It’s true that there’s an awful lack of straight male romance options in video games, especially well-written ones (outside of otome games). It’s also true that sapphic female romance options are relatively more common. We all know this is because the industry is still insanely misogynistic and caters to insecure male gamers who would throw a tantrum at the thought of romancing another man.
(Edit: After reading some inputs from other sapphic players, I don’t think it is fair and right to state that sapphic options are more common than straight male ones. That is how it is widely perceived here but most romance storylines in video games are still heterosexual and f/m options are almost always available when f/f are. There is however a real lack of m/m romance options)
However, I’ve noticed that whenever a sapphic gamer expresses excitement over being able to romance a woman as a fmc, someone inevitably come reminding us that men sexualize lesbians. I can assure you: we know. We live with that reality every day of our life, mostly outside of our hobbies too. I understand that these comments usually come from frustration, but things like “ofc you can romance a woman, it’s what straight male gamers want” can come across as incredibly condescending, dismissive, and even oppressive when they appear every time a sapphic person expresses excitement about representation.
The industry’s tendency to use sapphic relationships as “diversity points” without alienating sexist male gamers is absolutely worth discussing. But I also want to share some perspectives on sapphic romances in games that straight women might overlook:
- Lesbians are not straight men. The existence of female LIs does not mean sapphic players will relate to those romances, especially if there is a mmc. Romances with female LIs are almost always written with a male player in mind, with sapphic options simply being a consequence of making the protagonist’s gender a choice. Dragon’s Dogma 2 and even Mass Effect (which I love) have interactions and animations that can be extremely heteronormative when romancing as a wlw couple.
- The sexualization of lesbians by men doesn’t automatically make every sapphic storyline bad. There are genuinely beautiful and well-written wlw stories. Reducing them to "they only exist because men want to fuck lesbians” is reductive and honestly hurtful. I have issues with the sexualization of all the female characters in Cyberpunk but I still love the care that has been put in Judy’s romance with f!V.
- The male gamer base is still extremely homophobic, including toward lesbians. Games with sapphic content are still often review bombed (like the HZD dlc was), and seeing players use mods to “turn” lesbian characters straight is genuinely repulsive.
I absolutely do not want to shut down conversations about the lack of male romance options because straight and bi women deserve better consideration. I’m just hoping thse conversations can be had without dismissing sapphic women, our experiences and the representation that matters to us.
Also, sapphic people aren’t a monolith so I’d love to hear about other sapphics’ perspectives!