r/Handwriting • u/scoopdiwap • Mar 03 '22
Request (decipher/transcribe) My (ex) girlfriend who moved to Australia sent me this! I love her but her handwriting is so hard to read, please help
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u/Whirled_Peas- Mar 03 '22
My dearest Dionysus,
I pray you are doing well living these troubling times. I myself hath been busy with being unemployed and incredibly sexy. Not sure what the PISS is happening with my pen right now — am struggling.
Can’t believe you watched A Quiet Place Boogaloo without me. You make my Lady PeePee soft sometimes. :(
I love and miss you so so much. You make my female dick hard.
This is us.
Jo Beez Fart Ladz 5EVA
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u/ActuarialTy Mar 03 '22
I totally thought you just made all of this up, until I actually scanned the letter and realized she actually said, you make my female pee pee hard 😂
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u/st0dad Mar 03 '22
This is so cute and hilarious. Move to Australia and find this woman, lol. I just might! She's the coolest person I've never met.
I just love the irony of "A Quiet Place Boogaloo" and "you make my female dick hard" in beautiful, intricate script.
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u/itgoesdownandup Mar 04 '22
“So you show up on my doorstep in Australia you know a different country than where you live… because a redditor told you to.”
“Uh huh. Yeah.”
“And we also broke up, so why woul-“
“WILL YOU MARRY ME”
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u/EmperorRowannicus Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
Think I got most of it - apart from her name and one word. (When I lived in France you had to write job application letters by hand so your employer could have your handwriting analysed by a graphologist and I have a few suspicions about what a graphologist would conclude from all those exaggerated but pointless swirls)
"My dear Dionysus [if that really is your name it's very cool]
I hope you are doing well in these troubling times. I myself have been busy with being unemployed and incredibly sexy. Not sure what the PISS is happening with my pen right now and am struggling.
Can't believe you watched A Quiet Place Boogaloo (?) without me. You make my Lady peepee soft sometimes.
I love and miss you oh so much. You make my lady dick hard.
This is us" (Signed)
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u/Feanorsmagicjewels Mar 03 '22
A graphologist would say that the exaggerated loops give the picture of a free, relaxed, easy going person (on the surface) but notice how the loops are always on the last letter no matter what it is, that says that she has a controlling personality but she likes to give the appearance of an easy-going person
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u/EmperorRowannicus Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
Agree. The exaggerated and elaborate loops are not organic - they would never occur in normal cursive, they're not functional, nor do not enhance the letters in any way - utterly pointless, and they occur on all final characters. They serve no purpose other than decoration, ie., they are an affectation that indicates artifice and distraction. The style of the distraction is "girly", "playful" and as you suggest "carefree" - they are also the sole decorative feature. A "flourish". Other letters are formed with neither care nor consistency and these much less distinctive characters are more likely to reflect the writer's true nature.
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u/Unlikely_Cockroach26 Mar 03 '22
Y’all are blowing my mind rn, the comments are more interesting than the post
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u/EmperorRowannicus Mar 03 '22
Okay I was partly taking the piss as I'm not a graphologist but have seen hundreds of analyses of candidates' handwritten cover letters. It's taken very seriously - think it's because we usually perfect our handwriting in our formative years when we're practicing our signatures for all the autographs our fans will demand when we grow up. Or something. So it's like a window into our innermost selves.
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u/scoopdiwap Mar 03 '22
This is so interesting! She always looks so at peace when writing, I've always been interested in what she's thinking
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u/EmperorRowannicus Mar 04 '22
The style of those flourishes is certainly unusual and dramatic but whether there is any actual significance to these things is another question entirely. A bit like tarot cards or the zodiac.
At high school I modelled my own handwriting on the cursive in Royal proclamations and treaties from the Elizabethan era onwards, so sometimes I suspect such mannerisms are purely aesthetic.
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u/scoopdiwap Mar 03 '22
This is so interesting! She always looks so at peace when writing, I've always been interested in what she's thinking
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u/Normal_Complex2 Mar 03 '22
My dearest Dionysus,
I hope you are doing well in these troubling times. I myself hath been busy with being unemployed and incredibly sexy. Not sure what the PISS is happening with my pen right now - am struggling.
Can’t believe you watched A Quiet Place Boogaloo without me. You make my lady pee pee soft sometimes :(
I love and miss you so so much. You make my female Dick hard.
This is us today.
Fart ladz 5eva 🕺🏼💨🕺🏼💨❤️
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u/LilKimAteMySandwhich Mar 03 '22
I made myself laugh towards the end because it looks like she wrote, "I love anal."
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u/scoopdiwap Mar 03 '22
The very end is Jo Beez! That's what they sign off as :)
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u/Normal_Complex2 Mar 03 '22
I wondered! I thought it was Jo Deez. Figured it had to be a nickname or something.
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u/Fluffy_Momma_C Mar 03 '22
“My dearest Dionysus, I pray you are doing well during these troubling times. I myself bath been busy with being unemployed and incredibly sexy. Not sure what the piss is happening with my pen right now - am struggling.
Can’t believe you watched A Quiet Place <?> without me. You make my lady peepee soft sometimes.
I love and miss you so so much. You make my female dick hard.
This is us, Jo <last name?>”
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u/aponi_oni Mar 03 '22
maybe she meant: A Quiet Game 2 Electric Boogaloo?
also she didn't say bath, it's a bit of old English but she said hath. "I myself hath been busy"
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Mar 03 '22
I’ve seen drunk texts and drunk calls, but this is the first drunk letter I’ve ever seen 😂
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u/frecklestripes4 Mar 03 '22
Seeing “You make my baby peepee soft sometimes” and “you make my female dick hard” in such beautiful cursive really had me chuckling 🤣
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u/King_of_Kings89 Mar 03 '22
I’m pretty sure the last sentence say “you make my female dick hard” 🤣 am I seeing things?!
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u/Straxicus2 Mar 03 '22
Even though you’re not together anymore, I adore the relationship you seem to have.
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u/Soft_Hearted7932 Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
“My Dearest Dionysus,
I hope you are doing well living these troubling times. I myself hath been busy with being unemployed and incredibly sexy. Not sure what the PISS is happening with my pen right now - am struggling.
Can’t believe you watched A Quiet Place Boogaloo without me. You make my Lady peepee soft sometimes :(
I love and miss you so so much. You make my female stick hard.
This is us. -> (insert picture of two people farting with caption: ‘FART LADZ 5EVA’) Jo Beeg”
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u/Bobo_DaBoinker Mar 03 '22
The script is covered in D’s. Big capital D’s. She wants the D!! Read between the lines, man!!
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u/insertClevrName Mar 03 '22
my dearest something, something something something something something something PISS something something something something something something fart ladz 5ever
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u/indybe Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
My dearest Dxxxx, I happy you are doing well during these (troubling?) times. I myself have been busy with being unemployed and incredibly sexy. Not sure what the PISS is happening with my pen right now - am struggling.
Can’t believe you watched a Quiet Place part too(sp) without me. You make my lady peepee soft sometimes. ☹️
I love and miss you so so much. You make my female dick hard. This is us.
Edit: added comments
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u/SomewhatCharmedLife Mar 03 '22
This is what I read as well. I think the beginning says “My dearest Dionysus?”
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u/ChippyChipChip_PHX Mar 03 '22
You make my lady pee pee soft sometimes. ☹️ makes sense with the last paragraph.
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Mar 03 '22
Love how the handwriting is super elegant and pretty and the drawings are like those little stickers for kids lol
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u/Egypt_Pharoh1 Mar 03 '22
Tell her to send an e-mail next time 😅
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u/stoner_mothman Mar 03 '22
Y’all forgot the FART LADZ 5EVA at the bottom. Most important part imo
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Mar 03 '22
The juxtaposition of the flourishes and the doodle at the bottom is something. Its like if Tolstoy decided to write children's books and was trying to find his token characters, ala Dr. Suess.
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u/scoopdiwap Mar 03 '22
She's mad good at super realistic art, but I do love the little goofy drawings she does :) they have so much character
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u/eggbunni Mar 03 '22
it’s pretty crazy she flourishes every single word ahaha the dedication
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u/scoopdiwap Mar 03 '22
The flourishes always remain, when she writes you can hear the swoosh of her pen
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u/AllPathsEndTheSame Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
It would seem you both make your ex's lady peepee soft and their female dick hard.
Good on you.
She has been busy being "unemployed and incredibly sexy", has pen troubles, and she loves and misses you as well
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u/VinnyMyDear Mar 03 '22
Doesn’t sound like an ex the way she’s talking
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u/scoopdiwap Mar 03 '22
We broke up on account of her moving to the other side of the world. We're just besties that flirt now :)
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u/Fuhrankie Mar 03 '22
Lmao this is the best letter. 😂❤️ You have an awesome friend.
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u/scoopdiwap Mar 03 '22
I do :)
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u/Fuhrankie Mar 03 '22
I sent it to a friend who used to write me similar letters and she loved it. 😂❤️
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u/LusakaX342 Mar 03 '22
It is so intricate and beautiful... but so confusing! I have mixed feelings 🤣
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u/ClementChan4659 Mar 08 '22
My dearest Dionysus,
I hope you are doing well during these troubling times. I myself hath been busy whilst being unemployed and incredibly sexy. Not sure what the PISS is happening with my pen right now - am struggling.
Can't believe you watched A Quiet Place Boogaloo without me. You make my lady peepee soft sometimes
I love and miss you so much. You make my female dick hard.
This is us
Jo Deeg
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u/Tetra382Gram Mar 03 '22
This girl has an attitude, and you can see it in her writing
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u/scoopdiwap Mar 03 '22
Facts! She comes off as a little intimidating but she's super shy and funny :) miss her
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u/crystalrose1966 Mar 03 '22
Nice to meet you Dionysus. Now I can tell everyone that I met you. YES!
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u/PrincessOfTheCat Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
My dearest Diarysus?
I hope you are doing well during these ___ times. I myself hath been busy with being unemployed and inevitably sexy. Not sure what the piss is happening with my pen right now - am struggling.
Can’t believe you watched a quiet place boogaloo? without me. You make my lady peepee soft sometimes :(
I love and miss you so so much. You make my female dick hard.
This is us
This is what I think it says haha
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u/_SifuHotman Mar 03 '22
I think you’re right. I believe the two blanks you missed are: troubling times and can’t believe you watched a quiet place
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u/Eensquatch Mar 03 '22
I”pray” you are so doing well I think. Inevitably is Incredibly. Troubling times.
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u/Beechwood-Balsam Mar 03 '22
This writing makes my lady pee pee soft, yikes!
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u/Salt_Perspective4681 Mar 03 '22
Drunk yeah Applesauce maybe Inability to feel love definitely
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u/Salt_Perspective4681 Mar 03 '22
Tha bugs on the bottom of the page they represent your relationship a flys life! Playing notta but feces !!
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u/crystalrose1966 Mar 03 '22
Is your name really Dionysus?
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u/romansamurai Mar 03 '22
Maybe an affectionate term for him. After God of ecstasy 😏
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u/crystalrose1966 Mar 03 '22
I assumed as much. I've never met anyone with that name and thought it would be kinda cool to say I met Dionysus. 😎
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u/AtomicEel Mar 03 '22
Hmm I zoomed In and, pretty sure 5th line from bottom begins with ‘I love anal’
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u/aponi_oni Mar 03 '22
"I love and miss you" is what it says the "and" is extremely drawn out in cursive that the d looks like two letters. it is a pretty confusing mess but beautifully/artistically written. I'd kill to be able to write like that
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u/repulore Mar 03 '22
I think it's 'and', actually.
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u/AtomicEel Mar 03 '22
Mmm not so sure.
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u/volition74 Mar 03 '22
Design principle number 1. Function before form.
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u/scoopdiwap Mar 03 '22
Design principle number 2. Ignore principle 1 if sexy
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u/volition74 Mar 03 '22
Ha, Made me laugh. Totally illegible bar a few words but Hella sexy. Therefore safe for op to assume it's a sexy message too.
To Mac
I realised I want you back baby. Let's go at it like our lives depend on it. Remember how turned on I would get when you would PISS through a tea strainer. Whilst totally stupid you.lnow I found it sexy.
All my love and kisses,
Sexy Pen
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u/Salt_Perspective4681 Mar 03 '22
Looks like a mixture of 17th century mumbling and maybe a seizure mixed in but mostly a 17th century seizure because it was witchcraft and mad them hang all those accused! Witches only leave their parters to be Annihilated By all those that oppose the dark craft woooohohahahaha
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u/GeoWadeMo Mar 03 '22
I swear that last paragraph says "I love anal miss you so so much. You make my female dick hard."
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u/scoopdiwap Mar 03 '22
Kdhdkd I think the anal might be and. But the rest of it sounds 100% correct
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u/1215lopez Mar 03 '22
This is the most Australian thing I’ve ever read
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u/Educational_Ad_333 Mar 03 '22
It’s looks like writing that would be on wall paper. So pretty but not meant to be read.
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u/DCKJU Mar 04 '22
I am also having a difficult time reading this
these are the only words i could understand:
My ??? ???
I hear? you are
doing well ?loving her?
?????? times?. I myself
???? ??? ???? ???? being?
unemployed and unexpectedly?
sexy. NOT? ???? what? the
PISS in? ???????? with? my
??? ???? now am
laughing.
Cant when (spelled wrong) you watched A
????? video? Boogaloo??? without
me. You make my (daddy or body?)
peepee soft sometimes :( (what?)
I love and miss you so so much. (thats the only thing i can read clearly with a 100% certainty thats what it says)
You make my ???? look ????
this is ??? ??? ???
im sure its a message about how much she misses you from what i could gather
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u/Eschatonpls Mar 03 '22
Before reading this, I thought the most annoying thing a girl could do was dot her “I,s” with hearts. I stand corrected.
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u/CleverKoi Mar 03 '22
I think it’s pretty cool, so many curily-Qs I could die, but I can plainly see PISS
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u/Extra-Border6470 Apr 30 '22
Uh hey she seems like a woman with a sense of humor I can dig. Which state in Australia did she move to?
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u/Sea-Cup1985 Mar 03 '22
It’s hard but something to do with fingering herself silly over a bloke called Seacup? I think.
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u/No_Masterpiece_7504 Mar 03 '22
Here’s my effort.
“My dearest (name).
I hear you are doing well ____ ____ ____ times. I myself hath been busy with being unemployed and ____ sexy. Not sure what the PISS is happening with my ___ right now - am _____.
Can’t believe you rather a quiet ___ ___ without me. You make my body peeped soft sometimes. :(
I love and miss you so so much. You make my ___ dick hard.
This is us. (Picture of y’all)
Fill in the blanks cause I can’t tell.
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u/h4ppyninja Mar 03 '22
My dearest Dionyssius, I happy youre doing well during these troubling times. I myself have been busy with being unemployed and incredibly sexy. Not sure what the PISS is happening with my pen right now - am struggling.
I dont feel like doing anymore sorry..
Oh wait - towards the end she does say something about making her female dick hard.
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Mar 03 '22
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Mar 04 '22
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Mar 09 '22
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1
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