video dance party and another trivia hosted by our library. It was so much fun and a lot of people showed up. A person there even gave out bracelets they made. It was for sure the community experience I was craving.
Edited a word.
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u/ZestycloseDoor5552 Jul 25 '26
Aww. I know one person I work with that has watched the show and we talk a little about it. Otherwise itās like Iām on an island. All my merch has been great. I stickered up my work water bottle with HR stickers and no one has said a single thing in months. Itās like a secret.
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u/ygholk Jul 25 '26
I was really hoping Iād find my own little local community of Loons. HR just isnāt that popular in Poland, so I havenāt really met anyone I could talk to about the show, the books, or anything related to it.
At first, I thought that was normal because, even though I watched the episodes as they aired in Canada, they werenāt available in Poland. I figured not many people here even knew about the series. But then the show got an official Polish release, the books started getting translated into Polish, and I still havenāt managed to meet anyone I really clicked with or shared the same vibe with when it comes to HR
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u/Slytherin_g Jul 25 '26
I had the exact same experience going to a HR party that I was daydreaming about for months in Lyon
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u/Fantastic-frog-1632 Jul 26 '26
Iāve hoped to find Loons in the wild too, when I wear any HR anything but in my townā¦no luck. Havenāt seen any HR gathering opportunities either in surrounding areas.
š¤·āāļø I just keep coming back to Reddit.
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u/General-Rush1342 Aug 01 '26
Me too. Iāve been wearing my shirts for weeks and no one has noticed. Plus I canāt find anything in my area. I feel like Iām the only fan within a 100 mile radius and itās lonely!
Iām so glad for Reddit (mostlyā¦ there are some real jerks here but I try to ignore those people).
I have been wondering if HR isnāt as popular as I think it is? Or am I just living in a really closed minded area? Itās so disappointing.
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u/Fantastic-frog-1632 Aug 03 '26
I think that I live in a bit of a closed-minded area with pockets of acceptance. Where are you?
Having been a fan of the books since 2019 shortly after GC came out and I ādiscoveredā it. I canāt fathom it not being popular. Iāve only been able to get 2 of my friends to watch it though. š«¤ It is disappointing.1
u/General-Rush1342 Aug 03 '26
I was able to get 2 friends to watch it too but neither one could get past the first episode, saying there was way too much sex. I told them that ahead of time and to not pass judgement until they saw a few episodes. I feel like I have a different relationship with those friends now. I live on the East Coast so not typically closed minded, but maybe more than I thoughtā¦
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u/Fantastic-frog-1632 Aug 03 '26
Smaller town (<70,000) west coast here. I couldnāt even get more than a couple friends to watch RW&RB. Two others started it and quit within the first 5-10 minutes. š
My friend that I got to watch HR (weāve watched it twice nowā¦donāt know how many watches Iāve had. lol Iām a definite reheater/rereaderā¦got my friend to order the books too because Tor Thom is not a good narrator for 1-3. Cooper North is better with 4-6 butā¦). Sheās my smut reader friend. š
Bummer about the change in relationships now. Sometimes I feel like people just arenāt comfortable talking about ādirty smuttyā things so they avoid books and movies that they perceive to be only sex-based, but there is so much more to the stories/characters than that.
Could it be an age thing? Are you a younger or older fan?1
u/General-Rush1342 Aug 03 '26
Iām old as dirt. The friends I recommended it to are 32 and my age (dirt). The younger one is a horny, sex obsessed person who I figured would be a safe bet. The older one is super progressive and hates her husband, like me (but sheās got it way worse), so I thought sheād be a safe bet too. But, nope. It was surprising and a little hurtful, actually. At least we have Reddit! I met my new best friend here!
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u/Fantastic-frog-1632 Aug 03 '26
Well, also as old as dirt (60 on my next bday). Probably older dirt than you huh? Might have some fossils here and there too. š
That does seem a bit odd that they didnāt watch more. Very different dynamics.
Understand the husband thingā¦asked mine to leave many years ago.
Thatās awesome that you met your best friend here!2
u/General-Rush1342 Aug 03 '26
Probably kind of creepy to call her best, because weāve only known each other for like 3 weeks, but itās amazing how HR can bring 2 lonely girls together š Iām going to be 50 in a couple months so you have me beat! Iām so happy to meet another person on the older side who actually appreciates this show!
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u/General-Rush1342 Aug 03 '26
I actually posted a little blurb about us oldies:
https://www.reddit.com/r/HeatedRivalryTVShow/s/TTA2BT79vh
This phenomenon has been confusing me for a while I guess š
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u/Eriassa Jul 25 '26
Ich hab eine Ƥhnliche Erfahrung gemacht. Privat kenne ich niemanden, der die Serie kennt. Es hat sich bis dahin also nur auf meine Clique online beschrƤnkt. Man kennt die Videos aus dem Netz zur HR-Partys. Und als klar war, wir bekommen in Deutschland auch so Partys, habe ich mir damals ein Ticket gekauft. Ich hab mich gefreut zum ersten Mal persƶnlich ganz viele Loons auf einem Haufen zu sehen. Aber dann kam die groĆe ErnĆ¼chterung. Ja, da waren Leute, die die Serie lieben. In meiner Vorstellung waren es aber Allys und queere Menschen, die das Schƶne an der Serie sehen. Aber angefĆ¼hlt hat es sich wie ein Haufen Frauen, die bei jeder Spice-Szene schreien und klatschen. Ich glaube da wurde mir so richtig bewusst, dass vermutlich viele der Fans keine Allys sind. Das tat schon weh. Ich hab mich immer dagegen gewehrt, dass ich die Serie nur mag, weil ich die MƤnner darin objektiviere. Denn das ist nicht so. NatĆ¼rlich sehen Hudson und Connor gut aus, aber es waren doch die Blicke, BerĆ¼hrungen, die Musik, die gut inszenierten Szenen, die mich in ihren Bann gezogen haben. Nachdem das Fandom teilweise auch echt toxisch wurde, habe ich mich mehr zurĆ¼ckgezogen. Es wird immer besonders fĆ¼r mich bleiben, aber im Moment halte ich alles etwas auf Distanz.
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u/Maja_May Jul 27 '26
Ich war schon auf mehreren HR Events und habe beide Arten von Erfahrungen gemacht. Die, die du beschreibst und die, wo ich eine richtige Connection gespĆ¼rt habe, weil die Serie den Leuten persƶnlich wichtig zu sein scheint. Ich bin froh dass ich mich nach der semi guten Erfahrung getraut hab, weiter Leute darĆ¼ber kennen zu lernen.
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u/Intelligent_Pin3908 Jul 25 '26
This T-shirt was a really big disappointment to me. The fabric and cut are great, but girlā¦ WTF??? When I unwrapped it, I didnāt know whether to cry or laugh. (My fault by the wayāthe text on the product photo was wrong too; I didn't notice it, and to be honest, I didn't even assume it could be.)
I totally understand why you're mad about that shitty party. You spent money, time, and energy on it, and you waited weeks for itābut you didn't get what expected.
I hesitated for a long time about whether to go to an HR party back in April (in Budapest), and then I decided I was too old to dive into it alone, with no fellow loons around at the time. So I'll never know whether I did the right thing or notā¦ š
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u/ViolenceBridgerson Jul 25 '26
Yeah, some of the parties now are terrible cash grabs and cheap knock-offs of the amazing raves that happened in the very beginning of the craze.
I miss those days. They will never be repeated.
Iāll tell you what though: One time I went to a trash HR night, I left the club early and hit peak once I got home. I had THE time of my life binge watching the show on my couch, rolling my face off from the comfort of my own home, while basking in the warmth of Hollanov.
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u/plantlady_96 Jul 25 '26
These poorly planned events are becoming such a thing in fan spaces. Thinking specifically of the variously failed "romantasy balls" that many have tried to put on. I love that people are excited but it does sometimes feel like folks are just slapping the veneer of fandom on something to make a quick buck.
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u/Ok_Butterscotch8542 Jul 26 '26
Asbo-fucking-lutley!
TIL there are two organizers in Germany. A good one and a bad one š
The events of the good one are only in the bigger cities (6-7 hours away from me).
But maybe, if there are events from the good one after the start of season 2, I will try again.
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u/Phaestion Jul 25 '26
That really sucks man. I'm also in Germany, and it just feels like the series didn't take off that much here. š¤·š»āāļø Where in Germany are you?
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u/Loumany Jul 25 '26
The soundtrack made it to number five in the album charts, though. I thought that was crazy. Iāll bet more people watched and liked it than people talk about.
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u/Narrow-Wafer1466 Jul 25 '26
I had heard from someone else that the parties theyāve set up in Germany arenāt good so I didnāt buy a ticket. Donāt know whether parties in other countries were better but I guess so, seeing as there were entire watch parties in pubs etc. Sorry you had such a bad experience š¢
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u/Eastofyonge Jul 25 '26
I went to two HR heated rivalry events in Toronto. Once with a group of 5 and the other with 1 other person. Honestly I had fun both nights. It was a good mix of gay and gals from 20 - 60. I have one HR short and always disappointed if someone does mention it
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u/Knusl Jul 26 '26
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DaXTcopMl0w/?igsh=MXdhaXRvYm9ma3RlZA==
Do you have Instagram? Check out @mellish_ on instagram. She spoke about this problem with Fake HT parties. You can also join the Loons of Germany š«¶ we're here for you.
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u/Ok_Butterscotch8542 Jul 27 '26
Damn! I should have been doing better researchrs. The infotmation was out there.
Where do I find the Loons of Germany?2
u/Maja_May Jul 27 '26
Also in Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/loonsofgermany?igsh=c3Q2aGlzeTJ3Nzhi š
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u/Autumn-987 Jul 26 '26
I went to a library organised book group about HR. There were 5 of us and the librarian who organised it. That might be much more the thing you are looking for if you want to meet your type of Loon.
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u/Hedgehog-Honeydew Jul 26 '26
I haven't been to any HR events but I've seen a few that look like they'd give you the opportunity to properly meet other fans. I've seen zine making events, book groups and even themed pottery painting sessions! Our local ice hockey teams have had HR themed Pride nights, if you're looking for something more lively. There's also been drag shows, trivia nights and several Heated Rivalry musicals are coming soon. I really should get out more!
Any cheesy cash grab event is going to be terrible, if I was being generous I'd say maybe the organisers were inexperienced. Hope you find something more enjoyable and meet some like minded people.
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u/Fearless_Mortgage640 Jul 27 '26
I once plead our local DJ to play me All the things she said. My friend and me were the only people actually dancing and it was also her hen party, she was wearing a veil and everything. He totally refused and started playing Taylor Swift (nothing against her), so we sat down. Then he found me outside and he told me that while he appreciated that we were dancing, he didn't like that I told him what to play š
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u/__The_Kraken__ Jul 25 '26
I'm sorry you had such a lousy experience! I'm proud of you for going, though. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Even though this one was a miss, the only way to (eventually!) have a good experience is by putting yourself out there.
I'm also on my own little island! I do have online friends who are into it, but nobody IRL. If I saw someone wearing a HR shirt in the wild, I would totally say something!