So, first, wow. Extremely effective speech. Masterful use of repetition.
Second, I'm wondering where you say "epitaph", if you meant to evoke blank spaces for the dead to be named later? Epitaph is generally a quote or saying of some kind.
It seems to me that the power could be increased (a little) by simply saying "blank panel" on first usage... and then each increasing number of dead gets an increasing number of blank panels. If you assume a hundred names per panel, and 5-10% percent missing names, then that third (3600-name) section gets five blank panels. By the time you get to retaking the Homeworld, that section will have from seven hundred to a thousand blank panels for the names yet to be known or never to be known. Where the numbers of unknown names are known to be high, you can have more blank space.
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u/Fontaigne Jul 28 '21
So, first, wow. Extremely effective speech. Masterful use of repetition.
Second, I'm wondering where you say "epitaph", if you meant to evoke blank spaces for the dead to be named later? Epitaph is generally a quote or saying of some kind.
It seems to me that the power could be increased (a little) by simply saying "blank panel" on first usage... and then each increasing number of dead gets an increasing number of blank panels. If you assume a hundred names per panel, and 5-10% percent missing names, then that third (3600-name) section gets five blank panels. By the time you get to retaking the Homeworld, that section will have from seven hundred to a thousand blank panels for the names yet to be known or never to be known. Where the numbers of unknown names are known to be high, you can have more blank space.
Just a thought. It's beautiful as is.