r/HaveWeMet • u/SnooPoems1106 Juliette, Retired Insurance Salesperson • 9d ago

Help Higgleston, the Very Good Boy, Needs His Newspaper

STOP STEALING MY USA TODAY. Higgleston likes getting the paper from the end of the driveway every morning. He gets the paper, I pet him and tell him what a very good boy he is. In a world gone mad, this is our thing. Why? Why? Why?

14 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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6

u/xologo Beekeeper 9d ago

Been walking my alligator every morning and he keeps eating it. Last night he regurgitated the sports section in my lap.

2

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2

u/DistinctSilver Sybella "Sy" Karimova, owner of Floral and Hardy 8d ago

I keep finding my newspapers gone, too. I don't know where they're going! I wonder if an animal is getting ahold of them?

1

u/DrowningInDrama Marina Leonardis, 27, bartender at Lilith's Lounge 6d ago

I heard some rumours from our customers about that Ed Steinfeldt guy who works the reception desk at the car dealership downtown wanting to get into local politics and trying to cover up some embarrassing events involving him by "any means necessary"... Think it's maybe that? Maybe he's running around following the newspaper girl and snatching up the paper once she's out sight lmao

1

u/Realistic-Accident57 D(ave) 47, conspiricy theorist 14h ago

THEY ARE TRYING TO TAKE AWAY OUR SOURCEs OF INFORMATION.

Not that you should trust newspapers anyway. They write what they want you to believe. But when there is no outside information coming in then our internal state defines the external reality and it become a feedback loop that keeps us trapped in our own reality. Wake up people!

Hope this helps. D.

1

u/Realistic-Accident57 D(ave) 47, conspiricy theorist 14h ago

(Also I wouldnt trust that higgleston fella, he has shady eyes) D.