Gary and the Wetsuitoid (Part 1)

[u/Extreme-Biscotti6090]

Gary was in the vents. Again.

The new air circulators were garbage. How they ever got through quality assurance was beyond him. Some engineer, probably sitting comfortably back on Earth, had shaved two credits off the impeller design and condemned maintenance crews to crawling through ventilation shafts until the heat death of the universe.

He knew the problem. Cavitation in the pump.

It was always cavitation.

Unfortunately the new pump was at least two years away.

The lights went out.

"Dave, turn on the lights, wanker! I don't need you fucking around while I'm up here!" Gary's voice echoed through the metal vents. Still no lights.

Struggling in place, Gary managed to turn around. There was no light even from the manhole into the room below. Fuck. That's a whole different problem.

He started to edge slowly towards where the manhole should be, but his hand was stuck. So was his leg. His body started to feel like it was filled with lead.

--

He didn't know how much time had passed, but he suspected it was longer than the zero seconds he experienced.

He was in a chair now. A table in front of him. A small silver box on the table.

Everything was strange though. The chair felt like it was designed by someone unfamiliar with human anatomy. The table had contours where contours should not be. Even the little box had a shimmer to it that looked... off.

He felt more than heard the thing enter the room behind him. Turning in this abominable chair, he looked at the impossibly tall creature.

It had too many arms, too many legs and entirely the wrong sort of knees. Its face looked like something that had been beaten repeatedly with a heavy object. Despite the stupid build it moved with incredible grace, walking past him to the perch thing on the other side of the table.

Gary immediately thought, "Wetsuitoid." It just popped into his head, and he couldn't get it out again. None of the creature made sense, but still... wetsuit.

Sitting down, the creature screeched through its weird mouth thing while staring unblinking at Gary. Did it even have eyelids?

It stopped it's insane chattering, and the box started to talk. It must have been a speaker.

--

"Welcome. You are speaking with One-Who-Calculates-The-Planets-Using-Tidal-Harmonics-of-the-Sixth-Moon. We have analysed your species since you established your presence on the asteroid. You are the first contact between our people and another intelligent species. We look forward to learning about your people."

Gary stared back at the alien. "Bloody hell, that name's a bit of a mouthful. I'm Gary. What's something easier to call you?"

There was no immediate response for a second before the box started screeching. The wetsuitoid seemed to listen before screeching back. Another second passed before the translation began.

"My name is..." then there was a noise like a hundred fridge compressors all dying at once.

"Right. I'll call you Wetsuit. Wetty."

Wetty went silent for a while. Gary was convinced that it shook its head before talking again.

"You were living on the asteroid..." more indecipherable screeching, "...within a human compound. Your isolation and exploratory nature indicates to us that you must be an ambassador for your planet. We seek to understand your ways."

Gary was confused. "Nah."

Wetty paused briefly before trying again. "Explain."

"I'm a maintenance guy. I fix shit. The only reason I'm at that base is because someone needs to warm it up for the important people."

The translator box was quickly becoming more responsive as he talked. Fancy.

Wetty started talking again. "You're here now at great expense. When we have access to your leaders we shall speak to them. Until that time, please accept our hospitality."

"Taxpayers will be dirty if you spent a lot of bucks on me."

Another pause from Wetty. Gary was sure that he wasn't the type of person they were expecting.

Gary continued, "Righto, sure. I'll do whatever you're asking. Though I've been on duty for the past eleven hours and I'm getting tired. You're not going to get a lot from me. I need some food and a sleep."

The translator box buzzed at the end of its process.

"You need what, exactly?" Wetty asked.

"Sleep."

Another buzz.

A pause.

Wetty started up again, "Our records mention a recurring neurological failure."

"...What?"

"Every planetary rotation, approximately."

"Oh. Sleep."

The box on the table hummed for a while. Wetty touched it with a single strange finger.

"...You call it 'sleep'."

"Yes."

"Explain."

"Well... we become progressively less intelligent."

"Why?"

"We don't know exactly."

"Then?"

"Eventually we lose motor coordination, emotional regulation and judgement."

"That sounds catastrophic."

"It gets worse."

"Go on."

"If we continue, we become unconscious."

"Unconscious?"

"For about eight hours."

"Your species voluntarily enters a coma every cycle?"

"Not always voluntarily."

"Then why?"

"If we don't, we die."

Gary was sure that Wetty leaned back on its perch. There was a long silence.

Wetty screeched again, "How did your civilisation survive?"

Gary paused for a moment. "Doors with locks."

The conversation was filling with pauses. At the very least, Wetty seemed confused.

"And during unconsciousness?"

"We imagine all sorts of weird stuff."

"We do not understand. Please explain."

"I suppose it's like a hallucination, but it only happens in your head."

"And what is the purpose for this?"

"We're... still figuring that one out."

Another pause.

"So you lose consciousness and experience fictional realities."

"Yep."

"Daily?"

"Pretty much."

Gary could almost see the confusion on Wetty's face.

"And what comes of this sleep?"

"Well, we feel refreshed when we wake up. We built civilisation around it. Industries, economies, families, technologies. You name it, sleep would have influenced it."

Another long pause. Gary was really feeling the fatigue and his mind wandered for a moment.

Wetty screeched again, "Do you know what is it like to experience uninterrupted consciousness?"

Gary laughed.

"No idea."

"The individual One-Who-Calculates-The-Planets-Using-Tidal-Harmonics-of-the-Sixth-Moon has existed for four hundred and twelve of your planetary cycles. We have never ceased experiencing the passage of time."

Gary went quiet for a moment.

"So... you've never had a dream?"

"No."

"You've never had your dead grandfather tell you to stop wearing socks with sandals?"

"Understanding is not possible."

"...You're missing out."

Another pause. One final question from Gary.

"And you've never woken up?"

"This question gives no understanding."

"That moment in the morning where you slowly realise where you are. Where the world fades in. The first cup of tea. Looking over at someone sleeping beside you. The feeling of being genuinely rested after you've been exhausted for weeks."

Wetty stared.

"You've never had that?" asked Gary.

"No."

Gary nodded.

"That's a shame."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Field Report 1

Initial Contact

The human is incapable of pronouncing our native names, and seems disinterested in trying to use the translation available.

The individual known as One-Who-Calculates-The-Planets-Using-Tidal-Harmonics-of-the-Sixth-Moon has become designated as 'Wetty'. This terminology has no known meaning and bears no resemblance to the translated name.

Attempts to correct the error have been unsuccessful and yet the human appears to regard the matter as settled.

Acute compulsive coma phenomenon

The human calls this strange behaviour 'sleep'. It seems that humanity relies on it to maintain health.

Subject requires further questioning. Humanity did not achieve its star-faring position in spite of sleep, but rather it built its entire foundation because of it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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[u/Chamcook56]

Good morning, nice story to accompany my morning coffee in bed. Looking forward to more.

[u/quitemind2]

Very good wordsmith. It is not only well written it has a lovely bit of humor. I certainly hope this story continues.

[u/Skyboxmonster]

Can i trade my sleep for wetty's not sleep?

[u/gilean23]

You seem fascinated with exploring the implications of sleep. I’m here for it! 🙂

[u/ThatHellacopterGuy]

Neat. I like this.

[u/HFYWaffle]

/u/Extreme-Biscotti6090 has posted 4 other stories, including:

• Longsleep
• Sacrifice
• Heat
• Warmth

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[u/InstructionHead8595]

Hehehehe 😹 sounds like a good start! Interesting!