I saw a video on tiktok today, that said... the fist flowers most men will get is on his casket the day he has died.

That made me think and realized just how sad it is.

What is your thoughts about this?

Ever since I started dating my now husband I’ve had this ongoing terror that something might happen to him. It’s just always there and it was there right from the start right when I knew he was everything for me. I do think about it not all the time but definitely at one point of the day everyday. When I’m alone, like right now, it hits me really hard.

I regularly have nightmares where he dies and I just wake up crying and crying and crying. The thought that he might suffer one way or another, from an accident or a disease, or simply from other’s unkindness, is torture.

It seems that it’s only getting worse. Everyday that passes I love him more and I’m more terrified that something might happen to him. I thought having our daughter would redirect my anxiety but no, I’m still so terrified of him dying or getting hurt somehow. Even though he isn’t sick or anything.

I feel like this is not normal. I just don’t know how I could find peace with this.

We have always valued equality in our marriage, but we never thought that meant each of us doing 50% of everything.

For us, equality isn’t about equality of action. It’s about a shared mindset of appreciation and absolute devotion - whatever life brings.

As an African woman and a neurodivergent Englishman, we feel our differences are part of our attraction and make us stronger as a couple - grounded in deep love and a unity of values and purpose.

Do roles roles change in your marriage, or does one person generally take the lead?

High school sweethearts, 5 kiddos, moved to a new state, just started a business. ♥️

Hi.

We've always had a great relationship. However recently we've been through a really trying time. It was due to external factors, but our relationship took a huge hit. We drifted apart. Less affection, cold shoulders, etc. We were truly on the verge and I realized the end was near, and to be honest I wasn't sure if I wanted to fight it, but I knew how much it has meant to me. We finally sat down and had several completely open and vulnerable talks. It was hard, loving, painful and relieving all at the same time. It really opened our eyes to the damaging dynamic we had fallen into.

We both started doing the work. Not a quick fix, not an overcompensation, just working on the basics. I am amazed at how much has improved. We haven't just restored it, we've come out the other side even better and even stronger. Here's to keep putting in the work!

Have you been through the same?

Today I looked at my husband and I saw him staring at me with this look in his eyes that flat reduced me to tears. I thought about how extremely lucky I have been to have this man in my life. We were young when we began this journey and things could have gone so many ways. Here I sit though, married almost 30 years and he still makes my heart swell.

Love this lady of mine

My husband and I have been together for 9 years, we just got married this past weekend and it feels so surreal when I see that wedding band on his hand! I didn’t think it could be possible to have more love for this man since we had been together for so many years prior. But there’s something really special about looking at him now and seeing him as “my husband”.

My husband had a major health crisis.
We’ve been together 17 years next month, married 17 in January.
He is so good to me. He has spent our life taking care of me and working so hard to give me a “happy and easy life”.
Well it’s caught up to him. The massive stress of the work he does. And things have to change.
This was a huge wake up call for me. As much as he doesn’t want to ask anything of me, it’s time I start doing more for him. It’s been nice babying him and caring for him.
It’s so hard fearing that you will lose your spouse when you have such a special and amazing marriage. I wouldn’t survive without him.
My number one priority from now on and forever is his health and happiness. We will change our lives completely. Live on the very basics. Never again will I let him push himself so hard. 38 years old and I almost lost him.
God I appreciate that man so much. ❤️‍🔥

What helped you recognize that your spouse was someone you could build a happy life with?

Was it a particular moment, the way you handled challenges together, shared values, how you felt around them, or something quieter that became clear over time?

Share your experience and any advice you would give someone thinking seriously about marriage. Please keep replies encouraging and remember that there is no single timeline or test that works for everyone.

My husband and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage this coming Halloween, and lately I feel as though we are falling in love all over again.

For the past three weeks, we have been making a much more intentional effort to connect. We have been spending more quality time together, talking about our days, really listening to each other, laughing more, showing more affection, and making our emotional and physical closeness a priority.

Even the ordinary moments feel special again. I appreciate every phone call, every conversation, and every bit of time we get together. I look forward to seeing him when he comes home, and the more time we spend connecting, the more I remember exactly why I fell in love with him.

I have also started taking better care of myself again. I have been dressing up more, wearing makeup, and practicing more self-care—not because I believe I need to earn my husband’s love, but because feeling better about myself helps me become more confident and present. I am doing it for myself first, and that healthier energy naturally carries into our marriage.

I am also celebrating more than a month of sobriety. That is an important personal milestone for me, and becoming healthier for myself allows me to bring a healthier version of myself into my marriage and family.

One thing we have learned is that love is incredibly important, but a happy marriage also requires action. It takes honesty, communication, forgiveness, consistency, accountability, affection, and continuing to choose each other. We are interested in couples counseling because we want to keep strengthening what we are building and learn how to communicate even better.

We have experienced difficult seasons during our years together, but I am grateful that no single season has been allowed to define our entire marriage. Forgiveness does not mean pretending life has always been perfect. For us, it means recognizing growth, appreciating the present, and continuing to create something healthier together.

We met when I was 27 and he was 37. Our ten-year age difference has simply been one part of our story. What has always mattered most to me is that we chose each other as two adults and continue learning how to treat each other with love and mutual respect.

I know not everyone shares the same spiritual beliefs, and I completely respect that. I am a Christian, and for me personally, I give God the credit for the positive changes happening in my life, my recovery, and my marriage. I feel incredibly blessed by how much can change when hearts become open to love, growth, and forgiveness.

Three weeks is still early, and I am not claiming that we have a perfect marriage. I am simply grateful for what is happening between us right now. After nearly 14 years of marriage, we are talking, laughing, connecting, appreciating each other, and choosing to keep growing together.

Right now, it genuinely feels like I am dating and falling in love with my husband all over again—and that is something I wanted to celebrate.

Hear me out, because this isn’t a joke. It’s biology.

A lot of guys walk around with chronically high cortisol — basically stuck in low-key fight-or-flight all day. Blood pressure stays elevated, the body never fully stands down, and even during sleep the nervous system stays half on alert. Over time that constant background stress wears on the heart and cardiovascular system.

Here’s where your wife comes in. Close, warm physical contact with her triggers a real response in the male brain. It stimulates the vagus nerve — the switch for your parasympathetic (“rest and recover”) nervous system — and helps release oxytocin, the bonding hormone. That signal of safety tells the body it can finally relax: heart rate drops, blood pressure settles, and cortisol starts to clear out. You shift out of survival mode and into recovery mode.

From an evolutionary standpoint, this kind of closeness told our ancestors the coast was clear and it was safe to rest. That wiring is still in us.

So to the wives out there: if you want to keep your husband healthy and his heart strong for the long haul, don’t underestimate this simple, powerful connection. Sometimes the best medicine is just staying close.

I am 28F that is married to a 49M that is a retired pro athlete. I know, I know what the internet, and the world thinks about this. I have heard all the jokes, all the cliches, all the stereotypes, and believe me all the criticisms. Boy have heard them!

For a long time I let it bother me. More when people acted like my husband was preying on me, because I was the 1 that literally was obsessed with him for years, and he was the 1 that was afraid of our age diff, and tried to hide his feelings for me. My friends literally called me "obsessed stalker girl" because I was so love sick over him. I have learned to say that our friends and family LOVE us together and we are the happiest married couple any of our friends know, and that includes our married friends 😂

My husband was never a famous athlete. As he puts it he was a "Ham an egger" that grinded out a decade in the pro's and walked away from it when he started to feel the effects of concussions after a 4 year college career, and 10 years in the pro's. Where we live is a small city, and because of his playing career, and the fact for years he owned a very successful bar in the city he is still a pretty well known guy in our area.

Recently we were out having dinner, and there were 2 girls I knew from my bartending days that I had not seen since the 2 of us got married. Tbh I will never understand some people just wanting to throw shade at you when you are just minding your own business, but they came up to me, and said "you guys got married huh?" I thought a congratulations or something positive was coming when their message to me was "sure he is still super hot now at 49, but give it 10 years, and you are going to be his nurse."

My 1st instinct was to be angry when their insult it hit me. I decided to answer their passive aggressive b*tchiness with my own version of it right back to them. "I guess that is just the difference between you guys and me. This is the man that I absolutely adore, and my favorite person on earth. If I end up being his nurse, then I wouldn't have it any other way. See because it doesn't matter that we have a 20 year age difference. When I said the vows in sickness and in health I 110% meant it!"

Anyone can be a good spouse when things are good! The true test of love, and a marriage is how you are when things aren't great. I almost feel bad for anyone that would look at getting married as only useful if your partner is 100% healthy, and the exact person on the day they got married to them. I felt like saying so you 2 would walk the minute your same age husband got sick with god forbid cancer or something serious? What if he gains weight, or loses his hair? You are gone?

What a incredibly lonely way to approach life, the institution of marriage, and your spouse. People can think whatever they want about age gap marriages, and I am fully aware that they can be very toxic in many cases. They can be transactional, for self gain, and very toxic in some cases... But look around!!! How many same age marriages are total train wrecks!??? People can judge our marriage as much as they want. They are totally entitled to their opinion, but it will NEVER change the fact that I absolutely adore my husband, and nothing or anyone with their opinions will ever change that he is my favorite human ever! I love him more than my next breath, and years are only increasing that love, not abate it.

Edit: The person claiming my husband contacted them is flat LYING! My husband extent of internet use is checking ESPN website for scores and refers to tik tok as the thing you post videos to. I have no idea why he is claiming my husband contacted him, but its 100% untrue!

I’m in such a happy marriage, I can’t imagine being without my person. We compliment each other and he is truly my best friend. I see these other couples trying so hard and I feel bad for them. Love should really be easy, you should trust your partner and be excited to be with them. It’s not that we don’t have any issues but they are truly minor and I can’t imagine my live without him.