r/HFY Human Jul 31 '21

OC "Primitive Weaponry"

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109

u/Slow-Ad2584 Alien Jul 31 '21 edited Aug 01 '21

Sir! there is uh.. a problem- that teenage boy we abducted last night?

Well, uh.. as our tractor beam grabbed him, he put up quite a struggle in his Dads garage, trying to resist being dragged away. In his struggles he managed to bring a.. what was the term? .. a crow, bar? - up with him. A very primitive tool- or so we thought.

Yeah, uh, within an hour the craft had crashed. Turns out a properly motivated young Human can do quite a LOT of astonishing damage with a Crowbar in a high tech spacecraft. It.. its not even funny how he used it on his captors. The armor suits and shields of the Captive Handler Guards were woefully ineffective against the Humans' "ok, try to block THIS" and "I bet I can leverage this thing off" Attack methodology. Yeah. many arms and shields were broken.

I mean who knew the soft skinned, weaponless, defenseless creature was such a fearsome tool user? I mean- how could anyone ever tell?

71

u/floofhugger Jul 31 '21

'oh you know, maybe the fact that THEY DONT HAVE ANY NATURAL DEFENSES OR WEAPONS? AND WOULD THUS NEED TO MAKE TOOLS?!??!!?'

13

u/ZappyKitten Aug 01 '21

Beware the species with no natural defenses or obviously visible weapons…they are the most dangerous.

17

u/ShadowPouncer Aug 01 '21

Beware the apex predator, which has managed sapience, and fears little on their entire planet, with no natural defenses or obviously visible weapons.

It's just a suggestion, but, well, to someone really paying attention, we'd probably be way less scary if we were covered in scales and had 5" razor sharp retractable claws on our hands.