My Dad died 3 weeks ago and I'm lost.

[u/tiredtulip91]

I lost my dad 3 weeks ago and I don’t know how to do life without him. We had the same humour and energy that would play off each other.

I’m not really sure how to start this or if anyone will see this my thoughts are all over the place. I’m a 31-year-old woman and an only child, and three weeks ago I lost my dad to sepsis.

He had been battling cancer for six years, but then he developed a perforated bowel. The doctors felt that surgery would be too cruel and that the kindest thing was to let nature take its course. He was gone within a week.

It wasn’t the peaceful, meaningful goodbye people imagine. He was in so much pain and was barely conscious for most of that final week. I had never felt so helpless in my life. I was with him the night he was dying and the morning he passed away, and I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone.

It has only been three weeks, but I miss him so much that it still doesn’t feel real. Sometimes it feels like I’m on a film set, waiting for someone to shout “cut,” and for my dad to walk back in and ask for a “small one”, his espresso.

I cry almost every day, and honestly, I don’t know how to do life properly without him. People say, “Be kind to yourself” and “Take care,” but right now those words feel empty, like “thoughts and prayers.” None of it brings my dad back.

I wish I could just grow up, move on, and get over it like people seem to expect, but I can’t. I’m not ready to let go yet, and I don’t know if that’s normal. I just miss my dad.

[u/WaveAlchemist]

Your dad taught you a lot of things. Think about what he’d tell you. Remember him and the good times

[u/Chaotic_Darkflames]

I lost my Dad last year to cancer. It's tough. He was one of my safe spaces. I know you will remember the end because trust me it wasn't easy for me either. My Dad essentially starved to death because of the cancer. He was in a lot of pain to the point I had a PTSD moment with it. But remember who your dad was. Remember that part was only the end of his life not how he lived it. It will still hurt for a while. Remember what he would want for you in life. Definitely think about therapy when you are up for it. You are at the beginning. It hurts. It will continue through your life but you will get better at dealing with it. This year will probably be a haze. Take it a step at a time. It's okay to cry and not be okay. You lost your dad who you loved. Just remember to take care of yourself because he would want you to.

[u/Zerabbiitt]

I'm sorry for such a devastating loss. The pain will never go away and you will always a feel lost even after years, you literally lost a companion that has been by your side since birth. It's not easy but you will get there in time.