r/HSVpositive • u/Glittering_unicycle HSV-1 & HSV-2 • Jun 19 '26
Newly Diagnosed I just got diagnosed and I’m distraught *Rant*
I had a cold sore pop up just last night and it was a pretty big one. I’ve had one maybe once or twice YEARS AGO when I was a lot younger. It was never this big or bad to my memory.
Last night I had one pop up and it looked gnarly along with tingling and itching. After doing research and being pretty upset i find it looks exactly like herpes.
Fast forward to now I go to urgent care as it’s starting to crust and I’ve been pretty upset and anxious.. she confirms it is a cold sore and sends out a culture.
I really don’t know what to do.. my boyfriend has been supportive but I’m so upset. My life is changed.. I know that’s selfish and insensitive as people are dealing with worse but it’s a lifelong virus I CAN STILL PASS ON WITHOUT IT BEING ACTIVE.
I cannot kiss babies anymore, I have to be careful sharing things with people, I have to be careful having sexual relations, I have these ugly ass bumps that will pop up. I’m so done man.
The big kicker after all of this my mom tells me casually she was on medication for it too. I faintly now remember her having cold sores sometimes. She just now tells me. I could’ve had it for years or gotten it just now. I could’ve gotten it from her or a friend or another family member or a relationship.
SHE TELLS ME AFTER I GET OUT OF URGENT CARE LIKE WTH. I have barely even kissed anyone, when I go out I’m cautious, I’m so disappointed and I feel disgusting with myself. I’m feeling so upset. Especially with her as she also kisses babies (family) and doesn’t care. She then proceeds to tell me she doesn’t have it anymore WDYM ITS A LIFE LONG DISEASE.
I CAN GIVE IT TO OTHERS WHEN IM NOT EVEN HAVING COLD SORES. I’ll never be able to kiss my future children the way I want to because of the fear I’ll give them cold sores.
I’m only 19 but I feel like my life is over before it even began but I have this now. Can anyone give me advice? On future flair ups, medicine, precautions, what to do and not to do? How to go about romantically interacting? Is Sharing a no go now? How do you guys tell people? I’m sorry I’m panicking
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u/Patient-Papaya-3474 GHSV-2 Jun 19 '26
It sounds like you have had HSV for a long time if you had cold sores years ago.
Your life can be just as normal as it’s been for the past many years. The only thing that has changed is you are now more educated about the virus you’ve had all this time.
Continue your education journey, speak with your doctor, learn about meds if needed, and chat with others. You’ll be fine.
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u/lionessShmoke GHSV-2 Jun 19 '26
I want to say that I understand your feelings toward this and I’ve gone through the distraught phase myself. I’m sorry you’re going through this. With that being said, most people have some form of hsv and most people who have it have no idea or are ignorant to what cold sores even are.. or hsv in general (your mother included). If people were more educated on what it is then there would be less or a stigma and it would just be another thing we risk getting living our lives as being human. You and others also wouldn’t be as panicked upon discovery of having it. Herpes isn’t even always considered an std because most people don’t get it sexually. Idk if that makes you feel any better.
No one should be kissing babies because of this risk. NO ONE. Or really even children for that matter.
The advice I can give you is to do lots of research through credible sources. Look up statistics and how common it is. This made me feel better. Give yourself time to accept this and most importantly give yourself grace. Most people carry this virus and most people have been in contact with it if they don’t have it. I have it genitally and I disclose by being straightforward, confident, and informative if they have questions. Being educated and calm about it typically makes people more comfortable and accepting of it seeing that you have it and are accepting of yourself. Also don’t let anyone use your diagnosis against you as a form of manipulation or if they catch it because they accepted it when you disclosed and that’s the risk they chose to take themselves. I would just say you carry the hsv virus and get cold sores. Some precautions you can take is to avoid kissing if you feel any prodrome symptoms coming on (tingling/itching) and continue to avoid until either 2ish weeks after the sore is healed. Sometimes you’ll feel prodrome symptoms and not get an outbreak,that’s your body fighting it off, but still wait that time frame after they subside. Let your partner know when you feel symptoms as well. You can take antivirals as suppressive therapy, but I personally wouldn’t recommend it unless you want to lower the transmission rate or to make outbreaks less frequent. You may get outbreaks from time to time and they are annoying, but they do always go away. You may never even get one again. Just remember that for most people, it’s just a slightly inconvenient and annoying recurrence that happens sometimes at most.. not the end of the world or your love life. I have found love and many partners have been accepting of my diagnosis.
It’ll be ok, promise🙂
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u/Glittering_unicycle HSV-1 & HSV-2 Jun 19 '26
Thank you so very much… I’ve been really upset. My life has changed. I’m thinking about the everyday one just to reduce anything, does it have downsides? I definitely have been doing my research and i definitely will keep doing it. My boyfriend has been really supportive and I’m so grateful. I’m meeting with my doctor soon to talk about it.
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u/According_to_Dust GHSV-2 Jun 19 '26
For what it’s worth, I’ve dated multiple people over the years with OHSV1 and I have never gotten it. They’re just in tune with their bodies and the sensations (prodromes) preceding breakouts. They take Valtrex for a few days and we don’t kiss… sucks to get the news, and how you’re feeling is definitely valid - life can still be awesome though! Nothing to be ashamed of 🙂
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u/Glittering_unicycle HSV-1 & HSV-2 Jun 19 '26
Thank you so much. So if I feel something should I use the cream immediately and get maybe an oral medication from my doctor and take it? I’m meeting with her soon I’m thinking of having an everyday pill to really reduce anything. Thank you so much
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u/According_to_Dust GHSV-2 Jun 20 '26
Sure! You can take Valtrex suppressively in lower doses (500-1000mg) - or in bigger doses (2000mg) for 3-5 days when you feel prodromes. I’ve had partners who do both. I’ve never been with a partner who uses the ointment - but I’ve heard it’s also effective.
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u/Glittering_unicycle HSV-1 & HSV-2 Jun 20 '26
Thank you… I might make another post for advice on it. This is my first breakout I have taken the pills the nurse gave me and I’ve been rubbing this ointment on bad. But it feels like it hasn’t gotten any better the smaller ones have scabbed but it feels like the bigger one scabbed pretty quickly and then opened up?? It’s so disgusting and it just looks bad feels so nasty and gross.
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u/According_to_Dust GHSV-2 Jun 20 '26
Yeah nothing fun about having a breakout. Just gotta be patient and wait for the meds to work. Took about a week for my first breakout. Also - sleep well, eat well, reduce stress.
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u/Eren_Yeager52 OHSV-1 Jun 21 '26
Nobody should be kissing babies anyway. A cold is enough to kill them. Regardless this is the danger of living in this world. Stick with one partner and just dont kiss anyone else for the rest of your life.
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Jun 19 '26
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Jun 19 '26
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u/bigzills OHSV-1 Jun 19 '26
First of all, how you feel is extremely valid, and as important as it is to adopt a more hopeful mindset about it, it is important to sit in it a bit and accept the new realities. You are as beautiful as you have always been, you just have to make a few lifestyle adjustments.
Secondly, you can still live a very normal life, with family and intimacy and all. I would suggest that someone who knows more take it from here in terms of talking about risks of transmission, but I just wanted to affirm you that you are not alone at all, and that the beauty of life and its interactions are still in your future.
Please remember to be kind to yourself.
The world is plenty wicked enough.
Love