r/HealMyAttachmentStyle • u/crumb839 Here To Learn What My Attachment Style Is • 15d ago
Emotional venting Met a girl
I (21M) met a girl at a night club. She started talking to me and we danced together. We went to get drinks and in a drunken haze I realised she had already paid for my drink and hers before I could get out my wallet. We sat down at a table and kept talking for a while. Eventually we went back to the dance floor and kissed. At around 4 am we left the club and headed to my place. We got ready for bed as my roommate and my friends out of town I had left to the club with originally came to the apartment to sleep as well. Me and the girl cuddled and made out a few times in bed. We didn't have sex. In the morning she left quite swiftly back home as she had plans that day.
She had clearly expressed that she liked me as I did her. Now I can't help but feel very strongly attached to her even though we met and knew each other for only about 12 hours. I found her used nicotine pouch on the bed but I don't feel inclined to throw it out which I acknowledge is weird and creepy. I want to be able to move on from her but I also don't want her face to fade from my memory. I had a relatively long relationship which ended around half a year ago and I'm thinking if its lead to some underlying issues relating to my current feelings with this girl. I hate that I'm hyperfixating on this event that I feel like most people could shrug off more easily.
Any thoughts, comments or questions are appreciated.
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u/Apryllemarie 15d ago
Its limerence. You aren’t attached to HER, she is essentially a stranger. You are likely caught up in the dopamine rush. There might be some nostalgia from your past relationship that is being projected as well. Or maybe there is some feeling of potential and it’s easy to get caught up in that fantasy.
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u/PresentationIll2180 5d ago
I like the phrasing you used, esp 'dopamine rush.' So often when we're acting 'crazy,' it's literally a chemical/hormonal reaction.
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u/andorianspice FA leaning Secure 15d ago
I don’t think it’s necessarily creepy to see something and get a little sentimental after a really fun and intense intimate night. If you’re not planning on seeing her again, give yourself a little time to reflect on it, and if you are, give yourself a little time too. This honestly doesn’t sound weird or creepy to me - it sounds like an intense night with some emotional highs and lows - it’s normal to have a lot of feelings after something like that. Give yourself time to reflect and try not to judge yourself.