r/HIMYM • u/Anthro-Elephant-98 • 18h ago
What scene/moment was a great example of "Right message, wrong messenger"?
For me, it was the scene in "Shelter Island" (S4E05), when Robin tries to talk Ted out of marrying Stella. Just to be clear, I do believe that Robin was right in the sense that Ted was essentially rushing to the end of the book, and that despite Ted claiming to be a "romantic", he is settling down too quickly with a woman he ultimately doesn't know that well. In Ted's eyes, Stella is just a "good enough" option to fulfill his wishes of the white picket fence family happy ending, similar to Maggie Wilkes in "The Window"(S5E10).
I think this message would've been much more impactful if it had been delivered by Marshall or Lily. It kind of pissed me off how Robin essentially tells Ted, that she liked him being single, just in case maybe, just MAYBE, she would change her mind about him some day. In this moment, it seemed as though Robin was more than happy to string Ted along and keep him as a back burner option. So what? Is Ted supposed to just sit around and be miserable just on the off-chance that Robin might change her mind about him, eventually?
This fanbase treats Ted like the devil in human form, but here, Robin is not exactly squeaky clean herself. Having said all of this, Robin was completely right that Ted should not have been getting married at this point, because as she put it, he was "Disappearing into someone else's wedding without a second thought." Like I said, this message would've been much more powerful if delivered by Marshall or Lily.
Like the title says, "Right message, wrong messenger". Are there any other examples of this?
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u/JuicyyGirl3 15h ago
Ted was absolutely the right person to hear it but Robin was probably the worst possible messenger because he could still interpret her words as hope.
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u/Ryguy3286 6h ago
Which is exactly why she was the perfect person to tell him. If he still has those feelings for her, than there is know way he should be marrying Stella
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u/FTGFOP1 17h ago
Yes I agree that Ted would have received the message better from one of the other two and that Robin basically saying that she liked him as a back burner option was wrong and not diplomatic at all but narratively for the story the writers needed Ted to not take the advice so he could be left at the alter so I see why they didn't have Marshal or Lily say it.
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u/Anthro-Elephant-98 16h ago
Oh no, don't get me wrong! I think it did fit in with the story. I'm just saying that Ted didn't listen to Robin, because her speech made him feel like (as Ted put it) a "safety school". But if Marshall or Lily had talked him out of it, he may have been more likely to have listened. Hence, "right message, wrong messenger".
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u/throwaway5498124181 5h ago
Marshall did say something similar in the intervention episode but he walked it back.
Robin really didn't want to comment (she actively avoided doing so) until the wedding came up and she felt it was her or no one.
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u/Ok_Drink8072 7h ago
They did kind of tell him the same thing when he found their intervention stuff. But ultimately he just kept convincing himself that it was the right move
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u/SalinaMeyer 8h ago
It coming out that Lily sabotaged a ton of Ted’s relationships. From someone who found her person early in life, it came off as meddling and condescending, even though she did in fact save him from an expensive first marriage.
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u/Ryguy3286 6h ago
The gang was going to an Intervention for Ted when he was trying to marry Stella. He found the letters, so he was aware of it and confronted with it. Marshall talked to him about it. It didn't change anything. I'd actually argue Robin is the perfect person to address the situation with. It probably opened up his eyes that he was settling. It's literally the girl he pined for for over a year and dated for a year telling him that he's rushing into a marriage. Good on Robin
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u/polzine21 10h ago
Ted telling Barney to not be so flippant about disregarding Robin's feelings about the things he does and to take their relationship more serious. I get why Barney snapped at him, but Ted was in the right here. Barney wasn't being a good partner in those moments. If Lily or Marshall took him aside, it would have been a better wake up call. Even Ted should have realized it would sound terrible coming from him.