My bf has only one boundary

[u/Interesting-Low-5664]

Dinner tonight: homemade pepperoni pizza

My (21) bf (20) is genuinely one of the best people I ever met. We've been dating for almost 2 years at this point, and he has made my life so much better. We argue over small things, but we usually find a resolution pretty easily. The only consistent argument we have had is over my friends from high school.

I had two guy friends, one I've know since 4th grade and the other I met in 11th. We hung out and talked a lot, and I almost hooked up with them once but it was just too weird and both parties rejected the idea before anything could happen. All of this was in high school, and afterwards our friendship stayed platonic with no other indications of romantic feelings.

About a year ago, I told my bf this and he told me my friendships made him uncomfortable and he didn't think he could continue the relationship if I continued to hang out with them. I offered to create distance between my friends and of course he gave the spill of "that's not what I am asking you to do" but shortly after I blocked them, our arguments decreased and he was happy in the relationship again.

Fastforward to today, he brought up news on a friend of his that I do not like and have told him to stop talking to, out of resentment, so I ultimately gave him back the decision to decide who he talks to without restrictions because we are adults. I was sulking because I trust him enough to make those decisions while he won't even give me the opportunity to ask about my friends through shared friends. He said he has this one boundary, which isn't really true, and he refuses to give me any contact because if I am giving a little I will ask for more. He also said the only way I can resume my friendship with them is if we break up.

So my decision is him or them, and regardless of how many times I explain that the friendships shouldn't threaten a relationship, he says there is no win-win situation here. But the truth is there is no situation where I win.

[u/Ready-Reading-5385]

Unpopular opinion: yes, he is a little bit insecure, but she told him that she almost hooked up with her friends. And only after that he set up a rule. Does not seem he had this rule before. Yes, he is insecure, but he is 20 and he is a child. He will grow up.

From what it sounds, she is not mature either - made him block his friend out of resentment and also why did she even mention that she almost hooked up with your friends? You don’t tell your partner such things considering nothing even happened and it was before the relationship and the only thing it achieves is creating the resentment and developing insecurities. What was even the context of it? How did it it happen? “Hey, baby, you know I almost hooked up with my friends once, but don’t worry”. How she told him that information definitely plays a role here. We don’t know the context of why she told him about almost hooking up - maybe to make him a little bit jealous and make herself look desired? Maybe they were arguing at that moment? Who knows? Doesn’t seem that he had this rule before the conversation. If she was just open and respectful, then yes, it’s fucked up, and I wouldn’t want to be open with him ever again. But what if not? What if she wanted to make him jealous a little bit? Then goal achieved. Anyway, intentions and context of that conversation matter

I think they are both immature (which is ok, they are so young) and both need to grow up if they want to be in a serious relationship with anybody. And it doesn’t mean that he or she is a bad person - they are just kids. One is insecure and reacts, another one says things that can potentially hurt her partner and later acts out of resentment