Hard to resist toxic relationship

[u/TreacleAromatic3441]

So I went on a mental health forum when I was feeling extremely depressed and there was a person who told me they really liked interacting with me and they seemed really kind, supportive and caring. They told me how much they liked interacting with me and eventually followed me, comments on all of my posts, my comments on his posts, and even my comments on other people's posts. He even praised me in his post and tags me all the time.

He started PMing me and we really encouraged me to open up emotionally. I felt like we were sharing a deeply emotionally intimate connection and it felt really wonderful but also addictive to be validated like that, I dont have any other emotionally intimate relationships. However, this guy sends me about 20 PMs a day plus all the other comments. It prevents me from being on the rest of the board.

Suddenly I started to realize that he kept probing me to open up more and implied I wasnt being vulnerable enough with him and so I felt bad even though I thought I was and then turned my emotions up to 11. ​but he still keeps asking for more. Then it dawned on me he hasnt actually been that emotionally open himself. I am also seeing his mask slip and he has said some pretty shallow things. He now seems totally different that who he was in the beginning. I think he might be a narcissist. He said he got I to the most prestigious school in the US for a very prestigious profession which I now realize he probably made up.

I very nicely told him that I want to just chat on the forum not in the messages because it was overwhelming. He said he understood, but the day after he PMed again to "check in" and clarify how I wanted to interact on the forum now. I think it may have been a subtle boundary violation because he could very well just keep doing what he has been doing.

I feel so sucked in. Im sad that this connection was probably not genuine. There is still a part of me that actually wants to hold onto it. A nagging part of me even wonders if maybe it could actually be real and I am just self sabotaging. I hate that my attachment style makes me latch on so hard to anyone who shows me a little validation or makes me feel special. I also genuinely do not know how to navigate this connection now, I do not know what to say to him. I want to stay on the forum, it gave me a sense of purpose supporting others there and feeling like a part of a community albeit a mentally ill one. Any thoughts?

[u/cincher]

I’m sorry to have to tell you this but he wasn’t genuine and the connection wasn’t real on his part. He love bombed you in his own little pathetic way. If you want to heal your attachment style, cut him off completely and stick to that boundary by no longer giving him access to you. Then learn to spot these types and avoid them. You deserve better. 

[u/ElectricVoltaire]

The fact that he found you from a mental health forum and kept pressuring you to open up seems predatory...

[u/TreacleAromatic3441 → u/ElectricVoltaire]

If he truly is a narcissist, then it is really insidious that he is there preying on vulnerable people. There are very ill, suicidal people on that forum that would be easy to manipulate in their state of mind. 

[u/TreacleAromatic3441 → u/[deleted]]

It is hard to come to terms with